Reduce my essay by 100 words and Ill give you a pie.

Applying to College
1

HELP ME REDUCE MY ESSAY BY ABOUT 100 WORDS!!!

Okay, ill stop yelling. I aiming for about 600 words, right now it’s 700. The recommended word limit for the essay is 500, but even now, it’s still only a page 12 font Times New Roman font. Thanks for the help guys.

(I just want to know what parts of my story arent necessary). Here it is:

__________Tight corner ahead. I lean left and apply the brakes just enough to make the turn. My friends, beside me, pedal furiously in an attempt to reach the bottom first. I know I can beat them. I pedal harder, but suddenly, I find myself unable to move. I look down, expecting to see my bike, but instead, I find a green stretcher. My head is caked in blood; my legs are covered in cuts and bruises. “You’re really lucky to be alive.” The words of the paramedic to my right.

__________What happened? Did I crash? An hour later, I got my answer. I had received a severe concussion, which explained the sudden jump in my memory. Apparently, my friends and I had decided to go rock climbing later that day. During the climb I slipped, leaving me to fall fifteen feet and roll thirty more down the side of the mountain. Fortunately, my plunge was broken when my body smashed into a stump. I’ve always been lucky like that. Unfortunately, because of my concussion, a neurosurgeon said I would suffer memory loss for the next nine months.

__________Most of my peers thought I was pretty lucky to get off with nothing more than a few cuts and a “bumped head,” but as a junior only a week into the school year, I felt anything but fortunate. My amnesia was so bad that I couldn’t even remember going to school the first week. I had trouble remembering what class I was in, or who my teachers were. At home, I couldn’t even recall where the dinner plates were kept. But I was determined to regain control over my life. I wouldn’t blindly accept the surgeon’s prognosis; I would turn it into a challenge. I vowed to regain my memory not in nine months, but in a mere three.

___________Of course, how to achieve this was an entirely different matter. How does one recall one’s memory? A seemingly paradoxical question. So, like any self-respecting nerd in times of trouble, I turned to math. My solution: a hobby taken up by geeks since the beginning of time. I would memorize the digits of pi.

___________At first, the going was relentlessly slow. I spent hours attempting to remember a cluster of just ten digits. 3.141592…nothing. My mind was blank. I would try again. Still nothing. For the moment, it seemed as if the surgeon might be right.

___________But my own doubt made me try even harder. Every second of my free time was devoted to pi. I stayed up late into the night, slowly reiterating the numbers that appeared on my electronic organizer. But the sleep deprivation was worth it. Within a few weeks’ time, I noticed a slight improvement. I could now memorize ten digits in single sitting, not phenomenal by any means, but a sure sign of progress. Bolstered by my meager success, I persisted in my routine. Weeks flew by. By the end of the first month, I had reached the 100-digit mark. I could sense my memory slowly returning. In school, I was less hesitant to ask a question, fearful that it had already been answered. I actually remembered all of my teachers’ names. I went even further. 200 digits. 300. No longer did I have to mutter things to myself to remember them. More importantly, though, I no longer forgot where the dinner plates were kept. I was on top of the world, and just in time. The three months were up.

___________I continued my memorization of pi for several more months. However, like most good things, excess breeds tedium. Somehow, when one knows 600+ digits of a number, one tends to lose interest in pursuing the number further. Simply put, I became bored with pi after memorizing 631 digits. But I know that memorizing pi has had a significant influence on my life, one that reaches beyond the regurgitation of a sequence of numbers. If nothing else, it has taught me that with enough time and effort, even a simple number can heal a battered brain."

2

<p>Wow is this really true? [ ] denote parts that you don't really need. { } is used for comments, and ( ) for parts were I edited it. Overall I like it a lot, if only because it's an essay about pi. Good luck! Hope this helps.</p>

<p>__________Tight corner ahead. I lean left and apply the brakes just enough to make the turn. My friends, beside me, pedal furiously in an attempt to reach the bottom first. [I know I can beat them.] I pedal harder, but suddenly, I find myself unable to move. I look down, expecting to see my bike, but instead, I find a green stretcher. My head is caked in blood; my legs are covered in cuts and bruises. (“You’re really lucky to be alive,” a paramedic to my right informs me.)</p>

<p>{ Huh? how does this connect to the next paragraph? I liked the paragraph until it seemed to have no connection with the next... I expected that you'd been injured </p>

<p>__________<a href="An%20hour%20later,%20I%20was%20told%20that%20I%20had%20a%20severe%20concussion,">What happened? Did I crash?</a> which explained the sudden jump in my memory. (While rock climbing with my friends earlier in the day) I slipped, (falling fifteen feet and rolling thirty more) down the side of the mountain. Fortunately, my plunge was broken when my body smashed into a stump. [I’ve always been lucky like that.] Unfortunately, because of my concussion, a neurosurgeon said I would suffer memory loss for the next nine months.</p>

<p>__________Most of my peers thought I was pretty lucky to get off with nothing more than a few cuts and a “bumped head,” but as a junior only a week into the school year, I felt anything but fortunate. [My amnesia was so bad that] I couldn’t even remember going to school the first week. I had trouble remembering what class I was in, or who my teachers were. At home, I couldn’t even recall where the dinner plates were kept. But I was determined to regain control over my life. I wouldn’t blindly accept the surgeon’s prognosis; I would turn it into a challenge. I vowed to regain my memory not in nine months, but in a mere three.</p>

