<p>Should i force my 18 yr old to go to school this fall or allow him a gap year? He has an August birthday, bright but never applied himself in school, likes to draw, write, act....</p>
<p>Let him have a gap year, and even longer, until he wants to go. In the meantime, help him find opportunities to explore his interests, along with some work, volunteer or travel (such as WOOF) experience. He could also take a course or two, at community college or online, including drawing or writing.</p>
<p>Let him take a gap year. Many colleges actually say they prefer students who aren’t coming straight out of high school (as long as the didn’t sit at home doing nothing for the whole year) because they have more experience in the real world and have proven themselves to be responsible adults. One of the highest-achieving teens I know is taking a year off to travel and has lined up multiple internships so she can make some money and get experience (and have fun!) before heading to college.</p>
<p>I think a lot of guys could benefit from a gap year (or two or three or more). There’s was a pretty inspiring story on NPR this morning:
from [Crazy</a> Smart: When A Rocker Designs A Mars Lander : NPR](<a href=“Crazy Smart: When A Rocker Designs A Mars Lander : NPR”>Crazy Smart: When A Rocker Designs A Mars Lander : NPR)</p>
<p>Does he want to go to college?</p>
<p>August birthday here… I WISH Gap years were the norm back then because I surely would have benefitted. Just don’t allow it to be a year of noninvolvement. If he applied and was accepted somewhere you can still most likely defer if that’s the idea. Otherwise, he will still need to spend the fall applying to schools.</p>
<p>Get a copy of The Gap Year Advantage. Lots of interesting options and info on Gap Years. I wish I’d done one.</p>
<p>What does he want to do?</p>
<p>Has he already applied and been accepted to college? Are you talking about a recent grad who is just turning 18 and is getting cold feet now that it’s time to move out? Or is this a kid who hasn’t applied to college and might have been thinking about signing up at the last minute at your local community college?</p>
<p>If this is a kid who is registered for college and just uneasy/cold feet–I’d make him go. My son (July BD) was really reluctant to start college, but I didn’t think his misgivings (thought he was “too immature”) were anything serious so just “persuaded” him to go along with the plans that he’d already made. (It turned out fine for him. . .after a couple weeks of college he told me that he’d noticed that all the other freshman guys were even MORE immature than he was. This was a few years back–S graduated in 4 years with no problem and has been employed since.)</p>
<p>If this is a kid who hasn’t even applied to college and doesn’t know what to do, he should not just take a year off with no plan/sit around/play video games. He should have a job or be otherwise engaged in some worthwhile activities–volunteering, traveling, research, exploring careers, etc.</p>
<p>If you read the hs class of 2012 tread, you would know that I was in the same situation. I put my foot down and said that he either had to come up with a plan for the year, like a job or volunteering with a program, or go for one semester at college, and reassess whether he wanted to continue then. </p>
<p>The way I see it, the important thing if your son wants a gap year is that there is a plan, it’s not just ‘let’s sit around playing video games or hanging out all year’. My son chose the semester of collage, but a gap year can be a good thing, my husband went off to college, then after nearly failing had to take a break for a year working, then went back and aced the rest of his college career. To this day he credits that year for a lot. But your son can’t just sit around all year, he must make the most of the gap year if he chooses to do it. Talk to your son about it.</p>
<p>OP, I’m another fan of the gap year; I regret very much not insisting that my daughter take one. It’s amazing what a difference in maturity a year can make at this age. But as hawkeye says, he needs to have some purpose. IMO it doesn’t need to be rigorous or resume-enhancing; just a reason to get out of bed every day and be somewhere besides home.</p>
<p>I am also a fan of the gap year. As a former university lecturer/adviser I have many stories of under-performing students who would have (and in some cases did) benefit from a gap year or semester.</p>
<p>That said, I also agree a plan should be in place for this “time off.” If your son doesn’t yet know what he wants to “be when he grows up,” this may be the perfect opportunity for him to discover that path by career exploration or coaching, job-shadowing, an apprenticeship, etc.</p>
<p>Depends. If he has applied to, been accepted at and plans were set for him to go have him go. Your August 18 year old won’t be the youngest and presumably has been with the same cohort of kids all along. If college has been planned applied to et al, as above, I would send him. He will do fine- I had reservations about my gifted 16 year old in the big U dorms but he did fine (and wasn’t the youngest in his Honors math- a 14 year old HS girl was, doing Youth Options). Son did not have a 4.0 in HS as he was bored with some of it. It is likely your son will thrive in the previously decided on college.</p>
<p>If he hasn’t applied by now for fall he shouldn’t settle for available options at this late date. Of course, by now he already opted out of college this fall if he didn’t apply months ago.</p>
<p>btw- my gifted son was the square peg/round hole (or vice versa) kid- couldn’t hold him back or find huge numbers of agemates at his level, etc. The dilemna of kids who don’t fall into the middle of the Bell curve. Your son likely will find peers with his abilities and interests at the college he chose, or will choose. That can make a huge difference in attitude and performance compared to HS years. </p>
<p>The debate about holding kids back from entering kindergarten is chronic. I talked to a mother who regretted it for a summer birthday boy. Pros and cons. There will always be a 12 month gap in kids’ ages no matter when the date is set. Teachers will always like the relative maturity of the older kids in the elementary grades. By HS the birthday isn’t the issue, it is the individual differences in maturing. Some due to parenting- coddling, being forced to be independent et al. Some due to personalities. Your son is who he is. Normal HS grads often get wet feet this time of year. Some need that nudge out of the nest.</p>
<p>Don’t get fooled by the birthday/maturity supposed differences at this age. Many parents wonder about their teens but most thrive in the college environment- they rise to the challenges of being more self sufficient when allowed to be.</p>
<p>College now or later is NOT because of his summer birthday. He may or may not be ready for it now. Normal fears or not truly wanting academics? Ask him WHY the change presuming he went through the app process last fall.</p>
<p>I see nothing wrong with seeking work and getting real world experience while taking a gap yr. Or as compmom said, take a course or 2 while working.
Playing games for a yr would not be acceptable to me.
After the year? Full time college or full-time work, but by then he should be ready for the next step toward adulthood and self-support.
Imo the gap year isn’t just waiting a yr to mature- it is his working and his saving a yr to decide if college is right.</p>
<p>I’d be very wary of taking “a course or two” if he wants to re-apply to a 4 year school the year following his gap year. If he does that, he may not be considered as a freshman admit and have to apply as a transfer student which will make him less eligible for FA and may change his chances for admission. Do your research and make sure that you don’t limit your son’s options before you understand them.</p>
<p>In would have Rules for a Gap year no just lazying around. It would be a scheduled time ala work, volunteering, interning, with up in the morning, etc</p>