Really need advice...please...

<p>EliK was implying that a slight build could potentially lead to complications with pregnancy… Especially since you are so young… I had a teacher with an XC build that was put on bed rest her whole pregnancy as a precaution</p>

<p>Some of these responses are disgusting. Seriously, someone posts asking for advice on an unintended pregnancy and the best thing you can think of doing is slut-shaming her? Newsflash: condoms break. That doesn’t mean the girl (or the guy) is a no-good slut who should’ve waited 'til marriage and deserves what she gets. (I know not everyone has reacted like this, but some people have). As for abortion, I’m as pro-choice as they come, but religious and personal beliefs mean that abortion isn’t an option for everyone. </p>

<p>To the OP: Harvard is a crapshoot no matter what your situation is. Just do your best to continue to succeed in school and extracurriculars, maybe get a job to support your child and write your essay about the sacrifices you’ve made to handle the situation you’ve found yourself in. Get your recs to talk about how your schoolwork hasn’t suffered despite having to care for a baby. The key is not being whiny but being optimistic and cheerful, coming across as someone who triumphs against adversity. Even then you very likely won’t get in, just because most people don’t, so do have safeties and matches. </p>

<p>Where is the father in this situation? Have you talked to him about what responsibilities he’ll take on? Absolutely hold him accountable for his half of the childcare.</p>

<p>You do not in fact “do that and more.” That was a partial list of my accomplishments. I’m applying to schools aside from JUST Harvard, too. SOMEONE oughta accept me.</p>

<p>If you can’t juggle parenthood and extracurricular activities in high school without the help of your family, what makes you think you would be able to take care of a baby on your own *and *cope with the workload at Harvard?</p>

<p>No, pregnancy is not considered an adverse situation. Nor are other medical situations like cancer, quadraplegia,etc. What is considered adverse is a dysfunctional family in a poor economic climate. That alone gives a student some consideration. However, AVOIDING a stereotypical pregnancy in that category is more of a heads up rather than falling into that common pitfall. Getting pregnant is very much a typical inner city situation.unfortunately. You fell right into a very common predicament, and one that is not given any leeway. </p>

<p>But if you can perform academically despite that, it isn’t going to be of detriment to you. The problem is that is going to be a challenge for you. Most pregnant teens, young mothers have a lot of challenges and doing very well in challenging courses and putting together an ivy level resume is difficult without having a baby that needs your care. If you can do it, you will be considered but you won’t get any extra points for the baby or the pregnancy. That was YOUR mistake and YOU have to deal with it.</p>

<p>As a parent, you will qualify for financial aid as an independent student. For those schools that are need blind, that isn’t an issue, but for those that are not, it could be. Are your parents able to pay for your college or will you need a full scholarship? At some schools you will be considered a non traditional student which could be an adverse situation. Where are you going to live? A baby in the dorms isn’t going to cut it. Who is going to pay for the infant while you are in school? Are your parents going to take the baby when you go away to college? As a parent of a number of young adults, I can tell you that I would not want to do that and feel very sorry for any parents whose kids put them in that situation. Why should we have to take care of another baby in our impending old age especially one that can be taken away any time when the parent so wishes. You also may have issues with the father of the child. A famous case of a Cornell student who lost custody occurred when the father’s family wanted the baby with the father living with them, when the mother was accepted to Cornell. The initial verdict was for the father. It was an ugly, ugly case. </p>

<p>So though Harvard and some other colleges will look at your app on a purely academic basis, there are selective schools that may feel you are too much trouble to place in their communities. It’s not just academics that they examine.</p>

<p>You’re thin, most likely. Which makes it much more likely for you to have internal problems during pregnancy. In my step-sister’s case, the ferus pressed against her kidney, causing it to stop functioning, and making, not one, not two, but THREE surgeries necessary. See, there are many variables that can harm you and your application worse than a usual pregnancy would.</p>

<p>Having a baby is very taxing, and Harvard is very taxing. Now, I cannot say from experience for either (I’m a male in high school) but at the very least, I think you should apply. Also, congratulations on having a baby in the first place. It is very courageous and shows your true courage. Going to harvard can be tough with a child, or any college, I guess, but you seem very perserverant, and at the very least, I hope you can pull it off</p>

<p>Look the argument here is not about whether or not I have better ECs than you do… (I’m pretty sure I do… )</p>

<p>You can’t expect colleges would look past the pregnancy… It’s not cancer, a person with cancer doesn’t ask for cancer… And while you didn’t ask to get knocked up… You did… Don’t you think that may look foolish to colleges? Especially with your attitude towards this whole situation. </p>

<p>For the first 4 months of the school year I missed a few days every week for blood tests and doctor visits because the doctors were concerned I had cancer… I’m so fortunate that they were unable to find anything… On top of that I was able to be involved in many ECs/sports and maintain straight A’s… </p>

