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<p>Your first post really said it best. You’re here to ask if having a child will interfere with your childhood dreams. That’s not the right attitude, if you care about this child at all.</p>
<p>I don’t care how much like a daughter you are. A baby is a lot of work and responsibility. The gravity of the situation seems to escape you. My very close friend went through this with her son, and the news certainly contributed to her husband’s heart attack. They do love their grandson and their son very much and bear the mom no ill will but they truly are sad that this happened. And yes, both sets of parents have ended up getting involved. </p>
<p>And yes, the college plans did take downsizing. The mom, who was a senior in high school, chose to stay local and has finally gotten her degree. The dad, my friend’s son stayed local as well. It is a sore spot for the family though they have made the best of the situation. Believe me, in most families, this is truly a travesty, though we do move on. I would be quite upset if I got such news. A baby takes a lot of time and attention and money. Your main focus will no longer be yourself and college plans when this baby arrives. As a mom of a number of kids, that I can assure you, if you are going to care for this baby yourself. Getting child care is very difficult even when you are financially independent. Someone is going to have to care for this baby while you are at school, and pay for its needs. If you are both students, that means the parents have to ante up and that is not something most parents plan on doing.</p>
<p>I wish you luck in the next year. I think you’re going to have your hand full. Harvard is the least of your concerns.</p>
<p>Should I give it up for adoption then if it will really compromise that much?</p>
<p>*He and his family have even stricter, traditional Christian beliefs than mine. *</p>
<p>So strict a Christian that he engaged in premarital sex and has fathered a child. Don’t you get it? You are no longer a darling little girl. You are a mom-to-be, well ahead of schedule. </p>
<p>You would sooo impress us if you said, “I am putting off my elaborate personal dreams to focus on this child’s needs. I will manage college later. I have made choices that interrupted my plans. I understand.”</p>
<p>Instead, arguments. Christian humility? If you are not a ■■■■■, I do wish you the best. Believe us: parenting is hard. It is an incredibly important job. We are fighting with you because we give an “s” about what happens to the “surprise” children.</p>
<p>Yes. Good idea. Though pregnancy itself will wreak hell on your high school career…</p>
<p>^ you don’t know that.</p>
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<p>Unless you go to Roxbury Latin (which is all-male), Boston Latin, Choate, Exeter or Andover, your school adds nothing to your Harvard application.</p>
<p>Your pregnancy, on the other hand, does.</p>
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<p>If you don’t feel you are ready for parenthood, then absolutely I think adoption would be a better choice than grudgingly keeping it. Let an older couple that dearly wants a child raise it. But you say that both of your families are strict Christians-- would they be okay with adoption?</p>
<p>Plenty of people have trouble getting into Harvard with perfect SAT scores, legacy, and first place awards in international competitions. Getting into Harvard while simultaneously taking care of a baby is a great feat. </p>
<p>Running as captain of cross country next year will be more difficult than you’d imagine, even at 4 months pregnant. Your ability to keep up with school and EC’s will suffer greatly after the baby is born, if you choose to go that route. At some point within the next month you would need to consider whether having a parent at Harvard undergrad, or any four-year university with on-campus residence is feasible. You’ll need to bring him/her to elementary school / preschool, provide food, buy clothes, and be available around the clock in case of a medical emergency. I think you’ll find that honestly, living on-campus (or in an apartment) away from your parents isn’t possible with a kid, especially one as rigorous as Harvard.</p>
<p>Writing about a baby sister shows redeeming qualities in a redeeming context. Discussing your own experiences with pregnancy will show a lack of prior judgment, despite any redeeming qualities you could construe. The reality of the situation is that single mothers often end up dropping out of school and not finishing college to provide for their children. This perceived risk may work against you at Harvard or any other elite institution at which you seek admission. </p>
<p>While the yearning for Harvard is commonplace, try to figure out your real motivations for wanting to attend Harvard. Is it parental pressure? High expectations from adults and peers? Legacy? Narcissism? Childhood dreams can often be quite fickle and arbitrary, no matter how strongly your feelings were at the time. Don’t discount community colleges immediately. I took classes at a community college while in high school, and although they weren’t difficult, they weren’t exactly what I had expected. Community colleges have catered to countless individuals in ‘extraordinary’ circumstances and given them the tools to succeed. </p>
<p>My advice as of now? Tell your parents. Any professional counseling will likely tell you the same. Your parents WILL figure out sometime (perhaps sooner rather than later) and if you don’t break the news, your parents will likely have trouble trusting you in the future. Sure, you won’t get a favorable reaction, but at this point in the pregnancy you still have the most options. Only they will be able to gauge how they can / want to help you with your baby or perhaps push you towards another option.</p>
<p>An prompt abortion would put this issue behind you and certainly help your chances at Harvard or getting an undergraduate degree, period. You may think that you can beat the odds, but “normal” people attending an elite institution try hard and struggle as it is. Another thing to consider is your boyfriend’s (?) opinion. He’s likely just as scared as you are, and having the baby due to your own irresponsible moral compass will affect him economically. Things won’t be easy for either of you if you decide to keep the kid. Furthermore, is raising a child without a true father something you want to subject them to? At this point, you can put all of this behind you and continue with your dreams unabated, but it won’t remain that way for very long…</p>
<p>Yes I do. Good luck getting good recommendations. Good luck getting good grades folliwing your absence from bedrest or possible surgeries. Good luck getting recruited for cross country, good luck becoming cross country captain again. Good luck being elected to anything. You’ll be a devout christian who’s pregnant. Sounds like you don’t realize that you’ll be a total outsider and a has-been.</p>
<p>look im currently in grade 8, i sighed up to this sight becuase i really care about my future. im currently learning gr11 science and math. of course if your not atheist you’d wont want to have an abortion. i beleive its evil. if you really care about your baby don’t go to harvard. try some other college/university that will sute you.
