<p>We will be an Unifieds tomorrow night for two Wednesday auditions -- one at U of Miami, one for Webster. I know the Webster aud is very comprehensive and the UM one has a music theory test too AND is not in the Palmer House but at an audition site up near Fort Sheridan on the north side. I know I'll run into some folks I've met before: I'll be the one in the corner with the computer.....thanks for being so nice....I usually don't go wacky in public but some of these kids treat their parents as ROADIES! LOL</p>
<p>My d got her 1st rejection in the mail last week right before we were leaving for NY Unifieds. She had asked me to open all mail and text her any information at school. I did as she asked. Of course her initial reaction was to be very hurt and take it very personal, but after some thought she realized it's not personal. There are just so many talented kids for those top spots. As we were flying to NY she said that she was thinking about Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls (as we had just recently seen it) and how Simon told her she wasn't good enough on American Idol. She may not have been good enough for him but that didn't mean she wasn't going to achieve something HUGE (like a nice big oscar nomination). So much of it has to do with luck, timing and things that may be just out of our kids control. So I agree that rejection is all part of this process....but that doesn't mean it's over for them. Good luck to all of our kids!</p>
<p>mamalot,</p>
<pre><code> I have two D's, both are very bright but very different. The older one, a college freshman is highly organized, driven and self motivated and needed little or no "intervention" with school work or with the college process. Since going to college, we speak to her once a week or so. She's very happy at school and we're very happy for her.
</code></pre>
<p>Our second D is creative, imaginative, athletic, musical and has ADHD. She struggled to complete tasks and do well in courses that she found "boring" and needed a fair amount of intervention by counselors and her parents in her education process. She did NOT schedule her own music lessons and needed me to keep her on task with her practicing. There were many times when I just wanted to forget it, but everyone around me said "She's so gifted but lacks self discipline. Once she gets through those first couple of years she's going to fly!" Second D needed help learning to organize her time, keep her things organized, she was always losing things, but by the time she was in HS, our hard work had paid off. She's still no neat Nelly, but she manages to get good grades, perform in multiple shows and trains in voice, dance, and acting several hours/week. She wrote her own college essays & nailed the SAT, but STILL needed help when it came to the college app. process. She just could not get her arms around all of the forms, requirements, audition scheduling, travel arrangements etc. WE had to step in and help. Am I less proud of her than I am of my older D who did it all herself? NO! Have I done a lot of work and should I be proud of myself for that work, YES!
You can be proud of your son and his motivation and independence, hard work and accomplishments. He sounds like a great kid, but not everyone is born with the same kind of brain or organizational skills and kids who needed help with this process are no less deserving of the rewards for their hard work. This is certainly not a path that I would have chosen for my D. I tried to convince her that there were many other ways to be happy using her gifts for music, dance and acting, but this is the path that she wanted to seek and I'm behind her 100%. She has an auditon on Friday, but I'm the one who scheduled the flights, hotel, tour of the school and made connections at the school. I also scheduled us a facial on Thursday afternoon and I'm not a bit ashamed of it!
Good luck to your son on his coming auditions. I hope he realizes his dreams!</p>
<p>Our s. whom you know is very much a self starter, very organized and motivated.
His older brother has MANY learning disabilities, including ADD without hyperactivity and a language processing disorder. I have had to help him organize many things, and also follow up on many things. He has NO self-discipline and would not have made it into college, where he is studying to be a chef, without tutoring and my intense involvement. Now, our other son is not musically talented; but he is a voracious reader, has a real moral analysis, etc.
In some ways, he is "brighter" than our other s.
And of course, I scheduled the flights (he doesn't have a credit card) and found the time for the auditions in MY schedule. I meant that he had to take ownership for the school selection process, the information, applications and the preps for the tryouts -- song selection, monologues, etc. -- part of why he is auditioning NOW instead of back in December when it would have been wiser.
He's an athlete and he knew that if he went out for a sport, he would have to see the season through even if it put his college acceptances in peril and he had to be the "last one" through the door.
