<p>DD is interested in EECS, with a secondary interest in business. When MIT deferred DD in the EA round, she responded well, and did and excellent job of firing out college applications. She has already been accepted at Cal Berkeley (regents candidate), Carnegie Mellon, UVA (Echols scholar), and Wash U (STL). Additionally, she still has MIT as well as 4 Ivy league applications outstanding until the 27th.</p>
<p>Once she has a final list of acceptances, I am asking her to keep an open mind and attend the Accepted Student's Day at her top 3 or 4 options so that she can make a more informed decision, then she can decide which one is the best fit for her to enroll.</p>
<p>This week she has announced that she has worked out her order of preferences in her head, and will not need to bother with the visits. (Patience is not her strong suit). I am trying to explain to her that I understand that she wants to be finished with this process, but that the visits are important because she may learn things during those visits that could significantly impact her initial assessment. However, she is a teenager and I am her father, so I am not sure that she is listening.</p>
<p>Does anyone have thoughts about the best way to work through this with DD, help her make the best decision?</p>
<p>She has done the college campus tours and admissions lecture at about half of them. The rest she is assessing via websites, comments from counselors and friends, and rankings.</p>
<p>The value or lack thereof of visits does tend to vary from student to student.</p>
<p>Instead of insisting on visits, perhaps you can get her to describe to you her criteria and decision process, which can help you determine if visits would actually make much difference for her, or if she is making assumptions about the schools that may not be accurate (whether or not verifying such assumptions requires a visit).</p>
<p>She’s already done far more than the vast majority of high school kids. </p>
<p>Honestly, as someone who used to volunteer for Admitted Students day at my U and residential college, they were pretty useless for those who were already proactive about finding information.</p>
<p>She’s done the tours and the research. I’d say that’s plenty. Jmo </p>
<p>UCBalumnus: That is what I did. With one exception, her top picks are schools where she had an opportunity to visit the school, take the campus tour, listen to the admissions staff explain the benefits of their school and actually meet some current students who she felt were a lot like her. All things that could definitely be impacted by visiting the other schools.</p>
<p>Visits are not necessarily important - it depends on the student. If your daughter tends to be more analytical/rational in her approach (likely from her intended major) – then she may prefer to make decisions based on hard “facts” rather than gut level impressions. If she tends toward introversion, the typical array of activities at an admitted student day might be a turnoff for her. A lot of students turn down perfectly good schools – or opt to attend schools that are not always the best for them – for some silly reasons based on impressions from visits that have little bearing on what the actual campus experience will be. </p>
<p>Your daughter already has lined up an impressive array of choices – it’s hard to see how she could go wrong with any of those schools. So it may be that it is far more important to look at the sort of information that is best found online – such as the specific course requirements and sequences for majors and course offerings – or postings to online blogs where some of the negatives of a particular school might be be more likely to be reported. At admitted students day the school is working very hard to paint a rosy picture – which can be very misleading. </p>
<p>I think you should be happy that she doesn’t feel the visits are needed at this point and that she has such wonderful choices. The main thing to do now is focus on finances – you might ask your daughter to share her preference list. If the financial end of the equation is important to you and her current list doesn’t seem to factor that in, that’s the place where it’s appropriate to offer your opinion, as the person who will be footing the bill. </p>
<p>I think that the visits are important because my impression is that in part, her assessment of these schools is based on comments that she has read or heard about certain schools that are inaccurate or stereotypes, or based on a sample of one person. </p>
<p>For example, before she visited Penn, she was not interested because of the location of the campus. Based on what she had read and heard, she thought she would not feel safe. Once she visited, she realized that it is safe and they moved up a lot on her list. </p>
<p>I am trying to help her make a decision based on reason and specifics, instead of internet hearsay. </p>
<p>Having said that, I also understand that none of the options are bad. </p>
<p>I would not have allowed my kids to attend a college they had never seen (I know it was common in the 1970’s-- my generation- but things have changed since then.) That said- you know your own kid. One of mine could literally flourish in the crack of a sidewalk- didn’t care about the look and feel of the campus, wasn’t concerned with the surrounding neighborhood. Didn’t want rural, and didn’t want small (attended a small HS) but otherwise- literally couldn’t have cared less. And one of mine was the opposite- cared about the food, cared about the student center or lack thereof, cared about the “vibe”, etc.</p>
<p>So you know your kid and her real life experiences. If she’s grown up on a farm in Nebraska, I think she needs to visit Columbia (for example) to actually see NYC and the campus. If she’s grown up in Chicago and takes public transportation everywhere, she probably needs to see Dartmouth. But if she gets into a bunch of places, she certainly doesn’t need to visit everything in the space of two weeks.</p>
<p>How about a compromise where she visits her top two picks?</p>
<p>If not, sounds like you have a very bright young lady who has made up her mind. She happens to be different from how you would do it (And I). Unless there is some factor you think she really hasn’t considered maybe you should call it done. </p>
<p>@Much2learn:
