<p>Hi,
I need some advice on how to convince my parents to help me out of my current financial situation. To start, I am certainly not one of those students that feels entitled. Knowing that my parents made too much for me to qualify for financial aid and did not intend on helping with college costs, I had a plan for college starting at the age of 14. I worked full time summers, along with part time during the school year. I worked my butt off academically to ensure to I would get merit scholarships. At 16 I bought my first car myself and planned to use it to commute to college from home. I still had enough money left over to cover some tuition money as well as books, gas and some additional expenses. </p>
<p>I continued to work while in school and my plan worked out fine my for my freshman year of college, until my parents got divorced. They sold the house I grew up in, each purchasing new houses and I was told that I would need to find my own housing situation because neither intended to buy a house with an extra bedroom for me as I was "going to move out in the next few years anyway". This seriously put a damper on my college plan. I now needed to find an apartment, and a way to pay for food, utilities, books, you name it. I now find myself in serious financial hardship. I live with my boyfriend in a cheap apartment we rent, and with him being a recent college grad with serious loans we are struggling. The car I had broke down, which left me having to lease a car. The down payment and monthly payments have really cut into my savings fund that was intended for college/living expenses. I am struggling to even afford food, and when turning to my parents to help they "are sorry but can't afford to help". This is hard to believe when they each buy new luxury vehicles, my mother is putting a swimming pool in her new home, just took a vacation to Florida, both bought new furniture for their homes, etc. I am at a loss for what to do. I already work as many hours as I possibly can that can fit in my schedule. How can I get them to help, I have no other relatives (all grandparents are deceased, both parents only children so no aunts/uncles). As far as I can see they are my only hope. Thanks for your time.</p>
<p>I’m very sorry for your situation. Your parents are not going to support you. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Seriously, if you married your boyfriend, you’d likely qualify for financial aid because you’d be considered independent. While it’s not ideal for most people to rush into marriage, it may be right for you. You’re living with him anyway, so I assume that you get along. </p>
<p>Second of all, leasing a new car is crazy. You should be buying cheap used cars like Honda Civics or Toyota Corollas. Even those cars from the mid 90s that are well maintained (oil changes every 3K, tune ups every 15K) are still running strong. </p>
<p>This albatross is going to seriously hamper your finances for the foreseeable future.</p>
<p>No, they are NOT your “only hope”. YOU are. You need to become legally independent of your parents and therefore qualify for financial aid. Reconsider your priorities. Can you rent within walking distance to avoid the need for a car? How important is school compared to boyfriend?</p>
<p>As harsh as it may sound, your parents are not required to help you. </p>
<p>Have you asked for them to help with giving you the needed information for financial aid? Apply for all of the need based financial aid (grants/scholarships) that you can.</p>
<p>Apply for food stamps and/or go to food pantries until you graduate and can get a full time job.</p>
<p>Take the bare minimum number of credits required to keep the financial aid that you are awarded. This will allow you more time to work. It will take more time to graduate from college, but you will get there.</p>
<p>Thank you for your response. I’m not sure I want to rush into marriage due to financial reasons…that sounds like it could end horribly. We do get along, but I definitely do not want to be thinking about marriage or even engagement at the moment.</p>
<p>As far as the car is concerned, I actually did have a Honda Civic as my first car, the one that broke down. I did look into buying a used car but did not have enough money up front to buy at the time. I believe I got a good deal on my lease, I put $2500 down and pay $100 a month for a car that’s great on gas. The new car probably wasn’t the best decision but breaking down in the first car was quite a traumatic experience for me, I had a panic attack and definitely wanted the piece of mind to know that I shouldn’t have any issues with the new car.</p>
<p>I have filled out the FAFSA for financial aid, but my parent’s income is too high to receive any need based aid. My financial aid package is all merit scholarships. My school is in a city, so rent to live in the city goes up significantly. It was cheaper to rent 20 minutes outside of the city (also at the time I signed the lease, my 1st car had not yet broken down, so the expense to get another car was not factored in).</p>
<p>Talk to your career advisors at you’re uni and ask about options Other Than Loans. Where do you live? You may have to consider relocating so you can transfer to a more affordable college. Worst case scenario, realistically if all else fails college just may not be an option right now, you may havve to drop out and continue your studies when you’re able to better support yourself.</p>
