<p>Hey, this is just a shout out to let parents and students know that it is perfectly normal for a few colleges to fall off the application list at this point. </p>
<p>Kids are exhausted. To scramble through several more "Why Happy College is perfect for me" essays can just be too much. At this point some students just want to chill -- they haven't a clue why Happy College is perfect for them and it seems dishonest and overwhelming to dredge up some fiction. </p>
<p>Every year -- absolutely EVERY year in April -- we see a kid here who has only applied to highly selective schools and learns, horribly, that none of those schools offered admission. The student (usually some talented, marvelous kid) is then scrambling around to learn what school has rolling admissions and still has space available in May. You can feel their disappointment, desperation and worry with their every posting. </p>
<p>So, it's normal for some college applications to fold up and die at this point -- but, please, parents and students, go ahead and nurture and finish that one application that gets you into a suitable but not uber selective school. Please!</p>
<p>Our D worked on applications from September through Jan 1 last year. Yes…she applied to that many schools. It got really stressful in December. The last week of December, she had five more to go and these were the super reaches. She really wanted to give them a shot so she sat in her Dad’s (home) office, on the other side of his desk and knocked them out one at a time. Each one seemed to drain more and more of her energy. December 31 came and there was just one more. I have to admit to standing over her and forcing the issue. This one had the longest supplement. I saw some of her responses and shuddered. What is your favorite website, it asked. “Google, duh!!!” was the response. Really!!! I though I was gonna have a heart attack. When she hit the submit button, she stomped off to her room and we did not see her for hours. </p>
<p>On March 31, she just needed to see the no’s from those super reaches to be able to move on and make the choice. She had a dozen acceptances and had narrowed it down to two…and she was happy. She came home from school and logged onto her laptop and went through them one by one. HPY and U of Chicago: all no. She just shrugged. She logged into the last one and the oddest look came over her face. “I think I just got into Stanford” she whispered. So it turned out that the last application was the one. Maybe it was the truest picture of her personality. Who knows?</p>
<p>The point of my long story is don’t let schools fall by the wayside. If the school looked desirable in October, then push through the exhaustion. If my D hadn’t finished that last one, she wouldn’t now be a freshman at Stanford. You can do this!!! Best wishes to all!!!</p>
<p>It sure is tempting to return to that blank Stanford application form after reading your post, emgamac. Every kid probably has one lingering application that just keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the list. It’s usually a reach school, the one that has supplemental questions that won’t quit and for my son that was Stanford. </p>
<p>As the cool breezes turned from dry auburn leaves to white flakey snow and the romance between his Stanford GF grew, she began to talk about transferring; the application stayed untouched. Instead, he added plenty of well thought out reaches along with a variety of safeties and just right schools. The list was much longer than he expected, but he had good, distinct reasons for each one. Without regret, he removed Stanford from his list of schools on the common app. and just today submitted the last of his applications, including the very first one he worked on, Princeton.</p>
<p>*Every year – absolutely EVERY year in April – we see a kid here who has only applied to highly selective schools and learns, horribly, that none of those schools offered admission. The student (usually some talented, marvelous kid) is then scrambling around to learn what school has rolling admissions and still has space available in May. … but, please, parents and students, go ahead and nurture and finish that one application that gets you into a suitable but not uber selective school. Please! *</p>
<p>This is such a good reminder - especially since many of those safety schools have super EZ apps - often no essays or teacher recs are needed. </p>
<p>I’ve known parents (with kids’ permission) to do those EZ apps for their overwhelmed kids, since those apps literally take like 5 -15 minutes.</p>
<p>^I agree, with a small caveat: before you (as a parent) do a quick application for your kid, be sure they are willing to attend and at least LIKE the school, if not love it. Otherwise, it’s just a waste of money, and your energies would be better directed to pushing your kid to find a safety that they actually do like.</p>
<p>During my n years on CC, there have been only ONE, not 2, not one every year. I mean only one known case that the student did not get any admission. </p>
<p>On the other hand, there have been so many successful stories like emgamac’s D. </p>
<p>so, my feeling is that the idea that one must have safety schools are way overrated.</p>
<p>Actually, Dad II, there are many situations where the kid might as well have not received any acceptances, because they’ve only been accepted to a state school safety that they hate, or to a school that they want to attend but absolutely cannot afford.</p>
<p>I’m glad the kid preservered and was rewarded for the tenacity – but I am thinking more of the kid who is faced with a pile of applications and realizing that one or more schools is “neither fish nor fowl” – it’s not really a marvelous fit nor is it anything particularly special to the student. It is simply one more opportunity in a sea of opportunities. </p>
<p>As a parent, we can want all doors open to our darlings. It is more natural, however, for some doors to swing shut – they aren’t right for our kid. We are down to the wire for many applications. Parents and students can add battles to the already stressful situation or they can pause for a quick analysis: how much of the To Be Done pile is left? What are the sequences of priorities? </p>
