Wow, my older teen sounds very like yours. While I don’t have a boarding school rec, we got an Educational Therapist last year who has really helped. It’s not a tutor, they work with learning issues and how you cope, and what is holding you back. They work with you to add coping skills and study skills that fit your individual challenges.
Thank you! So you’ve been happy with it? I love the idea of a new school that isn’t struggling with redefining an “old past.”
How about Berkshire?
Checkout Walnut Hill School for the Arts. VERY LGBTQ and non-binary friendly! Fantastic school all the way around.
Walnut Hill is a boarding school. I really hope you will check it out. It really could be a great environment for your child.
The Pennington School in NJ also has a very highly regarded learning center, but I can’t speak to the environment.
I second NEIA. Many of the schools you are throwing out there are “traditional” boarding schools and the sensory issues will greatly interfere with the everyday happenings and expectations of schools that build community through sports and group gatherings. NEIA is smaller and more interest based.
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My oldest son had the similar issue, but we took care of it when he was little. Typically kids like this is very intelligent with high IQ, but low self esteem.
When he was born, the doctor said he had never seen an infant who could stare back at you. We had no idea how strange it was because we have never experienced with babies. His pediatrician later noticed that there was something wrong with his speech skill when he was one year old. We brushed it off since he was only one year old, and we did not see much difference with regular kids. Later we put him in the Montessori school. By the time he started this preschool, his developmental delay was palpable. His upper body strength was extremely weak and he could not hold a pencil or spoon firmly. He did not speak. He was always drooling and had to wear bibs. He was hyper sensitive to the surroundings. He could not walk barefoot on the grass. He was easily distracted, so the teacher arranged him to face a wall in the classroom.
One summer, when he was four, we finally went to the doctor to test him. It revealed that he was a borderline ADHD with a motor skill development delay. He recommended the treatment immediately. We listen to him. According to him, a lot of families with children like him self deny the problem, and believe the issue will disappear when they grow up. He said if kids are not treated before five years old, it becomes more difficult. We were one of the lucky parents to start this before he became five. We started the occupational therapy for about 9 months.
At the therapy sessions, they trained him catching balls while he was on the unstable platform. He used the scissors to cut objects. What made it the most difference was picking tiny plastic pallet size pegs to arrange and place on the tiny peg board. He repeated this many times. Two weeks later he started speaking. That was amazing. This finger exercise is actually stimulating the brain activities and improving the speech skill. We started the piano lesson for the finger exercise. We put him in Karate lessons. This he still trains up to this day.
Now he is a college student, and enjoying what he is studying. He is still very introverted, but he has a set of friends.
I understand your daughter’s issue. I think you should get the professional support to deal with the issue. In our case, training at the occupational therapy helped greatly, but the doctor may have some recommendations for you to take an action rather than the boarding school.
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Marvelwood might be a really good match. Small, supportive, inclusive. Much more “room” to be who they are. Very individualized, so can probably match academics to “spikey” cognitive profile. Good track record with LGBTQ+ population.
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The similarities here are amazing. We did ALL of those things too - OT, karate, plus swimming, gymnastics, etc. Sensory issues were dismissed by all teachers and professionals until age 7. We had an indoor swing installed for sensory input because spinning made them calmer and more regulated. You name it. We did it. I remember asking their kindergarten teacher - could she have sensory processing disorder and the teacher thought I was nuts. When they saw a developmental pediatrician at age 7 (at my continued insistence after being on a wait list for a year!) the developmental pediatrician said she had one of the most extreme sensory issues she’s seen in 30 years (plus hypotonia like it sounds like your son had). The consistent explanation of why it wasn’t discovered earlier is 1) my kid was in half day kindergarten and each afternoon was spent swimming, gymnastics etc that was probably helping their need for sensory input. 2) my two older boys were viewed as “very smart and very easy” and that I just couldn’t handle "a difficult girl’ (such BS). The sensory issues then developed into anxiety (they were never sure what sensory overload might be around the next corner). The public schools could not/would not accommodate their issues (fought us on things like noise cancelling headphones in the cafeteria). So they ARE doing much better. They can tolerate noise in some circumstances (they love the power tools in set design and construction in theater) but they will never enjoy watching a spirited high school basketball game. Ever. So we have sought out and done all the things that you suggested and more. I appreciate the suggestions but we’ve done it! Now I’m looking for the optimal educational opportunity for my kid where they can thrive and grow. They are doing fine at their current 8th grade boarding school. I just think that there are more opportunities for 9-12 and that we can find a better fit. I want a school that respects their pronouns, has some quirky kids, has lots of opportunities for visual art, isn’t overly strict (comes from a place of yes - how do we accommodate this kid instead of “we don’t do that here”), doesn’t lead with athletics (exercise good, team sports not so much). If I’m willing to look anywhere in the country, it seems like I should be able to find a great fit somewhere! As mentioned before, boarding school is the only option because there are no schools within a 60 minute radius of
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of where we live. CC cut me off.
Sports being deemphasized will take out a lot of schools. I don’t know much about it, but have a look at Oakwood Friends School in Poughkeepsie. Sports definitely take a backseat, and I believe they are LGBTQ friendly. How they do with ADHD, theater and high academics, I don’t know.
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Sorry to hear that you don’t have a school within 60 mile radius to accommodate your child. I am lucky we are in the school
district that is very accommodating, especially at their high school. Our high school has top drama and set design program and very balanced between academic and well-being of each child, especially LBGTQ children. Unfortunately it is a public school, otherwise I would wholeheartedly recommend our high school.
That’s great for your family though. Where do you live generally?
It looks great. I don’t think my kid has enough of a porfolio to submit for submission to visual arts. They’ve taken plenty of art classes and are always drawing something but I don’t think it’s enough for a formal portfolio? Part of what they enjoy is also set design and construction. How many pieces would be required do you think?
Can you tell me about your experience (however limited it might be) with NEIA? Which of the schools being thrown out there would you consider to be the LEAST traditional? (Besides NEIA). You are exactly right that the community building with sports and group gatherings cause sensory issues. However, my kid is doing well academically (needs homework support and help meeting room checks) and really enjoys participating in art class and set construction and design.
Of those mentioned on this thread:
Least “traditional” in terms of sportiness, I would say Putney, Marvelwood, NEIA, Walnut Hill, Cambridge School of Weston in the first tier of no or very few kids participating in sports, followed by Dublin,Wasatch and White Mountain where kids tend to participate in sports that are more individual than team sports (skiing, sailing, equestrian, etc) . Not necessarily in any order and not necessarily based on support. I think a LGBTQ+ kid would be comfortable at any of these schools (not sure about Wasatch, but just because it’s the one I’m least familiar with).
Most sporty: Millbrook and Gunn. Very traditional.
Experience with NEIA: Many of the families from DS elementary/middle school have decided to enroll in NEIA for middle/high school. They are coming from a very progressive Montessori school. NEIA is close to my house, I know people on the board and have neighbors that are teaching there, so I’ve watched the school with interest for a while. The families/faculty I know that are there are committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (not just the buzzwords, but have done a lot of work in the field). Your child sounds like they would have been a good fit for DS elementary/middle school, so I’m assuming will have classmates there that would appreciate their neurodivergence as well as their gender identity.
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This is incredibly helpful. Thank you so much.
The particulars of what is required for a visual art portfolio would be on the website. I don’t know much about vMy daughter is a senior theater major and was accepted as a freshman with very little Experience.
We live in Southern California.