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<p>Manipulative may not have been the best word. It was the first one that came to mind in my initial post, so I stuck with it. Harmful may be broad enough to handle the general scenario of a relationship with a maturity gap. Sure, lets call it harmful then.</p>
<p>Substitute harmful for manipulative, and my argument still stands. There was no contradiction. Relationships between the mature and the immature are inherently harmful–so says the law because those deemed immature can never consent, as it’s a crime even when it’s proven that no lies or deception or force was involved. But the law uses age as an imperfect proxy for maturity. Eighteen is no magic number because one cannot reasonably assume that there is a maturity gap between a seventeen and a twenty year old. But in the case of the OP, one can clearly assume a maturity gap between a twenty and a forty year old.</p>
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<p>And so if the law uses the concept of inherent harm, I think we are justified in using it too. Therefore, there is no need to investigate the presence of lies, cheating, deception. We know that the two parties are of vastly different levels of maturity, and that is enough to invoke negative feelings.</p>
<p>As you said, whether the concept of inherent harm is even valid is beside the point.</p>