<p>If money isn’t an issue, I would say to let her do as she pleases. There isn’t a bad choice in the bunch, and she may even have a few more equally good choices by the end of the month. She can’t go wrong, really. And when a kid can’t go wrong, there’s no need for a parent to interfere.</p>
<p>Besides, accepted students days are mostly hype. The only people who really benefit from them are the current students. They love accepted students days because the food suddenly improves.</p>
<p>My D visited 4 schools in the fall/early winter of her junior year. She said the visits did not help her distinguish among them. She refused to visit again senior year, even though we encouraged her to revisit the two schools she narrowed it down to. She picked one and is incredibly happy there, so she did fine without that senior year visit. I think if your D’s top choice is one she has not see yet, I’d encourage her to visit, although not necessarily for an accepted students day. But I wouldn’t fight the battle too hard. She has a lot of good choices - if she’s a kid who blooms where she’s planted, I don’t see how she goes wrong. </p>
<p>If she has already visited at least once and actually seen the school in person, then I would probably be fine with this. I would encourage her to go to admitted weekend for her first choice; if nothing else, she will meet people, get a taste of staying in the dorm, etc. </p>
<p>If it were completely site unseen, I would probably insist that she go. Like someone else said, I wouldn’t buy a shirt without trying it on, and this is something a lot more expensive than a shirt.</p>
<p>Congrats on her acceptances, and I hope that she gets into all the schools she is still waiting on! </p>
<p>I think you are wise to have your daughter pick the top 3/4 schools that she is interested in attending and re-vist. After ruling out the schools that we could not afford and those that he only applied as a safety, we re-visited two schools. He did an overnight at his top school and had a miserable time. He couldn’t wait to be picked up and leave the campus. The other school, he looked and felt very comfortable at during the re-visit day and is now attending there and happy. Had he not done the overnight, he would have probably been at the first school and he now would have been doing applications to transfer.</p>
<h1>Firstworldproblem 
Should your DD accept Awesome School 1, 2 , 3 or 4? I think academically she is okay with any choice.</h1>
<p>I think may be that I would insist that she visit her top choice just to confirm…that is what you really want to know…is there something that would make her regret her top choice. If she never goes to choice 2, she won’t know what she is missing.</p>
<p>She should visit/revisit her top choice, on her terms, whether that would be on admitted students day, or to go to a play, musical concert, or any other event that interests her. Have her bring a friend or two and hang out where the students hang out and people watch a bit. You wouldn’t buy a house you had only walked through once a long while ago, and you might even take two test drives before you buy a new car. Coming home with solid confidence will be priceless for you as a parent.</p>
<p>I have a bright, opinionated, and “I’ll do it my own way” kid as well. So in case it helps, here’s what I would do (and did).</p>
<p>I would say something like this: “The choice is yours, but the money is mine, and I’m not risking the possibility that you will make a choice you’ll regret in a few months. So we’re going to visit your top 2 or 3 choices before making the final decision. That’s the way it works.” (Smile.)</p>
<p>In my son’s case, the final visits were very valuable, and made clear to both of us where he should go and why. It has turned out to be a very good fit: he’s happy, he’s working hard (and having fun), and doing very well academically.</p>
<p>Sigh. What can I tell you? I forced my last two to visit schools that they had not yet visited, that offered great deals, were highly regarded schools, and yes, my first choices for them. So, I goose stepped them into visits, because, I wanted them to consider the schools, look at the first hand, that it was the VERY LEAST that they could do since DH and I were committing to pay $150 for their college education. So yes, I twisted their arms, forced the issues. </p>
<p>We spent exactly 45 minutes at the one kid’s college after a 4 1/2 hour dirve there (and another 4 1/2 hour drive home). Kid 2 had to suffer through a “welcome” program at an accepted students day, which was marvelous, and he did agree that the school was wonderful and he could see why we felt it was the best choice, but… he wanted what he wanted, and so he, as did his brother go off to their first choice schools. But at least we gave it a try.</p>
<p>I don’t know what we’d do now with our youngest if the same situations should arise as he is a “pleaser” whereas the other two had their own minds. I knew that it was highly unlikely that either of the older ones would change their minds just to please us, where as it is a distinct possibility with this youngest. That’s also an issue one has to take into consideration. How much to push. It is a powerful incentive to make things work out when the kid goes where he wants to go for college.</p>
<p>OP, you say your daughter has already visited the top schools on her list. If this is the case, I think I would be fine with letting my child go ahead without further visits. </p>
<p>I do think one visit is necessary, but she has already done this. And all of the choices are good, and it doesn’t sound like you personally had a problem with her top choice. </p>
<p>I think if the school is a good one, and there is no real reason why it wouldn’t work, students tend to bloom where they are planted, especially if they have made their mind up to like the school.</p>
<p>This is just my opinion. </p>
<p>OP here.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts. You have been very helpful. </p>
<p>DD and I have agreed that the current plan is that she will visit her top 2 choices (where she has been accepted): Cal Berkeley and Cornell (received Likely Letter this week), prior to making a final decision. </p>
<p>If she is accepted at any additional Ivies when those decisions are announced on the 27th, we will consider/discuss revising the plan to either add an additional visit or replace a visit to one of the current top choices. </p>
<p>Additionally, if she is not completely comfortable with her visits to her two top picks, she may also add visit Carnegie Mellon, or Michigan.</p>
<p>We both think this is a reasonable plan, and she is feeling very happy and fortunate to have these options. </p>
<p>Hopefully this issue is resolved, but please feel free to add any additional thoughts or comments you may have. They are always appreciated.</p>
<p>Much2learn</p>
