Reluctant Son, How hard to push?

<p>Should you "insist"? That just doesn't seem right to this parent. In your shoes, I would give the following speech: "Son, I strongly suggest you try to keep as many options open as possible. You will eventually have to make a decision. But things change, girlfriends can leave, your attitude and goals can change, and I would suggest you not close any door unless and until you have to. So, the deadline for calling your ALO is _____, it's up to you to call or not call. As your parent, you should listen carefully to my advice, but, like an appointment to an academy, this advice is yours to accept or not accept (assuming the appointment is offered). My opinion is that you should contact him but it is definately not an order!" Good luck!!</p>

<ol>
<li> It's HIS life. He needs to take responsibility sooner rather than later.</li>
<li> Sit down with him. ADVISE him to keep his options open and that it is better to apply, if interested, and later reject then to have missed the opportunity and REGRET it.</li>
<li> Emphasize the possibility of REGRET and how HE might regret the decision NOT to apply everywhere.</li>
<li> I'd rather apply and reject then not to have applied at all and REGRET it. That is a hard lesson to learn as a young person and all you can do as a parent or more experienced person is to TRY to convey that he may have regrets later on...but do so with the full understanding that it is still HIS life and HIS choice. Do not confuse HIS decision with YOUR desires.</li>
</ol>

<p>I almost turned down my appointment. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 yrs proposed to me, but it was either him or the Acadmey. So I said, well, what if it doesn't work out with him? things change, but the Academy doesn't. It was a tough decision, but I had to make that for myself.</p>

<p>I would have to agree with funnyesq the most. My mother (USAFAMOM) used the same tactic to get me to apply to one of the clubs at the academy. I didnt want to do the work necessary for joining and i was being lazy. She kept telling me how sorry i would be and really made me think about squandering the CHANCE of getting into the club. If i had never applied, i would never have gotten in, but if i did apply and didnt get in, then it just wasnt meant to be. I would definitely sit down with your son and reiterate Over and over how sorry he will be about not applying later. I would even go as far as to say that YES he should be PUSHED to get the meetings scheduled even if he is uncomfortable. If his problem is that he is uncomfortable with new people and new surroundings, guess what There is not a single college, workplace, team, country, or anything else where he wont have to meet new people. I say push him strongly to apply, but ultimately, the decision is up to him to accept the appointment (should he receive one) because everyone else on this thread is correct that you must be at the academy for yourself.</p>

<p>I'd be reluctant to push him into applying without first visiting the Academy. It's time to load up the car and head west. Let him visit the Academy and shadow a cadet for the day. If he still isn't sure, then he's not the best candidate for the appointment. If he's on the fence, a chance to see the facilities might push him in the direction you want to go.</p>

<p>Best of luck!</p>

<p>I agree with what has been said thus far. In addition, you never mentioned if this is what your son wants or what other 'back-up' schools he is applying for. To me it is an entirely different issue if he has expressed an interest in the Academy but just isn't sure how to get started (or lacks self-confidence, etc.) vs. something his mom/dad think he should do.</p>

<p>Thanks for all your advice, both private and public. We've taken it to heart. Over the past couple of weeks my wife and I have backed off mentioning the USAFA and have put the onus on our son to start to look for college alternatives. So far, the pace of his pursuit of admission to any institution of higher education has mirrored the interest he shows in mowing the lawn. </p>

<p>He pursues high school studies with a great amount of determination and reads ACT study guides in preparation for the tests, yet lacks any motivation to apply for any college unless prompted. </p>

<p>As parents, my wife and I would never "make" our son go to any particular university, especially one that requires a military commitment. But given that the USAFA application process is 95% complete, we're going to make him get the DodMERB done and set an appointment with the ALO. One private response suggested that the experience of going through the interview process would be helpful in preparation for future job interviews. We hadn't thought of that, but we agree.</p>

<p>If he were to obtain an USAFA appointment, he would then have to confront the consequences of accepting or rejecting it, head on. If no appointment were to be offered, then there would be no regrets. </p>

<p>My wife also worries that abandoning the application process at this late date might leave a sour taste in the mouths of those that went to the trouble of writing LORs. We have another son, a high school junior, who is highly interested in attending the USAFA. We need those people who wrote LORs for son #1 to write letters next year for son #2.</p>

<p>Zackwheat finishing things is always an important lesson. You are right he will have to make the final decision if an offer is extended. Like we discussed before your family knows your son best, and each child/candidate is different. Some will require more support, and some will require less.</p>

<p>I would still recommend a visit so he can make a decision with first hand observation. For your younger son you should consider Teen Aviation Camp (Your local base services squadron youth center sponsors this program) if it is his sophmore to junior summer, and AF Summer Semminar if it is his Junior to Senior summer. Both programs will give a small slice of cadet life and USAFA life. Best part about Teen aviation camp is most bases now fully fund the program. We payed Potters airfare and they paid the rest. Now they even pay airfare.</p>

<p>ha! i know who you are, usafa10s!!!!!!! ;) just thought everyone should know. kinda give the prospectives a feel for the wing-wide emails too.</p>

<p>What! how do you know? I don't know who you are</p>