What I meant was that, unlike WallyWorld and MANY others I have met, I have have not taken ownership for either of their lives. I haven't decided what they will do and when. how and who with. I'm not the ringmaster.
I love and am proud of them equally. One needs help with everyday things. One does not. I try to give each what is needed.
You probably have not encountered really over-manipulative parents in this process; but I have. I've also encountered some of the dearest, kindest and most sharing people I've ever known. At an audition last Saturday, a woman stood up and lectured the whole audience about the need for her daughter to go to a school where she learned to write a "good English sentence" and how she was an expert in higher education, etc. etc. and the state of writing among high school seniors is deplorable and it didn't matter how good this school was at design, she had to know if it was good enough for her daughter's creative expression in language to be fostered.
Her daughter wanted to die. You could see it.
Moreover, I don't want my kids to hate me someday because I micromanaged their lives -- which happens a great deal with highly creative kids. They end up despising the thing they love because it has become their parents' thing and not theirs anymore.
I had friends who were national champion figure skaters who said they knew the "right way" to raise their daughter to go all the way.
She turned 13 and wanted to be a cheerleader.
I'm sure your daughter -- and all klds who have on the board who have taken on this project as part of THEIR OWN identity -- will have kid who do better than my s. in getting into colleges, and the TOP colleges with the TOP names. I envy them; but I can't make this our life.
It's his life and he has to learn to live it, so as he grew older, we handed over more and more pieces of it to him.
That's all I meant.
I think you're doing a great job for your girl and she'll end up at the top! We all go about our lives differently.</p>
<p>Rejection summary</p>
<p>This is my summary of my son's auditions thus far.</p>
<p>Elon: great school, the best audition experience of all. Rejected
Shenandoah: accepted to Theatre but rejected for MT--he did not want that school
Penn State: great place, great program. Rejected (he was sick that day)
Hartt: unimpressive MT campus--did not visit main campus because he was rejected
UARTS: great program, great audition. Rejected
Otterbein: great place. Dr. John is as wonderful as he seems on CC. He is a great human being as well as a great director. Anticipated rejection--the accompanist did not come close on the tempo. We got back home after midnight and my wife did not tell us there was a letter from UARTS (which could only be bad news that soon). She told me the next day wher she had hid it. I could not find it--my son had "sniffed" it out. He handled it with aplomb: "I'm glad I got rejected--there are going to be things in life that I want really badly and I won't get them--so I have to learn how to take it."
Pace: good program, Amy Rogers seems great--still waiting but not too hopeful based on the response there.
Penn State again at unifieds: still waiting but expecting rejection.
Fredonia: this week
Buffalo and Point Park in two weeks.</p>
<p>I am planning on a backup plan of theatre at Temple and having him study voice and dance outside of the program.</p>
<p>Anyone wanting more specific information can contact me. Be patient for a response, my dad is dying.</p>
<p>Beriglour</p>
<p>Hang in there. Something wonderful will happen for your son. Our thoughts are with you and your father.</p>
<p>Well, the wait is over for UMich. My D got her first rejection letter. She asked about it when she got home from school and said that she wanted to open it, so I gave it to her. She took it very well and said that she was not expecting to get in anyway. She felt good about the audition, but said that it was definately not her best and that she was pretty nervous during her songs. Well on we go and I'm sure that she'll get in somewhere if it's meant to be. She's a great kid and we will be very proud of her no matter what happens.</p>
<p>beriglour,</p>
<pre><code>I'm very sorry that your son has had to deal with all of these rejections. I'm not sure what is worse, having to wait and getting a bunch at once, or getting them gradually. Kids can only go to one school and my D applied to 10 hoping that it would increase her odds. A professional voice coach told me that she worked with a girl once who was fabulously talented. She had applied to many schools but in the end only got into one. It was not her first choice school, but once she got there, she realized that it was THE school for her. Many people have said that we must have faith that our kids will end up where they are meant to be. I'm hoping that this is true and that at least one of the schools my D applied to will accept her. If not, she has other options and we'll be there to guide and support her in her next endeaver.