<p>{I like this paragraph!}</p>

<p>___________( Like any self-respecting nerd in times of trouble, I turned to math to help me regain my memory. My solution: I would memorize the digits of pi.)</p>

<p>___________At first, the going was relentlessly slow. I spent hours attempting to remember a cluster of just ten digits. 3.141592…nothing. My mind was blank. (I tried again.) Still nothing. For the moment, it seemed as if the surgeon might be right. </p>

<p>___________But my own doubt made me try even harder. Every second of my free time was devoted to pi. I stayed up late into the night, slowly reiterating the numbers that appeared on my electronic organizer. The sleep deprivation was worth it. Within a few weeks’ time, I noticed a slight improvement. I could now memorize ten digits in single sitting, not phenomenal by any means, but a sure sign of progress. [Bolstered by my meager success, I persisted in my routine. Weeks flew by.] By the end of the first month, I had reached the 100-digit mark. I could sense my memory slowly returning. In school, I was less hesitant to ask a question, fearful that it had already been answered. I actually remembered all of my teachers’ names. [I went even further.] 200 digits. 300. No longer did I have to mutter things to myself to remember them. More importantly, though, I no longer forgot where the dinner plates were kept. I was on top of the world, and just in time. The three months were up.</p>

<p>___________[I continued my memorization of pi for several more months. However, like most good things, excess breeds tedium. Somehow, when one knows 600+ digits of a number, one tends to lose interest in pursuing the number further. Simply put, I became bored with pi after memorizing 631 digits. But I know that] memorizing pi has had a significant influence on my life, one that reaches beyond the regurgitation of a sequence of numbers. If nothing else, it has taught me that with enough time and effort, even a simple number can heal a battered brain."</p>

3

<p>Actually, i loved the sentence "I've always been lucky like that." I actually laughed out loud. I really liked it, though!</p>

4

<p>here's your pie. MMMMMM, tastes good, huh?</p>

<p>Anyone else. Do you agree with the above poster or disagree? Don't forget, Ill give you a pie if you heart is true and your comments wise</p>

5

<p>I'd have to say I agree with your cut of the last paragraph. It seemed like I was just trying to find one more thing to say. thanks a lot marlgirl for the excellent comments. Here's another pie. :-)</p>

6

<p>That essay on top is an old version. Sorry. Anyway, can someone reduce this version by 50 words? Thanks. Here, have a pie.</p>

<p>_<strong><em>Tight corner ahead. I lean left and apply the brakes just enough to make the turn. My friends, beside me, pedal furiously in an attempt to reach the bottom first. I pedal harder, but suddenly, I find myself unable to move. I look down, expecting to see my bike. In its place, I find a green stretcher. My legs are covered in cuts and bruises; my head is caked in blood. “You’re really lucky to be alive,” a paramedic to my right informs me.
_</em></strong><strong><em>What happened? Did I crash? An hour later, I got my answer. I had received a severe concussion, which explained the sudden jump in my memory. Apparently, my friends and I decided to go rock climbing upon reaching the bottom of the mountain (I’m told I lost the race down). During the climb I slipped, leaving me to fall fifteen feet and roll thirty more down the side of the mountain. Fortunately, my plunge was broken when my body smashed into a stump. I’ve always been lucky like that. Unfortunately, the neurosurgeon told me, I would suffer memory loss for the next nine months.
_</em></strong><strong><em>My peers thought I was pretty lucky to get off with nothing more than a few cuts and a “bumped head,” but as a junior only a week into the school year, I felt anything but fortunate. I constantly forgot what class I was in. I couldn’t remember my teachers’ names. Even worse, I was horrified one night to learn that I didn’t even remember where the dinner plates were kept. I needed to regain control over my life. How? By turning the doctor’s prognosis into a challenge. I vowed to regain my memory not in nine months, but in a mere three.
_</em></strong><strong><em>Of course, how to achieve this was an entirely different matter. How does one recall one’s memory? A seemingly paradoxical question. So, like any self-respecting nerd in times of trouble, I turned to math. My solution: a hobby taken up by geeks since the Big Bang itself. I would memorize the digits of pi.
_</em></strong><strong><em>At first, the going was agonizingly slow. I spent hours attempting to remember a cluster of just ten digits. Three-point-one-four-one-five-nine-two…nothing. My mind went blank. I tried again. Still nothing. For the moment, it seemed as if the doctor would be right after all.<br>
But my own doubt made me try even harder. Every second of my free time was devoted to pi, essentially isolating me from the outside world. I stayed up late into the night, slowly repeating the numbers that appeared on my electronic organizer. I’d wake up early the next morning, fearful that I had forgotten the previous night’s work. But in the end, the sleep deprivation was worth it. Within a few weeks’ time, I had improved dramatically. I could now memorize ten digits in single sitting, not phenomenal by any means, but a sure sign of progress. By the end of the first month, I reached the 100-digit mark. I could sense my memory slowly returning. In school, I was less hesitant to ask a question, fearful that it had already been answered. I could actually remember the names of all my teachers. But I wasn’t finished yet. 200 digits. 300. 400. My friends thought I was crazy, but I knew better. No longer did I have to mutter things to myself to remember them. More importantly, I actually remembered where the dinner plates were kept. I was on top of the world, and just in time. The three months were up.
_</em></strong>A few weeks later I stopped, having memorized 631 digits. But I know that memorizing pi has had a significant influence on my life, one that reaches beyond the regurgitation of a simple sequence of numbers. If nothing else, it has taught me that with enough time and effort, even a simple number can heal a battered brain.</p>