<p>I've been thinking a lot about boarding school lately. I haven't had much time to really think about what I actually want since I began the application process. Right before I began applying, a very important family member died, so maybe that contributed to everything. So anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to go to boarding school simply because of the opportunities for growth and change that it offers. However, if I could start all over, I might have done things differently.
I've never had the best family situation, so maybe I'm just jaded, or I want to cling to the remainder of the family I have left instead of pulling away and going to boarding school far away. My uncle ("BrooklynGuy") has been very active on these forums, and he's certainly excited about all this, moreso than I. I just don't know what I want anymore.</p>
<p>BigBlue2012-- first off, I'm really sorry about your family member.
second, now that you are going to boarding school, you should also be proud of yourself. It is a huge accomplishment, and you deserve to be excited. You may now be contemplating the things you may have done differently, however, boarding school might be a great experience. There is no point in regretting anything when you have not gotten there yet. Just see how it goes.</p>
<p>Regrets? I've had a few.</p>
<p>But then again, too few to mention.</p>
<p>bigblue, SportGirl17 is absolutely right...you have accomplished something really terrific for yourself! You'll be at Andover next year, right? Truly, you should be proud and you have so much to look forward to!</p>
<p>And, as regards leaving your family, especially soon after the loss of a close family member, it will be a big transition, no doubt. But the fact that you're thinking about it now only means that you will be better prepared in the fall. At least you won't be surprised that you miss them, or feel removed, or whatever. Many kids do find themselves surprised by the waves of homesickness that can develop in the first days away at school.</p>
<p>The move to boarding school is, of course, challenging - so much is so new all at once. But you'll be in an exciting place, with many kids who are going through the same sort of thing that you are, guided by adults who've done this a thousand times before. And, having seen the 2 SmilePups off to boarding school, I will also tell you that, while your relationships with family members may change, they won't be diminished. They can even deepen.</p>
<p>Allow yourself to enjoy the future that you've created for yourself. Don't feel bad about feeling bad, but do embrace what you've worked hard to obtain.</p>
<p>Big Blue- </p>
<p>Sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Don't worry about BS now. Enjoy the summer. Immerse yourself in some good books. Try to eat healthy food, exercise, and rest - every day. Put on a smile for the rest of the family, it will make you feel better, just be sure to find time to be by yourself as well. Try to make the most of the present, but do not be afraid of the future, it will take care of itself.</p>
<p>The main things I worry about are:
a) Is my family sending me away for the sake of sending me away? My legal guardian is in his mid-80's, and so far, progress on me moving to NYC completely with BG and his partner has been slow, or at least it appears so.
2) Will BS further "mess me up"? I've had many, many family problems in the past, and my family situation as of now is what I would call fairly unstable. I'm afraid that going to boarding school will further alienate me from my family.</p>
<p>I don't worry at all about homesickness, or not fitting in. Thanks for all of the congratulations, yeah it was hard to get into Andover :/</p>
<p>Bigblue -</p>
<p>Look at the bright side ! Get prepared for BS ! Be strong and independent !
You will be fine !</p>
<p>I'm sure lots of kids feel this way - for lots of reasons. Its the end of a long school year, and you have been through some tough times. Life can be hard. Right now you should be chilling :)</p>
<p>Bigblue-</p>
<p>First, sorry for your loss. :(
Secondly, I understand exactly what you mean. Before the app process begins you think it's a great idea and you have the understanding that you can pull out at any time. Once you're in, you feel like you can't get back out, and you aren't even sure whether you do want out or not...
One thing that helps me be more certain, happy and certain about my decision, as well as the fact that it's an amazing accomplishment, is that it's only four (three in my case) years, out of a very (hopefully) long life. Also understand that you will continue to rely on your boarding school education throughout life, you may regret not going if you don't. Also, you can always turn back after a year or two.</p>
<p>I just read your recent post (the worries) and I will answer number 2. I think that you will be surprised (or not surprised) to find that going to boarding school will strengthen your relationship with your family.
My brother went to a therapeutic boarding school all the way across the country and that only strengthened and greatly improved our relationships. We used to have minor issues with standard sibling rivalry, but ever since he left we totally savor each other's company and cherish what time we have with each other. We see no use in fighting or being anything less than pleasant to each other. My parents too have gained much more respect from him and they too respect him more. So I think it's the opposite of what you worry, in terms of family alienation.
I may be totally off in saying this seeing as I don't yet attend a boarding school and I share some of the same worries as you, but I think and hope it may help at least a tiny tiny bit.</p>
<p>"I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to go to boarding school simply because of the opportunities for growth and change that it offers"</p>
<p>There is no better reason to go.</p>
<p>"However, if I could start all over, I might have done things differently."</p>
<p>With all due respect, you cannot change the past.</p>
<p>I also agree with the others posters who say that going away to boarding school does not hurt your relationship with your family. It made me a better person and strengthened my family ties.</p>