</code></pre>
<p>mamalot, </p>
<pre><code> I've been really fortunate to have met some great people in our travels and here at CC. I think that this is a very busy and stressful time for all of us. I've seen some badly behaved kids and parents, but I try to keep in mind that I have not been in THEIR shoes and have no idea what their day has been like. I know for myself that at one of our auditions, my D did not want to get up and was running late. I was so frustrated with my D's seeming lack of concern for the time that I said "Here's the phone, you'd better call a cab because I've never been to this school, this town is full of confusing one way streets and road construction and I refuse to put myself into a panic because you want to spend forty five minutes applying makeup!" I let the cab take her over to the school, I had Starbucks in the hotel lobby and went over when my blood pressure had returned to normal! I'm the kind that likes to arrive early and have a chance to get myself settled. If I had tried to drive her with ten minutes to get there, park and find the right door, it would have been ugly and I'm sure that I would not have made a good impression on any one I met!
</code></pre>
<p>Good luck to your son and happy trails!</p>
<p>Here's a summary of our s's rejections and anticipated rejections</p>
<p>U MICH - rejected by drama (called song and dance man)
U MICH - rejected by MT, in a nice way, accompanist very accomplished but playing a different song
Webster -- anticipate rejection, tape sounds like made in trunk of a car but going to Unifieds today, in blizzard, may get deferral due to injury
Baldwin-Wallace -- Feb 16, anticipate rejection b/c missing "anniversary" with former girlfriend, hoped for reuniting
Roosevelt -- anticipated rejection, man who answered the telephone hates everyone.</p>
<p>I'm sure that no one on this board is that type of pushy parent.
My kid's no angel either. He can be a real pain. He griped all night last night under his breath about having to make a tape at the last minute -- though he didn't FIND OUT about it until the last minute, so it's no fault but his own.
Personally, I wish I had small syringes of opiates I could take because I get more upset than he does and cannot ever show it, since I want to remain as relaxed and nonchalant as he is. (He was "chalant" last night, though!)
The only thing I don't like is kids treating their parents like staff. It's the difference between, "Here, HOLD THIS!" and "Mom, I've got to run into the bathroom. Can I leave this here?"
But you're right. Stress is a big factor on people's behavior. It sure makes ME SNARKY!!!!!
You're so nice I'm sure that you wouldn't have made a bad impression on anyone.</p>
<p>mamalot, if I were you, I wouldn't be so sure that just because someone on the phone at Roosevelt wasn't as nice or cheery as he might have been that your son won't be accepted. Ditto what you say about B-W: how can you anticipate how an audition will go that has not even happened yet? :) Also, I am confused as to what you mean about your son being called "song and dance" man at UMich drama. Did they say something about his love of musical theater in his rejection letter? Forgive me if this is clear to others .... it could well just be me that is confused. NMR</p>
<p>Sarahsmom42
When I read your post, I find that your family is much like my own. Your words always reveal your faith in your daughter's success and your optimism. Kudos to you. I always find reassurance in reading what you (and others) have to say.
My 1st daughter sounds a lot like yours; she is a planner, she is independent and intelligent (she completed her Master degree by age 22). The only help I had to give her regarding college planning was emotional support. Then there is my creative and talented MT d: her brain is wired completely different! I really had to help her quite a bit with planning these auditions. In her defense, her schedule is tight - she is in rehearsal for a spring musical, she has vocal and dance lessons, she works a part time job, and maintains good grades, and has been looking for summer stock on top of this college audition process. She needs my help. She focuses on preparing material for her auditions, I make the arrangement for travels, and her father does the driving. We are a team; she will be on her own soon enough (she does not lack responsibility).
I love the fact that you scheduled those facials...I might do the same before my D's next audition! We received correspondence today regarding her upcoming audition that read- "...we do know that some of you feel you can perform better if you have confidence in how you look"....I am the parent who shopped for a new blouse for my daughter, she looks great in it! I too feel no shame.<br>
Anyway, just wanted to share these thoughts with you. I sense your love and concern for your d, ...she will find the right path....they all will. Musical Theatre finds these young people for a reason. My d believes that dealing with rejection makes you a better artist....if that's the case she should be on Broadway by now!