I would recommend that your daughter attend the admitted students program for her top-choice school only – anything more than that would take too much time/effort and probably just be more confusing. Many schools roll out the red carpet for prospective students at that time. Your daughter would probably be allowed to sit in on classes, talk to faculty and department chairs, watch student groups perform (a capella groups, musicals, plays), sleep in the dorms (assigned a student host), and meet other students who will end up at that school.</p>
<p>When I went through the college selection process, I was shocked at how much easier my choice was…after I attended the admitted students program at my top-choice school. It made my choice 100% clear. I met several people that ended up becoming lifelong friends.</p>
<p>The college admissions process can be an emotional roller-coaster ride. I think what you’re seeing is that your daughter is perhaps a little drained by all of it. I bet people are constantly asking her where she applied, where she has been accepted, and where she plans to matriculate. Answering such questions day in and day out can get rather tiresome. I don’t blame her for wanting to be done with it!</p>
<p>Hi - I agree with others about attending a college sight unseen - I wouldn’t feel comfortable given that situation with my own boys. As an example, S1 was accepted at one of his top choices (he’d applied sight-unseen) and we all were certain he’d attend. We then visited the campus on an accepted student day and within an hour, S1 told me “I can’t go here”. I was shocked! I realize it’s sample size of one but thought I’d share our experience. That said, no one knows your child the way you do. </p>
<p>It strikes me the OP has a very strong flower who is determined to grow where planted. I can’t see a bad choice on the list so why put obstacles in her way?</p>
<p>I’m in the camp where I would advise her visiting her first choice if she has not done so just for affirmation. After that as Erin’s Dad says if the campus culture doesn’t matter to her or if she’s already seen it one time, then what’s the point of visits. </p>
<p>My son was accepted to several colleges he had never seen. He was a junior in HS, and had seen college campuses informally, or spent a few weeks at at 2 for summer classes. I insisted we take a week and go, even thouugh we could only be at 1 admitted student days. He arranged meetings at the other 2. </p>
<p>Absolutely NO WAY would I let him go 6 months, wondering what the campus would be like, the kids, etc. I was paying full fee. If I bought him a sweater, he had to try it on. Choosing a college was a HUGE decision. I was willing to take a week off from work, rent a car in LA, and he had to do his part. </p>
<p>Trust me, once he got to first campus, he was interested. Second college, he asked to meet with a physics prof. Third campus was most enthusiastic. The director of admissions asked him to return a second day to sit in on more courses. Because of a real negative blimp at first college, he was open and curious. That week was extremely important.</p>
<p>As a college student now, I know that visits helped me out with my decisions A LOT. not so much single day acceptance days but things like overnight programs where you get a real idea of what goes on when there aren’t people facilitating events. If any of these schools have a program like that i would strongly encourage her to go because she will get a feel for what the kids are really like. </p>
<p>As far as accepted students day I could see why she wouldn’t want to go… To be honest they’re boring- I volunteer for every single one of them and no one, except maybe the coordinator is excited to be there. Maybe you could meet in the middle and suggest that she visit the school one last time, not necessarily for an accepted students day or even a tour but just to look around. In my state, at least in this area, many campuses are open to the public until a period of time, maybe you can stop by during that time, or set up a meeting with one of the teachers. Many times, there is a list of student helpers that send out emails try to get in contact with one of them via the admissions or recruitment offices</p>
<p>The problem with short visits is that you focus on a lot of superficial things – what the buildings look like, how the food is, whose room you are staying in – rather than things that ultimately matter more, like what the culture is, what a broad range of students is like. I think it’s much easier to get a real sense of the second kind of information from internet communities (and other sources) than from admitted students’ weekends. Lurking in online forums linked to the colleges (not their admissions departments) and “listening” to actual students talking among themselves was really important in my kids’ thinking about where they wanted to go to college.</p>
<p>That said, I know a number of kids whose minds were changed significantly by visiting two or three colleges to which they had been admitted.</p>
<p>I think you need to let go of the idea that there is one school that is “better” than all the rest. She’s got a great bunch of schools and she really can’t go wrong. If she’s already visited her top picks, I think she’s got all she needs to make a informed decision. If her top picks are ones she hasn’t visited, then a visit after admittance might make sense. I’d trust her. As i said, she really can’t go wrong. All these schools have the potential for a kid to have a fabulous college experience. A lot of it will be up to the kid, though.</p>
<p>I am also in the camp of at least visiting her top 4 choices even if she had seen them before. Kids grow a lot between the time they visit junior year/early senior year and the spring of senior year. </p>
<p>My daughter visited every school she applied to and spent most of senior year in the mind set that if she had to sell a major organ to get into her first choice if accepted that is where she was going. She loved the school, I loved the school, it was an affordable option, done deal. </p>
<p>Spring rolls around, she gets accepted everywhere she applied and when the admitted student days comes she calls me from another school that she felt she liked and placed at number 3 after her initial visit now saying that this her place, she has found her tribe.
Babbling I asked about the previous school; she still loves it but not as much as the one she decided to attend. I was the one crying at the mailbox as I dropped the card saying that she would not attend. </p>