<p>lw- your D is very smart. ON CC it is all about academics real life smart is secondary. For example interacting with people seems to take a back seat. Understanding that your life is not measured by your SAT scores or where you went to college is unimaginable. The belief that if you did not graduate from an IVY your destined for failure is so laughable. I can only imagine the self esteem issues some of these kids have when they find out their boss went to Podunk University. They all want to be I bankers and other types of Wall Street guru’s. We have seen how smart they really are- didn’t we.
There are some wonderful, academically gifted people on CC but there are many that need some humility.</p>
<p>The summer after our daughter’s junior year, we visited approx 10 universitites. At most, we went on the scheduled tour. At a few of them, we had arranged scheduled meetings with an admissions advisor. This was very helpful for our daughter. They opened her eyes to some potential majors we would never have thought about. We drove around one university that was not having tours the day we were there, and my d “just didn’t like the look of it”. The formal tours were a much better experience for us.</p>
<p>Knowledgeable parents know what’s coming, and often start organizing and planning, sometimes before the child is ready. I did. All of a sudden in fall of senior year, my bright, reflective daughter voiced her preferences and observations she had been percolating for months. It fell together. It sounds like your daughter is in the “absorbing” stage. It’s a huge step!</p>
<p>Applying “undeclared” could be an advantage for her. As many have posted, often bright kids do need a year or two to find their major interest. I felt calmer knowing I’d done what you’re doing and was helping to get the facts all organized. Then when she was ready…decision was made and peace prevailed :)</p>
<p>It may not be enough to ask your D about distance from home. It can be very hard for students who have never lived away from home to know what it’s like.</p>
<p>Also look at your own finances and what you and your family feel are important. A student who is in college far from home may not be able to come home for Thanksgiving, Easter, and various important events for siblings and other relatives. It also may be difficult for parents to transport the student to school or for the family to all attend the student’s graduation and other special events.</p>
<p>Add to that the costs and stress that can be caused by flights that are canceled and delayed due to various problems, and having a kid who’s in school far away is something to consider a great deal.</p>
<p>In addition, it’s harder for students to visit schools before applying and after they’re accepted if the schools are far away. It also may be difficult to afford the freshmen orientations that many colleges schedule during the summer. </p>
<p>Some campuses do virtually empty for 3-day weekends, and that can be tough for students – especially freshmen – who can’t go home and don’t have friends to go home with.</p>
<p>Just one more comment and then I’m walking away from your two threads to join jym in the ignored section. OP, your comments about homeschooled students had nothing to do with this thread, but just to enlighten you, I encourage you to read this thread:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/home-schooling-college/614627-home-school-acceptances-class-2013-a.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/home-schooling-college/614627-home-school-acceptances-class-2013-a.html</a></p>
<p>“Seems OP doesn’t want to talk to me…”</p>
<p>Sorry Jym. Not the case at all. Thanks for the suggestions. Like I said, mom and I liked Rice quite a bit. Would have loved it if daughter had said “YES!, I want to go to school here!” And then I could be on to looking at finances and admissions already… ha, ha.</p>
<p>doame, thanks. So far, I can’t tell if I’m way behind or way ahead! 
Depends on who you ask I guess. I know I feel better already. Because I’ve started this process, we’ve gotten more information out of our daughter in the past two weeks than the past 6 months. Nothing like putting her on a campus to really get the gears moving.</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>Forgot to mention, my d kind of quickly decided she didn’t want to go far away. I threw out a few suggestions in far-off states and she’d just shake her head - no. OK…she wasn’t ready. We saw no reason to push. (But I admit I did try for a few weeks.)</p>
<p>I just noticed your daughter’s marching band expereince. Sounds like she really enjoys it. I’d look at schools with marching bands…they immediately form strong bonds and have fun - helpful for more introverted kids.</p>
<p>Highlandmom, sorry! I’m not ignoring anyone. But I’m not camped out at the computer either. I appreciate all the input I’ve received so far - really!</p>
<p>The home-schooled issue was off-topic, but like I’ve said, I have first hand experience (many years in fact) coaching home schoolers at the elite levels and I know what I know about them. Once they finally got past the denial stage and started to deal with some of their social issues, we started to get somewhere with their physical abilities as well…
Looked at your link, and while those acceptances show excellent academic achievement, they say nothing about the kid’s social abilities. That always seems to be at issue, but I think the parents of homeschoolers understand that and are making progress in developing their kid’s social skills. Nothing against home-schoolers at all. To each their own. But every single one I know has had some adjustment issues and has not fared well in group settings or when the spotlight shone on them. Again, that’s my first hand experience, so please don’t feel the need to tell me how wrong I am unless you know the same kids. YMMV however, and obviously it has. That’s great!</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>jym: I hope NCES is not regarded as a competitor — it’s a govt-sponsored site and it’s free. </p>
