<ul>
<li>manhattan’s rant about how women are all vapid sluts. yeah bro, i’m sure they aren’t interested in your nerdy ass because they are mentally deficient</li>
</ul>
<p>We had a visiting professor from an Ivy League school, which I will not name to spare the shame, use the word “penultimate” in a speech to describe one of the best experiences of her life…</p>
<p>manhatten brings up valid points. notice how there are more TV channels geared only for girls/women to watch</p>
<p>^well, you’ve mastered posting. so, what do you need help with?</p>
<p>“- manhattan’s rant about how women are all vapid sluts. yeah bro, i’m sure they aren’t interested in your nerdy ass because they are mentally deficient”</p>
<p>LOL.</p>
<p>And I dunno… you don’t use beakers to measure solutions either so both of you are wrong?</p>
<p>^ No, we always use beakers when pouring chemicals from the bottle. then if you want to put it in a flask or cylinder or something, you transfer it from the beaker…because how would you pour something from a big bottle into a flask with a tiny opening on top? Unless you use a funnel, but that would still be hard because these are the big bottles with large openings under the hood, and it would be a waste of time if you’re just heating stuff up.
lmao…if this actually happened it’s really funny</p>
<p>In bio, when we were dissecting fetal pigs, some girl was like “these pigs are so small, are they babies?” and the TA was like, “no, they’re fetal pigs…” and the girl was like “Yeah, but mine is so small, it must have been a baby or something when it was killed.” 
</p>
<p>“Can Native Americans vote?”</p>
<p>teacher: The average of 4 tests taken in class make up your final grade in this class.
(10 sec later, raises hand) Student: So will class participation or attendance factor in on our final grade
Teacher: were you listening to what i just said only the 4 test.
Student: Then you also are not counting that quiz we took two weeks ago…</p>
<p>we were measuring the charge of an electron in physics</p>
<p>we both have stopwatches, i’m measuring the particles going up in some device, he’s measuring the particles going down. he mentions he wants to measure the particles going up</p>
<p>after no sleep the previous night, i hand him my stopwatch</p>
<p>Stupid argument between rival schools ASU and UA.</p>
<p>Girl 1: Sun devils aren’t even real animals.</p>
<p>Girl 2: Well last time I checked wildcats weren’t real either.</p>
<p>It was a short argument.</p>
<p>@pink: it did happen. my hs has a database of dumb things heard around school/in classes. Here’s some other nuggets of wisdom(omitting names for sake of anonymity):</p>
<p>Teacher: You know that book Everybody Poops? It has a twist ending!</p>
<p>// Teacher calls on “Kevin” but another student answers</p>
<p>Teacher: <em>confused</em></p>
<p>Class: There’s three Kevins in this class…
Teacher: Who’s the third Kevin?
<em>Student raises his hand</em>
Dr. Pilloff: What’s your name?
Student: …Kevin</p>
<p>Teacher: Max, I saw you in the street the other day. Why did you not say hi to me?
Max: I’m sorry Teacher, I didn’t see you.
Teacher: What?! As big and as black as I am you did not see me! Now I understand if it was the middle of the night, but in broad daylight?</p>
<p><em>Has to do with a recent arson incident</em>
Alum: What’s your view on the fires?
Teacher: I am anti-fire.</p>
<p><em>On a course syllabus for Comp. Gov</em>
After the AP is over, we will study one more country as a group and then each of you will do a presentation on a country of your choosing. Then you will go to college, graduate, get a job, maybe get married and always think back to the halcyon days of high school when your potential seemed endless. Then you’ll sigh and rush home to your screaming family that has no appreciation for your daily sacrifices, etc, etc.</p>
<p>Student: Mr. Mott, can I do anything for extra credit?
Teacher: Why yes you can. You can kiss my ass.
<em>laughter</em>
Other Student: Teacher, can I quote that?
Teacher: If you do I’ll whoop YO ass.
Other Student: The quote’s just getting longer, Teacher.</p>
<p><em>Going through the most powerful U.S. Presidents in US Gov</em>
Teacher: Now Jackson, of course, invented the moonwalk.
Teacher: He told the Cherokee to “beat it.”</p>
<p>// In gym class a student wrote Voldemort as his nickname on a Delaney card. Then the teacher read it out loud…
Gym Teacher: Voldemort?
// Class laughs for a couple minutes
Gym Teacher: Did I pronounce it wrong?</p>
<p>And I love this one:
Teacher: How many colleges are you kids applying to? Colleges are like Pokemon: you gotta catch 'em all!
<em>in a squeaky voice</em>: Princeton, I choose you! <em>muttering</em> Princeton, Princeton, Princeton.
Teacher: I wonder what Princeton evolves into… oh yeah, Harvard.
Student (muttering): No, Princeton and Harvard are clearly the highest evolution. Barnard clearly evolves into Columbia, Rutgers into Princeton, and BMCC into… uh… (certain high school).</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Classic!!!</p>
<p>Girl in geology class: “Why can’t we just make more fossil fuels? We’re smart and we have labs…”</p>
<p>Teacher: “What other environmental problems are there in the US?”
Guy: “The decimation of the American West.”
Teacher: “Can you expand on that?”
Guy: “The illegals.”
Teacher: “…in what regard?”
Guy: “They’re eating all the animals.”</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>By far my favorite.</p>
<p>I got into a very serious argument with someone over whether or not part of Russia is in Asia. They were convinced Russia was entirely in Europe. …</p>
<p>@chuy: Was the argument over the political or geographic affiliation of Russia?</p>
<p>LOL, melonbread91, you got some great ones, there : D</p>
<p>Talking about computers</p>
<p>Student: “How do you find trojans on your computer? Can you put it under a microscope and see it?”</p>