<p>This isn’t about me though. You need to think about yourself, and more importantly that you’re going to be a MOTHER.</p>

<p>Also, good luck!</p>

<p>impromptu: finally, someone who understands the implications of my situation! I’m also looking at Penn, JHU, Notre Dame, Northwestern, CMU, and Michigan. And uh, about that…I haven’t exactly told him yet, but I have a feeling he’ll be supportive, and even if he’s not I know he’s legally obligated to finance his child.</p>

<p>No, he probably won’t want his future ruined too. He’ll probably suggest what I did.</p>

<p>If you and the guy choose to go the route of parenthood, then that certainly brings a lot of responsibilities. I don’t envy you your position. It doesn’t mean that you automatically have to give up all of your dreams. So do throw in that application to Harvard, but also consider for your matches schools that have more support for parents-- I know some of the women’s colleges are known for that. And good luck!</p>

<p>you don’t have better ECs than me. that was the abridged version. and to everyone who is providing supportive remarks: thank you very much; I really believe in my ability to pull it off. fortunately, I come from a relatively wealthy background, so money itself isn’t a huge issue, which will undoubtedly be useful in my situation.</p>

<p>Eli: there’s no way he’ll suggest that. He’s a devout Catholic like myself.</p>

<p>Can the father even support the child? If he is a high schooler himself, you may be out of luck. Or a college student. Or if he wants to go to college. He won’t get a break for being a dad, either if he is applying to Harvard.</p>

<p>Worried:</p>

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<p>Yes, this yields a crap shot. You sounds like a great student but the application proccess is KILLER. I don’t mean to be harsh but you are severly overestimating yourself. I was a stronger applicant than you, based on this information, and didn’t get into Rice or Cornell, no less Princeton or Stanford. Admission at these schools is EXTREMELY tough. Again, you are a solid applicant, but it’s absoultely a crap shot. Unhooked, your admission chance with this profile is probably 2%.</p>

<p>Should you still apply? Probably. It’s a dream school. You gotta try to have a chance. But do not put all your eggs in one basket and fall in love with this school- you’ll be severly limiting yourself in terms of education, and you’ll be devestated when if/when you get bad news.</p>

<p>The other thing you must consider, should you get into Harvard or any top tier school, is the level of rigor of the classes at these schools. Schools like Harvard push students to their tipping points and to the brink of sanity just by sheer workload- to take care of a child on top of this would be extremely difficult and really not fair to the child, in my opinion.</p>

<p>Your attitude about a CC is pretty repulsive. CC’s aren’t where the scum of the earth go. My good friend spend a year and a summer at a CC before he went to Georgia Tech for engineering, one of the best engineering schools in the nation. What did he get? A bunch of realllly cheap transferrable credits and still a solid education. He had the luxury of staying at home to work a job to get money. He was a qualified applicant year at the end of his HS junior year, and just as qualified 2 years later going into GT. Anyways, point is, CC’s are an incredible way to save money while getting a college education and be able to take care of things that should be higher priorities, wether it be parents, money, or a child.</p>

<p>Point being, you should set your sights lower. You can always transfer up a level later, no matter where you end up. Being near home and being able to focus on your child should be your priorities at this point in life, not going to Harvard.</p>

<p>I’m not sure he’s Harvard-material, but I know his parents are pretty well-off. And again, I’m not dirt-poor.</p>

<p>If you people really need me to elaborate, I’m also a section editor of my school’s newspaper, play violin in symphony orchestra, have gone on several mission trips in Mexico, am doing research at a local uni this summer, and will undoubtedly write great essays/get great recs.</p>

<p>@worried are you saying you can’t be a Catholic and be pro choice? That in itself is ignorant… I’m pro life btw, but I value others opinions, and I would not so quick to make assumptions.</p>

<p>Compared to the rest of the Harvard applicant pool your ECs ARE weak. If that was the ‘abridged’ version why don’t you PM me and we can settle this away from this thread. If you feel it needs to come to that, I have no problem showing you off. It doesn’t need to be done on this thread though, and it’s obvious you’re just going to keep telling me that you didn’t make a full list and what not.</p>

<p>Worriedkid, Harvard prides itself in looking at the app in terms of who are truly the cream of the crop academically. So your motherhood won’t likely be an issue.</p>

<p>Do bear in mind though that with college applications, the people who are reviewing your application are humans with their own opinions of what is considered a good candidate and that admissions directors have a lot of latitude in determining who they accept. That you will not need financial aid will be helpful at those selective schools that are not need blind. But there will be those who will look askance at what happened here and may not be interested in accepting a student who is already a mother in high school. I don’t know if this is even something that is asked on the app and it may not be something to reveal as it is not going to help you and can hurt you in the application process. If you need financial aid, it would come out, but otherwise it isn’t a line item on college applications.</p>