<p>I wish your daughter great success, and you great happiness as you enjoy seeing her grow up and achieve wonderful things. In case this is your first, be prepared also for the wrench of separation. I miss my son every single day.</p>
<p>Your D is going to have great choices. (Is she accepted into CS at CMU?) Unlike many, I completely sympathize with your dislike of the fact that your D is apparently dismissing any school she has not yet visited, AND is being swayed by comments from perhaps only one random person.</p>
<p>What I would do is refuse to engage in efforts to rank her acceptances until they are all in. Tell her that she needs to keep her mind open until all of the acceptances and all of the FA offers are in hand. Then, and only then, can you and she rationally compare them. I would have no problem requiring that your D visit 2, or possibly 3, schools, especially if she is dismissing a school mostly because she has never seen it.</p>
<p>Cornell is, of course, a great university, but she should be aware that likely letters are largely marketing devices. She should not let that flattered feeling get in the way of choosing another school.</p>
<p>Both of my kids were helped by college visits but it is also important to respect her choices. I would tell her that you understand her preferences but that you still want to take a trip to her top couple of choices (especially if any are schools she has not visited) just so she can confirm her decision and go to college with no regrets or second thoughts. And congratulations, it doesn’t seem like she can make a bad decision with the choices she has.</p>
<p>Good to hear she is going to visit. Last year my D went to accepted student days at her top 3 choices. She really thought she knew her preferences going in (had done day visits to all of them previously), and could rank them 1/2/3 (and she thought 3 was a distant third…). And after 24 hours on each campus, she was very quiet for a few days. Then announced that she was attending #3. She is a freshman there now and deliriously happy. And she has said she thinks she dodged a bullet by not attending 1 & 2 (which are very highly ranked schools) – she feels strongly now that they would not have been the right place for her.</p>
<p>OP again.</p>
<p>Consolation: Yes, I believe it is CS at Carnegie Mellon. That is one school that I would like her to visit, but is currently behind Cal and Cornell in her mind, and she is resistant. I have not entirely written it off yet.</p>
<p>I understand what you are saying about planning before all of the results are in. My thought there was that by making a plan, she seems to have allowed herself to relax for the first time in a while. I can tell that she is happy with the options she has, and has finally stopped worrying about the upcoming announcements. If she is not accepted to any more schools, she will still be happy. If she is not accepted to any more, I may be able to convince her to add a CMU visit, but if she is accepted at either Penn or Columbia, she will want to add one of those.</p>
<p>I feel like it is a fine balance here between being too pushy, and making sure that she chooses a school for the right reasons. I distrust visceral feelings for decision making, and I am consistently asking her to articulate what exactly she means by “weird vibe” or similar phrases. </p>
<p>I will be glad when this is over!</p>
<p>Note that introductory CS courses at Berkeley, CMU, and Cornell (and other schools like Stanford and Harvard) will all be quite large, due to the current popularity of majoring in CS.</p>
<p>Has she considered other factors, like overall degree requirements for majoring in CS, including breadth requirements?</p>
<p>Much2learn when all is said and done let us know how it turns out!</p>
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<p>But that’s what kids end up with when visiting and comparing campuses. Parents are always telling stories of traveling great distances to get to a college campus, only to have their kid announce “I can’t go here, let’s go” just as they are pulling into the parking lot. So when you do those visits - you should be prepared for that. </p>
<p>I’m not trying to dissuade you from visiting – I just think that the whole point of the on-campus visit is that visceral, gut level impression. It may end up being about architecture and landscaping. </p>
<p>Do be prepared for the strong possibility that you and your daughter may have very different opinions as to what “the right reasons” are for picking a school.</p>
<p>Again – given the abundance of excellent options that your daughter has, there’s not much chance of making a bad or wrong choice. Do keep in mind that your daughter is the one who is going to be attending whatever college she chooses. (I’m thinking if you are trying to strike a balance with “too pushy” being on one side of the equation, that maybe you really do need to take a step back. If money isn’t an issue, let your daughter take the lead. If the finances are important, then be direct with your daughter and tell her where the lines are drawn.) </p>
<p>if your DD is accepted into SCS at CMU, that changes things. I think they accept less than 80 people into that program. The program has a lot of depth. Lots of opportunities for internships. The kids in sCS get their classes 1st, then classes open to others from other departments, e.g. School of engineering or science. I think these CS kids will get to know each other in an easier fashion than those who enter a large U, take a breadth of courses, and then narrow down their major.</p>
<p>Now is the time to do some homework. Look at the #courses offered at each U, how many end up majoring in that field, etc. See if there are 2 tracks for CS; within LS&A and in engineering. Try to find out size of classes and how difficult it is to get into a class.</p>
<p>ucbalumnus: I am not sure what you mean by breadth requirements? Breadth within CS or breadth of the overall degree?</p>
<p>Calmom: I understand what you are saying about visits being visceral. However, in the case of some schools she has a common stereotype in her mind that is not my experience. For example that Cal Berkeley students are hippies and go from protest to protest. She gets these silly ideas from comments people make. When she visited Berkeley she found out that it was not true at all. It is those types of views that I am trying to eliminate.</p>
<p>Your point is well taken though, at WUSTL, after being on campus one hour, she wanted to attend. I had to convince her that it was a great school but not a perfect fit for a student who is strong in CS, math, and finance.</p>
<p>bookworm: Those are good ideas: # of courses offered, class sizes, scheduling issues. I also want to know more about internship opportunities, and what types of jobs graduates end up in, and how hands on the classes are vs. just learning from a book, and how different the degree requirements are at the alternative schools. </p>