<p>My guy would have stuck with it if I had insisted. But he had finished 8 applications (Eight!) and he was tired. I got on line and read through the website of the one remaining school – I couldn’t see that this particular school had enough different and special to make it worth another slog through an essay. When I expressed my analysis, my son embraced it with a great sense of relief and went off and buried himself in a fantasy novel. Win-win in my book.</p>
<p>I’ve been reading here four years and I definitely recall an annual spring hunt for colleges with rolling admissions. Sometimes it is the student and sometimes it is the parent who posts for advice. </p>
<p>Just think about it statistically – gazillions of applications to tough schools and there are bound to be at least a few kids who come up with a mailbox full of skinny envelopes.</p>
<p>^I agree, with a small caveat: before you (as a parent) do a quick application for your kid, be sure they are willing to attend and at least LIKE the school, if not love it.</p>
<p>That can be true! That’s why I included the with kid’s permission mention (altho I should have also included the policy that some families have: that the children get to pick X number of schools to apply to, and the parents get to pick 2-3 schools (parent picks). :)</p>
<p>However, even if a child says at this point, “I wouldn’t ever go there,” unless the parent knows that the school has some aspect that would make it impossible for your child to tolerate (for instance: single sex or too religious), there are many kids who are happily attending safety schools suggested by parents that the kids NEVER thought that they would like and only applied because parents kind of insisted. </p>
<p>For many of these safety schools, the app are only about $30 (and sometimes free), so it’s not a huge investment loss if your child later rules it out when all acceptances/aid packages come in. I would much rather risk $30 on a school that has *decent possibilities *than have a sad spring with no safeties and a lot of rejections or unaffordable schools.</p>
<p>I loved the Stanford story too. You never really know. I hope she has a great 4 years.
One of my twins is applying to a few reaches. One had a lot of supplements and she kept putting if off, but she finished it last night. She also rushed another and said, “I’m tired of ruminating about it, they like or they don’t” and hit submit…I didn’t look at it. : ) She knows it’s a long shot but as long as she had others, why not. She insisted on paying for the last since it was expensive and I let her. A little maturity that I liked.
Another reason she felt applying was a good idea, was although they were far from a safety, the FA would be better than her “matches”.</p>
<p>I don’t want to discourage anyone from applying to a “reach” school. Sometimes the hoity private schools end up being not so hoity and very, very generous with financial aid. </p>
<p>All along here, I am talking about:
Not badgering a student over one more application when the school is NOT a special fit or option. Sometimes enough is truly enough.
Making sure that there is at least one “Ace in the hole” application that IS finished. </p>
<p>I don’t like the word “safety” – I think it has too much baggage as a “loser” choice. I’d rather have a family scout like mad until they find the “Ace in the hole” choice. Kinda like shopping for a Toyota, eyeing a Lexus but keeping an open mind about the used but low mileage Chevy that has clearly been cherished. One could go lots of happy miles in that Chevy if the price is right.</p>
<p>DadII, D1 does know of one person who did not get into any school that she liked. She did get into Cal Poly SLO, but it did not have her major. She ended up attending CC. My daughter said she has good GPA from a competitive high school. Just because it’s not on CC that does not mean it does not happen in real life.</p>
<p>I also think “safety” when it’s a financial safety, is different from a safety just because of percentage of students admitted and other factors.
My son got into all his colleges but only could afford 2, maybe 3 if I appealed, without a lot of loans. For many students, loving a state school is hard if they aren’t suited to a large school or a large, urban school. Their state school might not be the best school for their intended major or not have other things on a “wish list”. They might have to adjust, but the “fit” people talk about, isn’t there. For them, applying to many schools to see if they might get a nice scholarship from a private school is different from a student who have parents that can pay and it’s just that they are part of many in a small pond.
You can’t force anyone to love a school, but pointing out good points, money saved, etc. and being practical is wise.
For example, my daughter’s friend applied to an Ivy, a few top LAC’s and if she doesn’t get in, can afford with a small scholarship to go to Marist or Stonehill. She wouldn’t like it as much, but she still liked them and they have more “checks” in the fit column than not.
Some students don’t get that choice so they have to be more practical.</p>
<p>Dad II, it took a lot of guts for Andi to post that story about her son. I have no doubt it’s occurred to others but that they didn’t have the guts to post about it on the board.</p>
<p>Or – it doesn’t happen because the kid applies to all top schools and then Average State Flagship, and has “an acceptance” in hand (the state flagship) but it isn’t one that he’s happy with or wants to go to.</p>
<p>The GCs at our HS encourage six applications: two reaches, two matches, two safeties, to prevent this - but I have seen this happen often with kids from two nearby (and very good!) high schools. In the end, they end up happy at our state flagship, which is a great school, but still, it really is nicer if the student has acceptanceS to choose from.</p>
<p>While visiting w/friends this week, the talk was about college. Most of us didn’t have a clue what we were doing when applying to schools. Some of us also said we would’ve applied to more reaches if we could do it over again.<br>
DH was accepted to an ivy but chose a state school because his parents were afraid of the $$ even though he was offered a full ride. He ended up attending a “reachy” school for his postgraduate work instead on his own dime.<br>
So, this is why I’m so invested in my kids’ college search. It’s better to experience a little inconvenience now and have choices later - little or no regrets.</p>