I would be lying if I said that I don’t want that for him or don’t think that it could give him a leg up in life. However, I always talk to him about good aspects of LACs, merit money in public and not so selective but solid private schools. I’m always proud of him and don’t need an Ivy’s attestation to know his value. I know he’ll do alright no matter where he ends up with his work ethics. He is a smart and strong kid but not getting into any of the selective schools would be disappointing after working hard for 12 years of grade school and acquiring much much higher stats than required or desired levels.
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http://hls.harvard.edu/dept/jdadmissions/apply-to-harvard-law-school/undergraduate-colleges/
Look at the link above. This is where the class that entered Harvard Law School for the 2014-2015 year went undergrad. Even for the CC crowd, there may be some schools in there most of us haven’t heard of! @WorryHurry411 , I really understand where you’re coming from. We all want the best for our kids, but clearly, kids who are bright, engaged, and have a good work ethic will bloom in almost any garden.
It is important, I think, as our kids go through this process, to do what we can to not create additional stress by making them feel that certain outcomes will be terribly disappointing for us (even if they are.) If a kid is excited about what their college experience is going to be, who are we to make them feel that their enthusiasm should be tempered because it’s not what we’d hoped? Your son may well get into one of those fancy schools. Or maybe not. But he’ll still be an amazing kid either way.
There are so many really great schools out there that it is possible to prioritize fit over prestige without giving up quality or opportunity.
Your son needs to cast a wide net. Period.
If he has not already done so, he needs to find some sure thing schools…places where he has a high high probability of being accepted…and that he likes. Your state school system has many such schools. Pick two.
He then needs to pick a few probables but not absolutes. These cannot be schools with acceptance rates under 10%. And yes, they might be out of the top 20.
And then he needs his reaches of which he has plenty.
He needs to understand that ANY school with an acceptance rate under 10% is not going to be a sure thing.
And he also needs to know…there are very smart kids at EVERY college in this country. Every one.
This thread is an oldie but the premises in it still apply. This kid was a VERY smart kid. When you read this thread, you will see that he landed on his feet after taking a gap year. But he had NO acceptances in his first application round. None. He was smart, well rounded, and had tons to offer every college on his application list. None accepted him. He had NO sure thing schools on his list.
This is the thread done to update CC after the gap year. You can look for other posts by this poster to read the whole story. Suffice it to say…it was an awful time as rejection after rejection was received.
Luckily, this has a happy ending. But there is also good advice about how to avoid the heartache of getting rejected everywhere you apply.
Note that he did not appear to have any sure thing safeties the second time either, but got lucky.
Actually @ucbalumnus the second list was much more balanced…and with his NM status and fabulous grades and test scores, I personally think Case Western was a sure thing.
Plus…it’s a lot easier to “get lucky” when the school acceptance rates are above 10%.
If the OP son to this thread applies to only top 20 schools with acceptance rates of 10% or less, he might be out of luck also.
As Andi wrote several times…this was an avoidable situation.
CWRU does see “level of applicant’s interest” as “important”, so an “overqualified” applicant may not want to see it as a sure thing.
And this is true for the very large majority of students who apply to selective schools. He is no different.
We expected out kids to be hard working throughout their years at school. That is what they were supposed to be doing.
Top 20 college acceptance isn’t a reward for hard school work.
@ucbalumnus,
Things were a bit different a decade or more ago when some of us oldtimers watched andison’s scenario play out. It was painful, and speaks to the absolute need for each student to sing “love thy safety”… and have one to love.
@WorryHurry411 “Of course we’ll apply to matches and safeties but growing up as a high acchiver he kinda had his eyes set on these schools and it would be hard to accept that he has to settle for second tier even though his stats are better than at least 50% of accepted students and similar to 40%, probably lower than 10% or less. I’m wondering if this is going to effect his drive to do his best in future?”
“Stats” get you in the ‘let’s consider this kid’ pile, but after that, you have to have something else for the as you call them ‘first tier’ schools. That’s where recs, essays and ecs come into play, and since you can’t ascertain exactly what the magic potion is for those, people end up focusing too narrowly on ‘stats’ and then think they ‘deserve’ a spot because their numbers are good. You can help your S by stop focusing on those stats, they are only 1 piece of the puzzle.
