<p>I had several paragraphs bemoaning my fate typed up, but when I tried to post, I lost them. That must be a sign that they exceeded my whining limit per post, so I'll try again in convenient bulleted format:</p>
<ul>
<li>Enrolled at Macaulay at Hunter College</li>
<li>Accepted at Barnard, Wesleyan, and UChicago</li>
<li>Regretting choice due to prestige, lack of cohesive campus culture, "the grass is always greener" syndrome?, concern about loneliness in a huge city, culture shock, high prices in NYC</li>
<li>Realizes the program offers tremendous opportunities, but wonders if finding the same with some digging at other choices was just as possible</li>
<li>Struggling to remember reasons for choosing school, such as experiencing a new part of the country and a cultural center of the world, free tuition and housing for two years, internship/study abroad/research opportunities</li>
<li>Feeling especially bummed as friends talk about going to more prestigious places</li>
</ul>
<p>I'm trying to remain optimistic, but I'm failing hard. Deep down, I know grad school is what counts, Macaulay is a great honors program in a great city, and I'm extremely fortunate to have this opportunity to attend. But I'd really love to hear any words of wisdom parents might have; I'm feeling like a huge jerk for not being excited, but also really resentful of falling into the "It's NYC! It's free tuition!" trap and not examining my options better, appealing FA packages, etc. Thank you for reading.</p>
<p>It’s very normal to feel like this. Second-guessing a choice that’s been made is so common that there’s a name for it – buyer’s remorse. Right up to the moment we make a commitment, we feel like there are endless possibilities; the moment the commitment is made, all of those other avenues are closed. </p>
<p>I can’t address the other issues you raise, since I’m not familiar with the options, but in general: Understand that you made the choice for good reasons, assume those good reasons have not suddenly vanished, and embrace the choice you did make. :)</p>
<p>Please don’t feel like a jerk for having the feelings you are having. It’s completely normal. You just had to make a life altering decision on where to go to college. That is alot of pressure for someone so young to make. I am sure alot of your friends and classmates are experiencing alot of the same feelings as you. They might not be voicing it, but I am sure they are having mixed feelings, too. </p>
<p>Instead of second guessing yourself, focus on all the wonderful opportunity and experiences you will have that you will not get at the other schools you mentioned. Go on the NYC visitors website and check out all the wonderful places you can go to. Start planning a shopping list on what to bring to Hunter College or what stores you will shop at once you get to NYC. Plan out how you will decorate your room. Get in contact with your roommate. See if Hunter College has a facebook page or twitter for students. Talking to other students might help you ease any apprehensions you are experiencing about going.</p>
<p>Once you get to Hunter, join some clubs to meet some people. I bet your dorm will have some parties to meet other students.</p>
<p>You have free tuition and housing for two years in one of the most amazing cities in the world! When your friends are at their small LACs surrounded by snow and whining to you about the fact that the only excitement in town involves a Walmart, you will be able to talk about the museums, clubs and amazing new places that you will discover each weekend. You will get a great education in the honors college, and you get out what you put in. In this economy, the lack of debt should not be overlooked. Just think of this, if you have less debt, you will have more options. If you want to take an unpaid intership, or work part-time while you do an amazing volunteer activity, or if you want to trave before heading to grad school, you can. If you take on a lot of debt, you will need to get to work right away. It will affect the kind of job that you take, when you purchase a house, when you have children, etc.</p>
<p>Given the programs and schools your choice came down to, the choice you made does not seem innately superior to the others. However, none of the others seem innately superior to the one you made. Honestly, all of those schools have the resources you need to succeed, assuming you are willing to work for that academic success. There is enough there for you to go as far as you are willing to work for.</p>
<p>Honestly, a great honors college at a good school in the cultural capital of the world with free tuition sounds pretty damn good to me.</p>
<p>You could have appealed financial aid packages, but unless there were some glaring deficiencies or radical new circumstances, there would likely only have been minor changes, if any. Ultimately, college prestige is not something worth shouldering a financial burden for.</p>
<p>I can’t tell you if you made the right choice, but you did make a good choice, which I suspect was the right one for you. Good luck at college, you’ll likely come to love it.</p>
<p>It is always possible to transfer if you truly are not happy with your choice, after 1 or 2 years, and in the meantime, you will have saved some money. Barnard would be an easy transition. I have always heard good things about Hunter, and NYC is a wonderful place to be. Prestige doesn’t matter: once you are on campus, it just isn’t an issue, whether at Harvard or Hunter. Enjoy the fall and see how you feel then!</p>
<p>This was a great choice for you. Your enviable list of acceptances tells me that you are an exceptional student - you’ll meet many such people at Hunter. Make the most of that experience and you’ll have your pick of grad school programs.</p>
<p>Please come back in late October and let us know how it’s going. I’ll bet that you’ll tell us how glad you are to be there. Most college students can’t imagine themselves elsewhere after a few months.</p>
<p>Dont let “NYC” feel overwhelming to you. You will be with others in the same boat. Part of being
there is exploring the opportunities,culture and divesrsity. Plus a free ride in an honors program will open doors for you. You will come to remember why you chose your school. Dont fret.