<p>LW: </p>
<p>The way a friend of mine laid it out for her very bright D was this: Family can pay for four years at a UC (approx $23,000 to $25,000 a year). If you want a private college, you need to get merit aid or loans to make up the difference. A complication for this family was that while their income was pretty modest, they held some real estate assets jointly with other family members (in addition to their principal home) and that took them out of the running for any non-merit financial aid. </p>
<p>The way it panned out: D accepted to UCBerkeley, UCLA, UCSan Diego (all she considered too big for fit) and also Bowdoin, Scripps (women’s college in CA, part of five-college consortium that includes Pomona and Harvey Mudd), Oberlin, Kenyon, and Denison. Her top choice was Bowdoin, but unfortunately, no merit money. Same with Scripps. Kenyon and Oberlin offered merit aid, but attending would have required loans as well. Denison offered generous merit aid and no loans and that’s the one she chose. Though it was not her initial first choice, she loves it there. </p>
<p>You may find it interesting to browse through the thread on “good schools with merit aid” — it’s the third one down from the top on the first page of the Parents Forum. The Financial Aid forum can also be helpful.</p>
<p>Doame, my daughter just had the same reaction. Shook her head at the idea of attending school states away. She said she would be more comfortable close to home, and that doesn’t surprise me at all. She’s never been real outgoing, and her car accident last fall really made her feel vulnerable. The move to the new school this year also opened her eyes to how difficult a new location can be for her. She handled it well, but she really had to work at it to keep a positive attitude. I think college will be much better though, since it’s not a “small town” where everyone grew up together. I’ve tried to explain to her that everyone she attends college with will be from somewhere else, so she will be normal there, not an outsider. </p>
<p>She said she liked it around here (south Texas) and wanted to stay. So it looks like the choices are narrowed down until she changes her mind. Like I said, Washington U. in St. Louis is the only one outside of the area she’s mentioned, and only because she’s been there many times before. </p>
<p>I’d love to see her march in college, as that has been a HUGE part of her life for the past 6 years. She really moved “up the ranks” in her old marching band quickly and took it VERY seriously. When we moved here, the program was a mess and she quickly got frustrated with it. I’ve encouraged her to stay with it, and hope she considers it in college. It’s the most socially involved I’ve ever seen her.</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>“once they finally got past the denial stage and started to deal with some of their social issues, we started to get somewhere with their physical abilities”</p>
<p>“But every single one I know has had some adjustment issues and has not fared well in group settings or when the spotlight shone on them”</p>
<p>Ouch–quite a dismissal. Our M definitely V.</p>
<p>This one looks pretty good…</p>
<p>[FinAid</a> | Calculators | Expected Family Contribution (EFC) and Financial Aid](<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Expected Family Contribution (EFC) Calculator - Finaid)</p>
<p>I’m not exactly an expert in EFC calculation, as what my parents figured would be ours (and bizzarely accurately, IIRC) was in the “possibly doable but a substantial stretch” category, we’re all pretty debt adverse, my dad is not big on paying large sums for school, I wanted to have more flexibility for grad/professional school, etc., so I focused on merit aid in my search and wond up with an undergraduate school that, barring any huge changes this summer (I [hopefully] graduate next year–that went by fast) will only cost my family around 22k for all 4 years (30k in reality, but I’m likely going to fund the last year out of my pocket, thanks to a job that will cover about that amount).</p>
<p>But my decisions won’t replicate what would work best for everyone–for better or worse, I wanted a midsized school, not a LAC (I went to a huge Texas high school–1200 in my graduating class–and didn’t want to attend a college smaller than my high school, which ruled out most LACs), I had one particularly picky requirement (offerings of a certain foreign language), though I applied broadly (4 schools in the Midwest, one in the Northeast, and 2 in the Mountain West), I really wanted to end up in the (non-CA, too expensive) West, etc. I made merit money my primary consideration throughout the process, followed by fit, for better or worse. Also, I applied the year before Sanford, Harvard, et al., started their more generous financial aid policies–had those policies been in existence when I applied, my application strategy might have been different (though I doubt I would have gotten in!).</p>
<p>Speaking of Stanford, here’s a link to their FA policy:
[The</a> Parent Contribution : Stanford University](<a href=“http://www.stanford.edu/dept/finaid/undergrad/how/parent.html]The”>http://www.stanford.edu/dept/finaid/undergrad/how/parent.html)</p>
<p>Good luck to you and your D. It’s an exhausting process, but it can have it fun points, too.</p>
<p>Oh, and I looked at (and liked) Rice back when I was applying, but ultimately decided I just didn’t want to stay in the area or deal with the drama of not getting in and/or not being able to afford it–though I’m sure there will be plenty of that next year, when I apply to grad school ;).</p>
<p>PlantMom, not sure why thats’ an “ouch.” Just my experience, that’s all. Glad yours was different. And I don’t see how that’s a “dismissal” when it’s my actual experience. Sorry.