<p>Sad to say many of us were in this position as young people. I vividly recall it myself. You may need to move to public transportation as cars are expensive with payments, insurance, gas, upkeep.<br>
You sound very responsible. I want to put a whisper in your ear about your parents actions. When you go through divorce it is a huge period of upheaval. It sounds like maybe they were even waiting for you to graduate HS so as to cause less drama. It is very very common that “rebuilding” your life/your self image takes over those first few years after divorce. You can see people EITHER trying to shake off their old image of themselves/remake themselves, make a home they feel safe and comfy in or thinking “s/he left me, why should I suffer, why should I have less because s/he left?” I know that the idea that they are both getting new furniture etc seems “wrong” to you but it might be tainted with years of bad feelings (I always hated that dining room set!/I’m not sleeping in THAT bed again!) or it might be just that the other partner took it.</p>
<p>And make sure your BF’s financial woes are not becoming yours. Splitting the rent and utilities makes sense (and is fair). Taking on more than your share of the expenses because he has student loans is short-sighted.</p>
<p>Agree that a sit-down with a dean or an advisor from your college’s financial aid office is in order. Yours won’t be the first case they’ve seen of a kid who needs to be untangled from the parents finances and perhaps they can help.</p>
<p>Thanks for the input everybody-I think I needed to vent more than anything. I will be scheduling an appointment to discuss the appropriate actions that need to be made with my financial advisor as soon as break is over.</p>
<p>Good to not consider marriage. Also do not consider boyfriend’s needs/wants above your own. Who knows where you both will be in a few years when you also have a college degree. Grad or professional school for you?? You may outgrow him.</p>
<p>You made your decisions to act as an adult- car/insurance/apartment/living with boyfriend. You can’t change back into child mode. You can’t change past decisions of yours or your parents. I somehow sense there were conflicts when you were in HS that led to your current lifestyle. You are not the only student with financial hardships- work with the system. College professionals are very aware of all sorts of finances and will help you do what you need to do. You may not like your options, but they will work. Your boyfriend faced financial decisions- he should respect you for the ones you will make in your best interest.</p>
<p>I think the suggestion of possibly transferring to a less expensive school or even a community college is a good one. Also living in a place that you can access public transportation versus having a car would save you a lot of money.</p>
<p>I really feel for you and hope you are able to find a solution and complete your schooling. My D’s bf is a great kid who has divorced parents that do not help him financially with college either and he is really struggling to try and get through school.</p>
<p>If you have been self-supporting, and can document that, consider this course of action:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Are your parents claiming you as a dependent on their tax returns? If so, I presume claiming abandonment would mean they would lose the tax deduction. I also presume that their income(s) make it difficult or impossible to claim such things as food stamps.</p>
<p>Mom2CollegeKids makes an excellent point if you attend a FAFSA only school. I would have the parent with the least gross wages complete the FAFSA, and state they are the parent you reside with or primary parent in your situation since you do not reside with any parent.</p>
<p>The OP may apply for SNAP (food stamps) since she does not reside with her parents. She DOES have to prove she works 20 hrs a week and is income eligible to get the food stamps. ALso, if she eats, cooks, or buys food with the boyfriend, his income counts towards the SNAP eligibility.</p>
<p>Sorry you are having to navigate without parent encouragement and support, but I tend to agree that your parents have been emotionally very torn with sorting out their divorce. Try to listen to Dave Ramsey, financial peace, daveramsey.com - written budget, make every dollar work. Having $2500 down for a car lease, you could have gotten something bought - at the end of your lease what would you have to pay to keep the car? Check out CarMaxx. Hope your financial aid office can help you come up with a feasible plan to stay in college. Good luck and God Bless.</p>
<p>My mom (who left her mom’s house at age 18-her parents are also divorced) declared herself independent and had her FA dramatically increase. That would definitely be an avenue I would look into, since you’re not living with either parent, and if there’s some sort of time gap involved I would agree with the idea of taking a semester off to work full time to get your head above water. Good luck!</p>
<p>The rules for being considered independent for financial aid purposes have changed since your mom was in school. It is no longer possible for students to be considered independent simply because they support themselves. Students must meet the federal definition of independent, which is done with a series of questions on the FAFSA. This student would most likely not be considered independent.</p>
<p>Does the divorce agreement say anything about who is supposed to pay for college? Often, this is included in the agreement. Not sure if that will help, but you could check.</p>