Sent from my ADR6300 using CC App</p>
your fancy-pants-LAC friends are working two jobs after graduation to pay off their student loans
your pool of possible graduate schools is suddenly much bigger because you have no (or little) undergraduate debt and can afford pricier options
a potential employer says “honors college, wow”</p>
<p>you will know you made the right decision. Free tuition is like the golden ticket. Congratulations. And, wow! NYC!</p>
<p>*** edited. Actually, you will KNOW you made the right decision next fall when you’re exploring arguably the most exciting city in the world in the company of accomplished, intellectually alive Macaulay classmates. The above will only CONFIRM it, right after graduation.</p>
<p>Katliamom makes an excellent point. You wrote that maybe you should have appealed your financial aid package. This in an of it self means that the schools that you were accepted to were not the most financially feasible options for your family. </p>
<p>If you could not afford to make it work now (Chicago does not meet 100% need, and Wes is not know to be generous when it comes to appealing FA packages), how could you have proposed to make it work in the future when the cost of attendance and the amount of money that you would be able to borrow would both be going up? </p>
<p>If you were on those campuses and you hae used every available $$ just to get there, how would you feel when the gang wants to go out and hop in a cab, while you were banking on walking somewhere in the neighborhood and not paying more than $3 for pizza.</p>
<p>You have free tuition
a laptop
$7500 opportunity to pursue research, internship and service
Cultural Passport to NY arts and cultural venues.</p>
<p>This is not counting whatever entitlement aid that you may be eligible for (PELL, Work Study, Etc). I think that you really got a blessing and you made out well.</p>
<p>If all else fails stay 2 years, complete some of the gen ed requirements and then transfer.</p>
<p>plumridiculous, I am envious! We live in NYC, and as much as he loves the city, DS wanted to go somewhere else for college. We are actually quite happy with his choice (in far-off Indiana), but I’m telling you – if he had applied to the Macaulay Honors Program at Hunter and been accepted, I would have been thrilled. </p>
<p>In addition to all the benefits that sybbie710 mentioned, don’t you also get to live in an all-singles dorm? </p>
<p>I think what you’re feeling is very natural, but I am sure that once you get here, you will be very happy.</p>
<p>You’ve really helped out your family in terms of financial stress. The gap between those private schools and the deal you have with Hunter is too great to be gapped unless some stupendous miracle would have occurred. Almost certainly you would not have even come close.</p>
<p>OP, your post is delightful. I love your opening paragraph; your personality shines through.</p>
<p>I think you’ve made a wonderful choice; understandably the whole prestige thing can cause second thoughts. </p>
<p>If you’ve got time on your hands, look at old posts from curmudgeon re his d choosing a lesser school with great merit $$ over prestige. The opportunities she found there were stupendouse. There are other cases here on cc, but these kids who choose a strong program, albeit lesser known, with great financial support… seem to come out great! curmudgeon’s D is now at Yale Medical School.</p>
<p>PS no reason that NYC would >> loneliness any more than any other choice on your list. You’re heading to a college campus where you’ll have ample opportunity to make friends, with orientation and housing arrangements leading the way. Same as anywhere else.</p>
<p>Re culture shock - not sure where you’re coming from, and sure there could be culture shock. In my own life, I have moved from one coast to the other, from big city to small town, and even from one country to another. There has been adjustment and some culture shock in each move. But there has also been a huge broadening of horizons, a growth and learning from the handling of the adjustment. It can take about 6 months (in my experience) to begin to feel “at home” in a totally different place - expect that, be prepared for it, embrace the new and different.</p>
<p>Everyone second guesses themselves. Remeber that every program has opportunieies that are amazing. Especially at a prestigious school, you will definitely be able to find something which works out for you. Good Luck!</p>