<p>He has visited four schools, says he will apply to all of them and will be happy wherever he gets in. One is a safety, one is a match, one a slight reach and one a bigger reach. He is not interested in visiting any more schools because he's busy playing his sport and doesn't want to take any time off, and also because he will be happy with any of the schools he gets into on his list.</p>
<p>He just doesn't seem to care very much whether he goes to one school or another. He has always been laid back, but this is such a big decision. Have any of you experienced a situation with your kids...either (a) they didn't think they cared that much and cared later, or (b) they didn't care that much all the way through the process and were happy wherever they ended up?</p>
<p>Since I'm the type of person who likes to have lots of options available, his attitude is frustrating to me. I guess I'm looking for someone to tell me it's okay to just let him be with the few schools on his list and if there are regrets later, then it will be because of decisions he made. (After all, I can't force him to apply to a school or to visit one!)</p>
<p>Just know that you are not alone!!! The response I usually get when I suggest additional colleges is “whatever mom, I don’t really care”. I think that they really do care. </p>
<p>I wonder if my son’s attitude is because I spent a lot of time researching colleges and he trusts that I have steered them in the right direction. I swear this whole college thing is turning me into a helicopter parent!</p>
<p>My son only applied to two schools…and your son sounds like a mature well adjusted young man. Pat yourself on the back for raising him.</p>
<p>The truth is most kids will be happy at most schools–who knows why we make such a fetish over “fit.” “Fit” IS important for a few kids, but luckily humans are pretty adaptable creatures and kids who have the good luck to get to go to college usually end up pretty content with where they land.</p>
<p>Make sure the match is truly a match and the safety is iron clad.
Suppose he gets a rejection from his safety right off the bat…
Whatcha gonna do?
Wish you had another match and safety?</p>
<p>All along my oldest son knew which college he wanted to go to and that he could get in. He obliged me by visiting 3 colleges, applying to 2, and is now at the college he really wanted all along. He generally knows what he wants and is able to make decisions easily that are right for him. He also received a much higher scholarship amount at that college than the other one he applied to.</p>
<p>My 2nd son has visited 7 colleges so far. He has a harder time making these types of decisions (takes after his mom), so he will apply to all of the ones he liked of the 7 (about 3 or 4) as well as a couple of others (possibly). He will keep his options open to see where he is accepted, how much scholarship money he receives, and is hoping by the time he needs to make a decision he will have a better idea of what he wants to major in. I expect it will be a hard decision for him when the time comes.</p>
<p>
Sounds like a pretty laid back, adaptable guy to me. I’m guessing he’ll do great wherever he goes :)</p>
<p>S had 2 on his short list (close to home) and w/a little prodding, added 2 more.<br>
He, DH and I together also added 3 - OOS and farther away from home. The bottom line, we told him is it would be a shame if he didn’t apply to these “maybe” schools and had a change of heart late in the game.</p>
<p>Just be sure he applies to one rolling admission place and get that app in early.
If he’s in, no worries.
If he gets rejected, the list gets a revision/addition.</p>
<p>S started with a potential interest list of about 12-15 schools. We visited about 7 or 8 of those. He applied to only 2 (I thought there was a third he would apply to, but when it came down to it, he said he really wasn’t interested in it and didn’t want to apply). He got into both with FA considerably better at School A than School B. Chose School A for the FA and was miserable. Transferred to School B after first semester and is very happy. He is not a guy who needs a lot of choices!</p>
<p>We’re battling the ‘I don’t care’ syndrome in our home. Son has adopted the attitude if he doesn’t get into one of his high reaches, it really doesn’t matter where he goes. UGH!</p>
<p>One of his best friends knew he wanted to go to the local state university, knew he would get in and told his parents if he didn’t get in he would go to the local community college for a year and apply again. It was the only school he applied to. He did get in, thankfully.</p>
<p>I’ve had two counselors (one GC, one private) tell me that quantity doesn’t matter and as long as there is a solid safety, there is no need to apply to a lot of schools unless a kid wants a bunch of choices. In fact, they both said if son came up with a good safety he could live with and a few reaches, that is all he really needs. They recommend 6-8 schools at most.</p>
<p>For my son, I would like to see 1-2 safeties in state, just in case he decides he doesn’t want to go 1/2 way across country for school (his current thinking).</p>
<p>For some students, four is a lot. My son only applied to two colleges (one of which was a safety and the other a match) and resented it greatly when I suggested applying to at least one more.</p>
<p>For some kids, and I think this was true of my son, limiting the list is a way of limiting the amount of time spent thinking and worrying about college. The fewer applications you fill out, the fewer hours you spend on the process. If your son also avoids all talk about going to college, this may be part of his rationale for the relatively short list.</p>
<p>S1 only applied to his first choice, EA, knew by Christmas and did not do anything else. S2 and S3 only applied to 3, me pulling it out of them. Got in them and made the decision. Quantity isn’t everything.</p>
