<p>^^that’s funny!</p>
<p>D has been fouling the nest for weeks, doing her best to squash me underfoot as she asserts herself. Her failure to listen to mom’s wisdom has caused a number of problems–some serious, some not, but all highly annoying. Her last night at home she threw one of her biggest fits all summer. It was not the loving goodbye I’d hoped for, but to be honest I wasn’t surprised. At the very least I knew there would be stress because there was no way she’d be done her packing.</p>
<p>So while I will certainly miss her, I will NOT miss the conflicts one bit. Our home will be quiet and peaceful, and DH and I will get along a whole lot better without her stirring the pot all the time. I find it tough not to say something really sarcastic when people ask me “How can you let her go so far from home?” and “Won’t you miss her too much, being so far away?” They would assume I’m cold and heartless, or at the very least unsentimental. That’s not the case, but they’d never believe that D is such a Jekyll and Hyde–wonderful to the outside world, but a terror to her family.</p>
<p>Today at one of the parent sessions, the presenter asked ‘how many of you are glad to have your kid out of the house?’ Several hands went up, including both members of a couple sitting next to us, whose hands went up so fast and high that there was absolutely no doubt of their feelings. I thought of this thread :)</p>
<p>psych_ - My S is in kind of an opposite situation from you school-wise. His parochial elementary/middle school had a lot of children from wealthy families who held their noses about the religious aspects because it is one of the few alternatives to public school in our area and has a lot of “snob appeal.” For high school, he went out of district to a school that was public in name only for the honors/AP program. It definitely affected his world view - while we were going to North Carolina for vacation, his friends were going to Europe, etc. Now he is at a regional state university where many students are first-gen, or from rural, blue-collar backgrounds and I think his attitude will change dramatically.</p>
<p>As for S2, the parochial school closed its middle-school grades after his sixth-grade year. At that time, H and I held our noses and sent him in-district to a historically underperforming middle school (but with a dynamic principal and administration who made great strides in solving dicsipline problems, etc.) After about six weeks, he told me "Mom, at (parochial school) I was the poor kid, at (public school) I’m one of the rich ones. It was an eye-opening moment for me. He’s doing great as a high school freshman and is a lot more realistic than S1 is in a lot of ways.</p>
<p>
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<p>This is part of the result of viewing them as a “kid” and their view of themselves as not a kid.</p>
<p>I found that the college son or daughter not coming back to the parent’s house much after HS lets both the parent and the offspring breathe a little easier. Freshman year can be a pain for both parent and child if there are a lot of “visits.” </p>
<p>In my experience, a full time summer job out of state the summer after freshman year helped set a workable relationship for the remainder of college. In fact, the more my now senior S made his own plans and figured out how to impliment them without parental assistance, the more I looked forward to the occasional visits from him. </p>
<p>BTW-- I think there are as many students just as relieved to be back in school as there are parents relieved to have them gone. Delayed “launch” seems to stress both parents and the offspring.</p>
<p>“a full time summer job out of state the summer after freshman year helped set a workable relationship for the remainder of college.”</p>
<p>My son is certainly a joy when I see him for short bursts of time. In fact, 48 hours was not quite enough this year between his summer job and heading back to school. In addition, by working with other more financially independent youth, he depends on us way less for not just money, but things such as clothing and laundry as well. He expects himself to take care of it. The young adults at the camp he worked don’t seem to be typical of most of the other kids at his school. D I’m sure will be a different story next summer. </p>
<p>I agree O7DAD that the kids are perhaps more relieved than the parents.</p>
<p>I laughed out loud when I saw this one.</p>
<p>""Today at one of the parent sessions, the presenter asked ‘how many of you are glad to have your kid out of the house?’ Several hands went up, including both members of a couple sitting next to us, whose hands went up so fast and high that there was absolutely no doubt of their feelings. I thought of this thread 
"</p>
<p>This was me the year D went off to college. Could she have made herself any more difficult to live with??? I think not!</p>
<p>(Still can’t figure out HOW to Quote a post properly!!!)</p>
<p>
[quote]
text to be quoted [/unquot ] Just add an “e” at the end of unquote.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE=07DAD]
Actually, close it with /quote in square brackets, not /unquote.</p>
<p>oops–
geek_mom is right</p>
<p>PLEASE TAKE MY CHILD BACK TO COLLEGE NOW!!! I’m not going to survive the next 3 weeks until she goes.</p>
<p>My rising junior college son didn’t come home at all this summer. Last summer he didn’t do a lot around here, didn’t work, didn’t help out much around the house, and obviously wanted to be back east with his girlfriend. This summer he took it upon himself to find an apartment for the summer, found a job, and stayed there. It worked out well for everybody. We flew back and visited in July. He’ll be home for winter break before we know it.</p>
<p>TIME FOR ME TO DO THE HAPPY DANCE. </p>
<p>As of today, both kids are back at school. </p>
<p>I love them, but they have outgrown our house. Either that or our house shrunk.</p>
<p>Add me to the happy dance. Love my kids but…love the space, the freedom, the peace and the joy of knowing that 450 pounds of male testosterone has left the coop. Plus I’ll be happy and excited to see them at Christmas…got that going! I’ve still got one home but he hasn’t reached that point where he dominates the emotional environment. Plus it’s darn nice to have minutes in the day to talk to my husband about something other than kids.</p>