<p>Returned a few days ago from our middle child’s graduation (Oberlin). It was so beautiful and thought-provoking. Perhaps others might share? Here’s what I found interesting:</p>
<li><p>Many students didn’t finish packing before graduation. It was crystal clear that, despite exciting plans, nobody wanted to leave the school or their friends to scatter back around the country. All the parents seemed to understand. It felt like the end of the musical, “Brigadoon.” </p></li>
<li><p>Although parents were gracious about applauding everyone else’s kids as well as their own, when it came time to move close to photograph their graduate descending from the stage, elbows and tempers grew sharp, and nothing could block their way! Tigers, all. </p></li>
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<p>The college had seen this many times before, and placed security people with specific tasks to manage the crowd near the podium. A special elevated platform was set up for parents, with a guard calling out alphabetically one shade ahead of the Provost’s calling of the names, so that families were in place when their own graduate received the diploma. Other security guards made sure that people didn’t stand to block others who were seated. The patience of the security guards was most apparent to me, since I had awoken at 6 a.m. for a 9:30 a.m. ceremony. I had scored a second-row seat. But without the guards doing their work, I wouldn’t have seen anything. I watched the guard closest to my seat say the same thing, gently, for an hour
to each new parent with a camera: where to stand, how not to block others’ view, when to ascend the special platform. Each time, the parent said, “but it’s my child…” and each time the guard closed her eyes patiently and pressed the parent onward to a better position than the parent had tried to establish for him/herself. </p>
<p>The Commencement Speaker was the pulitzer-prize winning, nationally syndicated newspaper columnist Constance Schultz, who writes regularly for the Cleveland Plain-Dealer. Since she’s also the wife of Ohio’s senator, her own published book is called, “And His Lovely Wife” which I found very amusing. A first-generation college graduate herself, she often writes about the struggle for education, as well as the plight of the vast majority of Americans who work a lifetime without benefit of college educations. Her warm, wonderful charge to the students included the idea that “you’re only as good as the way you treat the waitress” and to raise awareness of all the people from cafeteria line workers to security guards who help make a campus work. She encouraged students, no matter how far or high they go, to continue to look each person in the eye – cashiers at Walmart, maids at hotels, etc. – and remember to thank them. She acknowledged that, as new college graduates, they might feel a bit scared at this moment, and said that the world gives them not enough credit, or sometimes they underestimate themselves .
But she said, “Speak your mind, even if your voice is shaking…” and was encouraging to each and every person this way. The students liked her message very much, as did I.
So, following that good advice, at the end of the graduation I shared a private thank-you with the guard whom I watched for an hour, diplomatically clearing people around the graduation podium. I said, “You’re my hero. If it weren’t for you, doing your work in the hot sun all morning, I wouldn’t have gotten to see my daughter leap across the stage, or her big smile. It meant the world to see it, so thank you.” The guard was deeply moved.</p>
<li><p>Our youngest, who is just now graduating h.s., attended. We got him a room in the college dormitory and his head was dancing with thoughts of living this way, in just a few months. It was very exciting.</p></li>
<li><p>My mother, age 80, flew in alone and we met her. The college rented scooters and wheelchairs, which really helped her and others tremendously.
These big campuses are not the normal amount of walking for a senior. Without the scooter, she’d have been miserable. (I’m going to write my thank-yous tonight to the college). She participated in everything. The best night was the night before grad, when they illuminated the beautiful Tappan Square Green in the middle of campus with candle-lit lanterns. In one night, we went to three concerts, first the Conservatory students in Finney Chapel, then an open-air Wind Ensemble concert in the square, and finally a steel-drum band on the steps of Finney. It felt magical, really, and my mom enjoyed every minute from her scooter.</p></li>
<li><p>My daughter looked as happy as I’ve ever seen her in her life. Deeply pleased. She had worked so very hard, and accomplished what she wanted.
I can always tell how she feels by the way she walks, and she walked so proudly…until she got to the stage, at which point she burst into this flying leap across the stage. I guess she was very, very happy.</p></li>
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<p>What are your best anecdotes or memories from your child’s graduation? Care to share…??</p>