<p>Many students apply to only a handful of colleges. This is the norm, not the exception (cc is a skewed population as we know). Even so, my older s applied to one (ED). If he hadnt gotten in, he already had an EA acceptance and was going to apply to 2 more. So if he hadn’t gotten his ED, he was only applying to 4 schools. Younger s was similar. Had an EA (sort of a rolling)- heard very early. Applied to 3 others. Decided not to bother to finish a 5th application that was 1/2 done. Definitely recommend applying to one that will let you know early. Good luck!! If he has a sure safety, then let him relax and enjoy his senior year! Thre is a lot to be said for not spending it filling out applications!</p>
<p>S1 only wanted our big state u. He knew he would be accepted. He also applied to two other state u.'s (one oos and another in-state) because we pushed him to. He was accepted to all (with merit $ at each) but there really was no decison to make. He knew where he wanted to go all along and never waivered. He just grad. in May. Loved his sch. fr. the first day. Never regretted his choice.</p>
<p>S2 was not as strong of a student as S1. He took the SAT once, didn’t do well and took the “I don’t care. I’ll go wherever that takes me.” attitude.</p>
<p>He applied to two in-state publics, one a safety and one more of a high match . He said he would be perfectly happy to go to either. There were a couple of other instate publics that he prob. could have gotten in but he had no interest in them so I didn’t force it. He was accepted to both schools he applied to and is now happy at the higher match sch.</p>
<p>Both had their acceptances before Thanksgiving and were done. Made for a relaxed senior yr. They both had more fun senior yr. than any other. The pressure was off.</p>
<p>Oldest only wanted to apply to three: 2 OOS publics and 1 OOS private. H and I strongly encouraged her to apply to our flagship U. She felt that she would be happy at any of the three she had chosen and would probably be unhappy at the flagship U. She got into 1 of her 3 and our flagship U. She said that the OOS public she got into was actually her first choice and she was as happy as a clam that she didn’t need to make a decision. I was a total wreck. She never regretted doing things her way and looking back, she picked the best place for her. If you have a responsible kid who usually makes good decisions, trust him with this.</p>
<p>As long as it’s a well thought out 4, and there is truly a safety, match & reach, then he should be fine. My DD has whittled her list down to 5; I just asked her if she was sure that she didn’t want to add another school the other day and she replied that she really liked all 5 on her list and would be pleased at any of them (even though there is a wide variation in type of school.) I know she’s done her homework and thought this through; there’s a reason for everyone of those schools. </p>
<p>Sounds like he’ll bloom where he’s planted, good for him. As long as he’s happy with his safety, he’s fine. I generally like to see kids have 2 safeties so they have a choice in April, but if he would be happy if he only got into his safety, all is well. It is also very early in the app season so if he changes his mind he can always submit a few more later in the season.</p>
<p>My oldest was a one and done early rolling admit to his favorite.</p>
<p>I only applied to two colleges. I half-completed the application for a third, and then decided I didn’t really want to go there. They sent me a letter saying they would waive the essays, but I had to pay the application fee before they would accept me, and I didn’t pay it. This was back pre-ED/EA; I still had to wait until April to hear. But I knew what I wanted, and I knew I was going to get in to at least one of them.</p>
<p>Most of the kids my children’s public high school class applied to one or two colleges. It was only a handful who applied to as many as four, although some wound up with 10+ applications. Their private school friends were much more likely to have 10+ applications, but also much more likely to apply ED and thus only complete one application.</p>
<p>Anyway, obviously only applying to four places is fine if the student would be happy attending any of them and at least one is really, truly a safety.</p>
<p>I personally think it’s crazy to apply to only 4 schools. It’s such a crap shoot…My nephew applied to 6 high reaches, 3 reaches, 2 matches, and 1 safety. He got into matches and safety, 1 reach, and 1 high reach. The high reach he got into was submitted by my sister(with his permission) at the last minute, it was a why not because the application didn’t require additional essays. He is going there. They just dropped him off yesterday.</p>
<p>My nephew is also the most laid back person. He graduated with 4.0, not taking the hardest classes his school had to offer. He had near perfect SATs. My sister admitted maybe it was a mistake he didn’t take harder courses (let him be happy, don’t stress him out). There was also a bit of regret on my nephew’s part after the results came out. Would he have benefited by having his parents insist on taking harder courses or at least explain to him consequence of not taking them? He is going to go to one of the top 20 schools (or is it top 10 now with the new ranking) because he knows it will have an impact on his options after graduation.</p>
<p>Most high school kids are laid back, given a choice. As we know our kids better than themselves sometimes, just make sure there won’t be any regrets come April. Extra applications maybe a pain, but it beats having no school to go to, or go to a school one doesn’t like.</p>
<p>I know I have a different point of view than what’s posted here, just another side.</p>