Okay, let’s not get derailed on the home school issue. Take that fight somewhere else please. Obviously there are strong feelings about this one, and I would expect them on this forum. Fine. But it has nothing to do with this thread. </p>
<p>Psych, Thanks! I owe you a cup of coffee now…</p>
<p>Got more questions than I had when I started this process!!! ha, ha.</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>I just want to support this father and say that a kid with higher than 2100 SATs is really smart. That averages out to 700+ in each section.</p>
<p>College admissions committees put the SAT scores into context – they consider the student’s high school, socio-economic status, etc. It is quite possible that a 2100 scored by a student from a small high school in Texas is considered as impressive an achievement as a 2350 scored by a student from an affluent Boston suburb. </p>
<p>While this student isn’t interested in the Ivies or the top schools (and they might not be a good fit), there are plenty of students from rural or inner city schools who score 2100 on the SATs whom the Ivies would love to have, and would be quite impressed with.</p>
<p>You’ve gotten some great advice here, John. I would strongly urge you to run an online financial aid calculator to figure out how much you might get in financial aid and how much you are comfortable spending. Educate yourself about how colleges handle financial aid (merit vs. financial need, what gapping is, etc.). </p>
<p>Your daughter would probably love a small liberal arts college. I have a friend who went to Trinity and loved it. Rhodes, Hendrix, Davidson are other schools for her to look at seriously.</p>
<p>Good luck! Your daughter sounds like a great kid, and you are right to be proud of her.</p>
<p>fireandrain, thank you! That’s very kind of you, and I intend to do exactly what you suggest for our next step…</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>oops jazzymom-- sorry for the confusion. There was a link posted to a competitors website in an earlier post, but it has been removed. Your post reminded me to remind others, but I am sorry for the confusion with the govt site! I assume its ok, as it has been posted here before and is a great site!</p>
<p>OP-
Older s’s roommate was in Rice’s Marching band (The MOB). It is a very clever, funny group [Fedora:</a> Rice University’s Marching Owl Band (The MOB)](<a href=“http://mob.rice.edu/info/]Fedora:”>http://mob.rice.edu/info/)</p>
<p>I know I sound like a broken record, but Rice really, REALLY sounds like a great fit for your dau. It is a good thing though that she doesnt set her sites on any one school. Being open-minded is a good thing. </p>
<p>Dont know how far from TX she’s willing to venture, but my younger s had the same “warm weather” criteria when he looked. We looked at schools in CA, AZ, TN, NC, GA, FL, SC and he visited his bro at Rice (he decided he didnt want to work that hard, LOL). He also has friends at schools in KY (Centre). Lots of great choices. Be sure to ck out Rhodes and Elon too.</p>
<p>Oh, and look closely at Lyon College in Batesville, AR ([Lyon</a> College Home](<a href=“http://www.lyon.edu%5DLyon”>http://www.lyon.edu))! It might fit well–small, offers business, good liberal arts core, marching band (I think) great merit aid. To be honest, I still kind of regret not applying almost four years later. :)</p>
<p>Non-Texas schools to explore:
Guilford, Elon, Davison, Wake Forest, Vanderbilt, UNC (Chapel Hill, Asheville) Miami (FL), Emory, College of Charleston, the Claremont Colleges, USC (Calif and South Carolina) Centre, Tulane, Rhodes, Sewanee.</p>
<p>jym, the “MOB” sound just like her cup of tea. I’ll show her that for sure. She may change her mind.</p>
<p>psych, that’s a dizzying array of choices! Not sure where to begin. This is going to take some time…</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>Not sure if it’s been suggested yet, but UT Austin’s honor college, aka Plan II, would be another possibility to check out. I’d love to see my D1 consider it, but it’s a very tough admit, even more so for an OOS student. For in-state, the price is fantastic. </p>
<p>OP, here’s a quick 'n easy EFC calculator [FinAid</a> | Calculators | QuickEFC](<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Quick EFC - Finaid) Before you punch in your numbers, be forewarned that the number you see is for ONE year, NOT four. You’ll probably want to be sitting down when you see the result. :)</p>
<p>Okay, so I quickly run the numbers on the EFC, and I get about $15K as the result. What does that mean?</p>
<p>John.</p>