Beriglour -
My thoughts are with you. I lost my father is 2003 and I can not imagine having my loss compounded by this college search. Hang in there.</p>
<p>I haven't had time to read the forums much recently due to spending time with a close friend whose brother had very serious health issues but I had a few minutes this morning and caught up on a few threads. I wanted to send my best wishes to those who are in the thick of audition 'season', both students and parents, and also some calming thoughts. </p>
<p>It is perfectly normal to begin to have doubts around now if your child has started receiving letters of rejection. It's not time to panic, however. If you and your child had a good mix in the list of schools chosen, you will likely still have choices, at the end of the day. They may not be your child's first choice but, as others have said, most kids can be happy at more than their first choice school. It's hard to remember that when a few rejections have already come through.</p>
<p>I know everyone says that kids will end up where they should be. I don't necessarily agree with that. I know kids who did not end up where they should be, and I know that there are kids who have posted on CC over the years, or their parents have posted, who did not necessarily end up where they should be. This, in my opinion, is a simplistic answer, sometimes expressed in the hope that it will happen. It's best to be realistic (and always hopeful, of course) and be prepared that this may NOT happen. Preparation, not necessarily with a backup plan, even if it's only thinking of the possibilities of other options, is never a bad idea. </p>
<p>As others have said, getting into a BFA or a BA to major in drama or MT, is not necessary in order to make theatre your future. Many, if not most, actors who appear on stages, whether on Broadway, off-Broadway, national tours or regional companies, community theatre, etc., have not taken this route. While obtaining the best possible training is always an advantage, it is no guarantee of success in this field. The reality is that there is no guarantee for ANYone, regardless of their background, their training, their education, their talent, or their path to a particular audition. There are many paths, and, as someone else said, a lot of this business is luck and contacts.</p>
<p>Just to carry on that theme for a minute, and a related comment about behavior at auditions, I wanted to reiterate that a student and his/her parents should always be on their best behavior, regardless of what kind of day they've had, etc. The theatre community is an amazingly small one and you never know who the person you're talking to, knows, and, additionally, online you never know who is reading what you're posting. Recently, I, and a few others on CC have had someone copy and paste some posts on another theatre forum and email those posts (with identifying information about the individuals who posted them) to us. Some of the posts were appalling, the majority of them coming from parents whose kids are going through this process, have already gone through it and are currently in schools, or will be going through it next year. We tell our kids to be careful what they post online, but I couldn't believe some of the behavior that was exhibited in the emails I received. I know that some of you also post here and wanted to ask that you really think about the things you're saying on that other forum. You have no idea who is reading those things, and I'm sure you wouldn't want any repercussions on the admissions process or on the future careers of your talented kids because of them. Again, I reiterate, the theatre community is a small one.</p>
<p>Lastly, encourage your kids, help them rehearse their songs and monologues, be supportive, help them with the small details of getting to and from auditions and making sure they have everything with them that they'll need, make sure they eat properly and keep properly hydrated, make sure they get a good night's sleep before each audition, and, if your kid is anything like mine was, give them the space they need, both before and after their auditions. Be sure to remember that these auditions, and their results, are not the end of the world. I'm keeping all of you, both kids and parents, in my thoughts.</p>
<p>Adding to alwaysamom's thoughts;
At my d's CCM audition, Mr. Woolston told students that CCM has turned students away who went on to be a success on Broadway. He encouraged them to hold to their dreams. I thought that his pre-audition spill was warm and helped to relieve student jitters. (Also, CCM's rejection letter is very well written!) We do live in an American Idol world...we all know that there are many successful people in theatre who did not attend a university. I am not advocating this path...just adding my two cents.</p>
<p>Adding to alwaysamom's thoughts;
At my d's CCM audition, Mr. Woolston told students that CCM has turned students away who went on to be a success on Broadway. He encouraged them to hold to their dreams. I thought that his pre-audition spill was warm and helped to relieve student jitters. (Also, CCM's rejection letter is very well written!) We do live in an American Idol world...we all know that there are many successful people in theatre who did not attend a university. I am not advocating this path...just adding my two cents.</p>
<p>As I and many others have said there are many paths to the same goal. I myself have been on the fence with these auditions for a while. I know that I want to have a career in MT but have become so stressed and sick over these auditions for programs that I am thinking about just going to a college for my BA and then either auditioning for BFAs next year or just doing a BA. Anyway thats a topic for another time.I know how hard and stressful it is, but I do not think a rejection makes one any less worthy of following their passions than the person whos gets into CCM,CMU,NYU,Michigan.</p>
<p>alwaysamom, very well said, indeed. Thanks for saying it.</p>
<p>Alwaysamom,</p>
<p>We began this journey last winter and since then, have learned much from CC. Using what we've learned, our D has applied and auditioned to both BA and BFA programs at many of the schools on her list. Ithaca asked the kids to check a box if they would be willing to do BA in theatre if they were not accepted into MT. She checked that box!