its your own foalt, your going to have to pay the price</p>
<p>BTW: WOW, your only 16 and your pregnant, what were you doing. ist it illegal to do it at that age. like i said it was your bad discusion. its going to cost you plenty.</p>
<p>WK725, you need to talk to the baby’s father and your parents about that decision. Only you and your family can make the decision whether adoption is best. Reality is that Harvard is extremely unlikely without a baby in the mix, and would be almost impossible with one. You need to consider all your choices. If you do choose to give your baby up for adoption, one thing to be aware of is that most adoptions today are “open” – you can help choose the parents for your baby, and may be able to have some contact after the adoption. That doesn’t mean it isn’t heart wrenching to give your baby to someone else to raise. But you need to start considering what is best for the baby – if you can’t see dialing back your own commitments at this time, you should seriously consider adoption.</p>
<p>You are absolutely ridiculous… </p>
<p>Should I give up my baby so that I may still get into Harvard? Do you realize kids with perfect SAT scores that have been focused their WHOLE life on this school, don’t get accepted??
You’re willing to sacrifice a child for an under 10% statistic?
Just because you think your high school career isn’t going to suffer just wait until you become 6 months pregnant, or until you start having morning sickness, and even when you have your kid. Your grades are likely to suffer.</p>
<p>You absolutely need to focus on what matters the most, the options for your baby. Are you seriously thinking you won’t regret giving up your baby for adoption when you read a negative decision letter?</p>
<p>NEWS FLASH (Paris): There are other top schools aside from Harvard I’d like to attend. Among them are top public unis (in-state) and schools at which I have legacy status. As I mentioned earlier, Harvard itself, although a passioned goal, is not by any means THE be-all, end-all.</p>
<p>impromptu: that’s what I’m wondering. Would adoption be viewed in the same light as abortion would?</p>
<p>Wooo it’s about time you figure that one out…</p>
<p>Worriedkid, what you decide to do with the child and pregnancy is something that needs to be resolved after discussion with the father of the child and both sets of parents since you are still a minor. That is a serious decision to make, and I wish all of you luck in coming to the right decision for the child. Personally, with so many couples who are well able to care for a baby and wanting one on the adoption lists, I would consider that route seriously. I would rather give up one of my children to people who can better give it the care, time, attention than I could especially if I were still a child myself with many things on my priority list hat do not include a baby. As Solomon showed, it takes a true mother to give up her child. But that is a whole other discussion.</p>
<p>Intparent is absolutely spot on with his/her post. I agree 100%. You are venturing into unknown territory for yourself and it is really tough going. It isn’t all about you anymore either.</p>
<p>As for planning for top school, by all means, do what you can to keep your academics up there and do not shut out possibilities of top schools. You will have another person, possibly other people to take into consideration, but you do want to keep all options open. Doing well in high school is still going to be important, and taking difficult courses, doing well in them will only widen your opportunities. </p>
<p>Really, if you knew what your chances are now with your situation , you would not be posting here. The remarks give you a good indication how your situation is likely going to be viewed by admissions folks and people in general. EVen those who will congratulate you and smile are not going to be so generous in how they consider you. It is a very big thing that you are expecting a baby at age 16, and not something well regarded in our society. Few people are going to be admiring you in the select college college circles. Those who aspire and succeed in that route manage to avoid getting into your predicament. Take a look around and see where most teen moms end up. By getting pregnant you put yourself in a certain type of company and it is not with elite college material. Not to say you are eliminating your chances, but you are not going to be well received, admired or given extra points for what happend. It is not a good thing in consideration with your plans. And yes, your parents are going to hurt, big time.</p>
<p>How do I even approach this topic with them?</p>
<p>adoption is going to be even MORE PAINFULL to your heart then abortion.
go to another university that sutes you, your baby, and your time.</p>
<p>maybe an online school</p>
<p>Oh god this thread is hilarious.</p>
<p>Worried, you need to watch some 16 & Pregnant, if you haven’t already. Babies are hell. </p>
<p>Actually, never mind . You might only think about how superior you are to those girls and how your life will never turn out that way.</p>
<p>If you think you’ll keep your rank at an incredibly rigorous school where the top 10 spots are guaranteed Ivy admits, you’re delusional. Who knows if your school will even let you stay.</p>
<p>I just really hope reality doesn’t hit you too hard.</p>