<p>My wife, a Lt. Colonel in the Air Force reserves, has spearheaded the whole AFA application process for our son. He’s done the physical test once (no training) and scored the following:</p>
<p>Basketball Throw: 63
Pull ups: 15
Shuttle Run: 9.2
Sit ups: 87
Push ups: 75
Mile Run 7:00</p>
<p>Class Rank 1 of 24 (small Christian school)
GPA 3.986</p>
<p>He was selected for the AHEC-ACES program which is for students pursuing careers in health care. This was a competitive application process which involved some of the same requirements as the AFA. He had to submit LORs, go through an interview process, complete an essay, etc. It’s quite a challenge to complete the program and it’s a great thing to have on a resume in our area.</p>
<p>He’s a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and has won every tournament he has entered. He’s not involved in HS sports, but he was Sophomore class president and junior class treasurer.</p>
<p>The problem: He’s afraid of new social settings. My wife and I have to cajole him to try anything out of his comfort zone. Once he tries new things he does well. He’s comfortable taking on leadership roles and excels. It’s not the tasks that scare him, it’s the fear of not knowing anyone. As a result, he’s reluctant to even call the ALO to setup an interview. </p>
<p>We realize his candidacy is on the margins, but we don’t know if we should even push him further. We know he would do fine at the interview once there. Should we make him set up the interview? Should we encourage him to finish the process and wait and see if he gets an appointment before allowing him to make a final decision on the AFA?</p>
<p>It has always been my impression that it should be the son or daughter that wants to go. If the son or daughter gets there and did not want to go and their heart is not in it they will probably not do very well. My ALO used the phrase, "It takes your mind to get in, but it takes your heart to finish." I am currently in the process and my parents, I can honestly say, have done nothing for me. It is not that they do not want to help, they just know that it looks different when the parents are working hard to get their kid into college instead of the kid.</p>
<p>i would not force him to set up the interview. the academy is a huge decision, and forcing him to apply furthur may just turn him away. USAFA is a place you rly want to go to succeed, b/c even those of us who rly wanted to come had our doubts going through.</p>
<p>my advice: keep encouraging him to set up an interview or to talk with ppl about it. let him check out this forum, b/c i know most cadets on here are more than willing to talk to him about it, and he stays anonymous. but ultimately, if its not something he's willing to pursue on his own, then i think its best to just let it go</p>
<p>let me know if there's anything i can do to help him out</p>
<p>I think eagle has it right. Find a time, and place, to discuss what he is most interested in doing, and determine whether an interest in pursuing a health career, and attending a service academy are aligned. This is distinct from helping a son or daughter who is shy, doing practice interviews in my experience have always been helpful.</p>
<p>Self-motivation is such a key component to success, both at a service academy or medical school - it's just too much to handle otherwise.</p>
<p>Similar opinion but slightly different take. Each year a small number of Appointees never get off the bus. During Basic the ones who where pushed to attend find ways to return home. Worse they struggle with the idea of failing the family, and just cannot survive during Ac/Year. </p>
<p>The application process is challenging and difficult for a reason. It is intended to select the Cadets most likely to succeed in the Academy environment. Don't be afraid to help or encourage your son, but always be sure it is his decision. If he is truly committed be there for him.</p>
<p>It would really be great for the current cadets to chime in on this one and hopefully have some experiences with their own misgivings or those of others along this line to share. </p>
<p>If your son is uncomforable in new settings and meeting new people and this is a stresser for him until he becomes more comfortable with his new setting, how do you think he would handle a service academy? As ds52262 said, some kids never get off the bus! Each day is a new setting and each day brings new, unknown challenges at times. Not to be discouraging here, just realistic.</p>
<p>HI all! Bullet and I are back in the living (somewhat...cable and internet aren't set up...I am at work) AND yes the move went fine...they only broke the grandfather clock we bought in England :(</p>
<p>Back to the topic.</p>
<p>When DS's ALO met with him, the ALO really wanted to know if DS was doing this for him or for us.</p>
<p>AS a military family you are well aware of how often we move, are you sure this is the right fit. I do not mean to be insensitive, but as an AF officer, he will do a lot of moves within the 1st few yrs, esp. if he applies for UPT. (The first few yrs will be moving every yr, which will require new surroundings.)</p>
<p>Most importantly, he needs to desire to be there with every fiber of his being. Back in Mar. b4 the board met we sat down with our son and asked why he wanted to go to the AFA. Simple answer was to fly...we told him that wasn't a good enough reason. He needs to want to experience the whole life, and not for what he may or may not get in 4 yrs.</p>
<p>I feel very strongly that each candidate MUST want this for themselves and not for anyone else. BCT is very tough and challenging and that is just the beginning. The cadet must really put themselves "out there" constantly. Encouraging your child is good, pushing can result in a very bad outcome.</p>
<p>I have one child (not one of my AFA cadets) who needs a little push to get into new situations, but once there, he blossoms and does very well. It sounds a lot like your son, zackwheat. If the child were mine, I would gently nudge him in the direction of at least the interview with the ALO. After all, just because he is shy or slow to jump in with both feet now, doesn't mean he will be so in the future - especially if he wants a (demanding)(and people intensive) medical career. If, after the interview, he doesn't say, "Wow! THAT's what I want!" and doesn't make motions on his own to pursue it, then, I would drop it.</p>