As to the "other site", I think that it is important that whenever we use the internet, we be aware that our words are available to the world. Many people visit this site and lurk and I know of at least one administrator at a top university who reads and posts here. I've read many of your posts & don't know why anyone would use your words maliciously. I'm very sorry that someone has hurt you because I think that you're posts have been helpful and wise.<br>
We've planned well with the help of this site and I'm very confident that my D will not be sitting at home this fall twittling her thumbs, or depressed in some school she has no respect for. There are many paths to HAPPINESS and FULFILLMENT using your talents in music, theatre and dance even if you don't ever perform professionally! My husband and I want our D to get a four year degree. It does not have to be a BFA or even a BA in music, theatre or dance. We just want her to experience what we did at college: We explored, matured, met many wonderful people, and we had a chance to see the world outside of our parents homes. We found that there were many valid opinions other than that of our parents and we GREW. That's the most important part of this process as far as we're concerned. If D gets a degree in MT, that's awesome, but it was not the only criteria she used when choosing schools the schools on her list.</p>
<p>Although my S applied to 8 schools last year, he did not get an acceptance until March! So all I can say is hang in there. I know it is not easy when you hear about other kids (MT and non-MT) getting in to the school of their choice, but be patient! In the end, my S only got in to 2 schools--Syracuse and BoCo. BoCo wasn't even on his radar screen and he was surprised that he even got in. He is a freshman there this year and LOVES it!!! He feels very challenged and is extremely impressed with the amount of talent at the school. He has made many friends, will have been in four shows by the end of the school year and MOST importantly is very happy and content. Please don't give up so early in the game! There still is a lot of time left! And guess what? I get to go through this AGAIN next year with my second son!! Hopefully, I will be able to follow my own advice!</p>
<p>sarahsmom, it sounds like you are doing all the right things. I agree with you that having a four year degree is an excellent goal, regardless of what else is involved with the student's preparation for a life in theatre. Being an educated actor is always a positive thing.</p>
<p>I think you misunderstood what I posted about the posts from another forum but I appreciate your concern. No one used my words maliciously. What I meant was that others had posted things on another forum (many very uncomplimentary and downright nasty things) and that someone had copied those individuals' posts and sent them to me and to others, with identifying information as to who had made the posts. The only ones being malicious were the initial 'posters'. I don't really want to go into detail on the forum what those posts included or who the majority of them were about, but suffice it to say, they say a lot more about those who wrote them than they do about those who they were about. Some of the posts were made by students. My point, after much reflection, in even posting about it was to caution people to take care in what they're putting out there on the internet. Many would be amazed by who reads this forum, as well as others devoted to theatre, and several online communities. The theatre world, despite the country's vastness, is a small one. In a business where contacts, and reputation, are of the utmost importance, and where success and available work are so limited, it makes no sense to even take a chance that something you say or do may influence your student's future.</p>
<p>Best of luck to your D, sarahsmom.</p>