@WorryHurry411 I guarantee that if your son does not attend an Ivy or MIT he will continue to be around his academic peers. My daughter graduated with very high “stats” just like many and is currently at a well known OOS flagship and did not make honors despite being above the 75%. Who made honors from OOS? Those kids with outstanding “stats” AND who also sold clothing lines to dept stores or ran and then sold their own music business. One kid developed some type of water system. My kid had good ECs but nothing like that- not even close.
There are lots of very smart kids out there, but it takes more than that to get into Yale. My kid interviewed for a room/board scholarship at Pitt and was blown away by the caliber of students in the honors program. She described them as “brilliant.” She acknowledged that if she had chosen Pitt honors she would have absolutely been surrounded by outstanding students.
It is truly shocking to leave the bubble and see what is out there. Grades and scores are only one piece of the pie.
@thumper1 is right in that acceptance to a top 20 school is not a reward for hard work.
One thing to do do is assure him that you are proud of his efforts and the man he has become and happy for him when those efforts create the outcomes he seeks. You can commiserate with him if it results in disappointment. The key is you both will be disappointed in the results not your son. It is a very big world out there. He has spent the last 18 years becoming who he is and it sounds like he has become a young man you can be proud of. He now entering a field of not hundreds (like HS) but 10s of thousands who will be seeking the same outcomes. There are probably hundreds of thousands of others who will consider applying but decide either the chances are to low or its just not important enough to them. Wherever he ends up it is his character that will determine his success far more than the university.
@WorryHurry411 You (and the commenters here) have identified your son’s (and your) problem very well. Now, you need to come up with the solution.
First of all, if you haven’t already, your son needs to start doing college tours asap to find out what types of schools he prefers and learn that he can have a great experience at a school outside the USNWR top 10. I would strongly recommend doing a college tour in Boston during term time so he can see for example, Harvard and MIT but also Tufts, BC and either BU or Northeastern.
He will see that all of these are great schools but have their differences. For example, I have never heard of a high stats kid that didn’t like BC (although not all eventually applied) as the school is a great all-rounder (strong academics, social life, location, school spirit and big conference sports (although the teams are a bit rubbish right now)). Once he figures out what type of school he likes and what his likely major is his list should take shape quite easily. Good luck.
Good advice and some really good solutions. This thanksgiving I’m grateful for CC.
I think if he had a decided major then it would be easier. Going undecided is making it more complicated.
@londondad,
The OP has said elsewhere that they were limiting the # of college visits. This thread sounds a bit like a humblebrag, TBH.
As for BC, its a jesuit school and not everyone would feel comfortable there.
I’m glad that you have superpowers to read human minds for their intentions of humblebragging but this OP is genuinely concerned about the kid.
You should look at Naviance and his school admittance history.
It doesn’t take “superpowers” to read and interpret “my kid is an academic superstar and the poor thing might wilt and lose his motivation (you said that but it was then gone) if he doesn’t get into the top tier he deserves and has to attend a ‘second tier’ with the peons”.
So if you REALLY are concerned about your kid, tell him you will love him and be proud of him no matter where he goes, and you know he will do well and succeed. Many academic superstar kids do well in school and don’t get into top colleges. Its only a big deal if YOU make it so. So don’t. Be the role model for the genuine belief that he is accomplished and will thrive wherever he is planted.
We’ve tried to explain to OP, over many threads, that it’s more than stats, wishes, and close parental oversight. And it feels like, here we are, back at the same question. My past impression was not that the son would have trouble settling “for second tier,” but that he was more laid back, the parent was trying to rev him up, and it could be the parent who wants to see better.
This is about the leap to college, not transferring to a better high school. The competition is fierce, the expectations are higher, all those kids with 4.0 and high scores, the right ECs, evidence of drives and follow-through, the right perspective and more. You have to understand what a top college looks for, which is different that the superficials of high school success. For that, dig into what the colleges themselves say. And then, it all has to come through in the app and supps, which are the sum total of the hs record/activities/impact and how a kid actually thinks (or not) and self presents.