<p>It can be very difficult for parents to deal with these situations, and I feel for you! Obviously, your son is motivated in scholastic pursuits, and in karate. Ultimately, I think that most of the kids who get the nom and appointment are good fits at the academies. You ALO may notice right away whether s/he thinks your son is a good candidate.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the helpful responses. We've decided to let him pursue his own timetable. The application process is finished from our end. Some transcripts haven't been processed, but that's all that's left.</p>
<p>If he never contacts the ALO, I guess that tells us his heart isn't in it.</p>
<p>yep: it's gotta be up to the kid. you hear that alot here.. if you dont wanna be here for your own reasons, if you're not the one who provides the motivation, you wont last. just a fact of life.. but, if it IS something you want to do, not because of mom/dad/neighbors/community, you get to experience some amazing things. </p>
<p>like today, coming down from eagle's peak w/ my squad and a few upperclassmen.. these guys stopped us and asked "hey, are yall academy cadets?" (we were in ABUs.. duh haha :) ) and he asked if we would take a picture with him, then thanked us for serving our country. even though we arent doing much right now to serve, we will be.. and it's really awesome just to talk to civilians when you're by the chapel and try to explain things that they have questions about.. there's a certain amount of happiness, or just some feeling that boils up when some random stranger stops you and says "thanks." but you can never experience that unless you know for a fact that coming here is your own decision, for your own reasons</p>
<p>I agreee with HNeedle. You have to want it. There was a girl in my basic flight that went home after about 3 days because she was here for her parents, not herself. No one wants to be in that situation, because when it doesn't work out, it's painful for everyone involved.</p>
<p>I can definitely identify with your son. I am a 4 dig this year and I know that I am one of the shyest people in the world. I really don't like talking to people I don't know and new settings are rough on me. That being said, I partially picked the academy because I knew I needed to overcome this aversion to new situations and I can say now, there is nothing like basic to help you get over adjusting to new situations. They are throwing things at you so fast you don't have time to think about it, and I think that is what actually made it easier for me.
Ultimately, it has to be your son's decision, but if the only thing really holding him back is the fear of new situations, I would first encourage him to get on the forum, because this is definitely an easy way to ask questions without having to put yourself out there, then see what he thinks. I am SO glad that I decided to come here, even with all the stuff freshman have to deal with, I still love it here</p>
<p>Networking is one of those thigns that you have to learn. It's okay if your a little unconfortable at first but it's one of those things of leadership is the ability to be able to reach for people and grab thier attention. Your son is very lucky. I come from a liberal anti-military neighboorhood and my parents are no exception. Sometimes the things they say aren't as supportive as I would like them to be. But your son ultimately has to make his or own decision to come here. Everyone comes to the Academy for different reasons. To me its a calling. He has to overcome his fear of new social situations. Just the way I overcame my fear of running in the streets. I was afraid I'll get jumped and I'm still afraid because on more than one occasion hoodratz would laugh at me as I ran. But I realized that this humiliation wasent strong enough to destroy my dream. If its something big for him to talk to people, I suggest getting a counselor. If your religious, find God and ask him to help him.
Everything has to come from the inside. If he goes there not really wanting to be there, he took up a spot of someone who would die to go there. The Academy is not for everyone.</p>
<p>here's my two cents: you made the right decision.
for those who've met me, it may be hard to believe, but i had issues with my application process too.</p>
<p>i know it was hard for my parents to know just how hard to push, and they each had a different approach. in the end, i was the one who had to hit that submit button on the application. I had everything done, I just needed to submit it. The day came when I felt I could do it, and here I am now.</p>
<p>like everyone else said, if your son has any questions, the upperclassmen, and now we, are more than willing to help. this was an excellent resource for me, and we have about a billion 4 degs on here now to add to the team :)</p>
<p>Not only has our son not shown interest in further pursuing the Air Force Academy, he has been showing resistance to applying to any schools other than University of Missouri - Kansas City (UMKC). UMKC is a commuter school, a 20 minute drive from our house.</p>
<p>As I stated in the OP, I thought he was just afraid of leaving the security of home and being outside his comfort zone. Now my wife and I are starting to put the pieces together. Our son's "in love" and he's not about to let the rest of his life get in the way of a teenage romance. His girlfriend is a very sweet girl, one that we'd be proud to have as a daughter-in-law someday, but now we need to know how to proceed while we deal with this issue. His girlfriend is home-schooled and we don't know if she even intends to go to college.</p>
<p>Should we now insist he contact the ALO while we deal with the teenage romance issue, or should we let him let the opportunity pass him by.</p>
<p>Let him attend but have him carry a course load similar to a USAFA Freshman. Calc, Physics, Chem, English, History etc. If the girlfriend works out your blessed. If not he will be in a solid position to apply for 2014 or later. Plus having completed those courses at the local U he will be in a great position for freshman classes at USAFA. Consider an Ac/Year visit let him see what USAFA and the Air Force are about.</p>