We live in a very transient area where families move in and out of the area all the time. It’s not even given a 2nd thought here. (those kids represent the majority of students) Just because a student has lived in the area doesn’t mean their transition to high school is going to be smoother as the transition from middle school to high school is a big one for everyone. Many students here enter high school having earned straight A’s in middle school. Very few end up getting straight A’s in 9th grade as the expectations have suddenly increased for every 9th grade student. The kids who may have been great friends in middle school find new friends in high school and branch out. Everyone starts high school with a clean slate. All the students have to learn to adapt to new surroundings and higher academic expectations as high school students. That means the level of effort to obtain an A is much higher in high school. The same thing happens when high school seniors become freshman in college and struggle academically. They expect to put in the same level of effort and get the same results but that doesn’t work out because the expectations only increase when entering college.
A student that never really had to do much work to get straight A’s in middle school now realizes they need to develop good study habits to achieve the same results. There are no shortcuts. Better to develop those habits in 9th and 10th grade because 11th and 12th grade are the most rigorous and stressful years of high school. High school students need to learn how to multitask so that they are able to balance their academics with their ec’s. College admissions is not just about good grades and test scores. It about doing well in school while also maintaining your own individuality and working on your personal interests outside of the classroom. It is very important to develop good social skills. A student can be the smartest kid but if they are not able to communicate their thoughts and ideas well they are not going to be successful.
As parents you set the tone in your home. You provide a calm atmosphere where they can get refreshed and feel encouraged and supported. You promote healthy habits like getting adequate sleep. You do whatever you can to encourage a positive vs a toxic environment in your home.
Personally I am so against sharing my child’s academic performance with relatives/friends as I feel it only adds stress and anxiety for our kids. Anxiety, stress and burnout is real. If the students are hearing “two year experiment” or “make lemonade out of lemons” you are only adding to their stress instead of encouraging them to learn from their mistakes and move forward. Help them build their self esteem and confidence. The road to success is not a smooth path. Expect a lot of bumps along the way. They are seeing things from their point of view as teenagers. As parents we help them develop a more objective view on things. As parents we also need to realize that the academic atmosphere has changed dramatically and that our experiences as high school students and with college admissions is not the same as the scene today. Take the time to get familiar with the process and realize that each child has their own experience and journey.
These were his options in his pursuit to turnaround: 1. Move back and restart 9th grade 2. home school. 3.private school/prep school and restart 9th grade. 4.Move forward. We spent time gathering information on pros/cons on each option. He opted to continue in current school system and grades have turned around immensely . He still plan to play team sport, take chorus, and pursue other things interest him. Meeting with college consultant was by his choice and he may decide to pursue it or go with a different consultant or none at all. If anyone has any experience/recommendations in college consultants please post here or pm me. I am curious how much is possible in this turn around. This what i meant by experiment and maybe it gave wrong vibe/connotation. He was was tested for gifted program and scored in 99 percetile in most subjects. He will be sitting in gifted classes starting in 10th grade. He was not allowed this year because old school system did not test kids for gifted program. Thanks everyone for encouragement.
Sound like he made a good choice. Good luck to him! I hope his HS experience is good from here on. If he sticks with this positive path, he will do great whether at Duke, a BSMD or other path.
I don’t think an honest response to a situation is harsh. Regrettably poor academic results have consequences at the most elite schools like Duke.
“I do not think a competitive college is going to draw negative conclusions from a young teen’s stumbling as he learned the ropes of an unfamiliar high school.”
A 3.00 freshman GPA resulting from two Fs will drag down a cumulative GPA and class rank. This will damage the students chances of admission to a school like Duke that previously had 1,914 Valedictorians apply and only accepted 29%.
My advice was to apply and pursue that dream but do so with eyes open and find alternatives that will make you happy. Telling someone it doesn’t matter or the admissions people will look past it is Wishful not reality.
Two points. One. An admissions officer is not looking at an application that talks about a difficult transition to a new high school and thinking to herself, hmm, this kid has trouble making transitions and may not transition well to college. There’s an awful lot of maturity that’s gained in those four high school years and in any event, the transition to college is a very different phenomenon.
Two. Several posters have minimized the effect of a big move to an area where the kid is completely unfamiliar. I might have done the same had I not been through it. It can be extremely difficult, even traumatic. Sure, all kids start high school fresh. But most kids have at least a familiar face around. Most kids have the context of familiar neighborhood, outside activities, church, even places to shop or eat. Mine had to find a new coach for her main EC and really didn’t know how to break into the activities in her new HS. You’d think you just sign up for things but it turned out not to be so simple. When you move, you start all over again. Sure, kids who were friends in middle school form new friendships in high school. But they start from a base of having friends from whom to move on. A new kid comes in alone and has no one until he starts to finds new connections. That takes time. It’s not easy and it’s not automatic for everyone. It can be exciting but it’s really not fair to minimize it. That’s the “kinda harsh” comment.
How the grades will be viewed is something I can’t comment on. Nor would I. To me, the grades are largely irrelevant to what’s important. I wouldn’t even be looking at college planning at this point. The focus for me would be getting my child to adjust and find his place. It sounds like OP’s kid has made the adjustment and is feeling comfortable and that’s great. In that parent’s position, I’d let my child thrive and see where he is in another year before I started talking college. Who knows what this kid will want or what he will have achieved in that time?
I DID make this transition, from a good hs where i was tops to a nationally top- and have said repeatedly, no regrets. There were adjustments. Of course it changed my possibilities. But i grew.
Adcoms can be harsh. Sure. But this kid’s future isn’t doomed. Most have no idea what this kid will amount to, in 2.5 years.
Getting an F is a big problem later in hs. Snapping out of a first sem 9th grade hole is different.
You don’t know this kid. Let him and his family see where the chips fall.
hi @dert29 I don’t know if you are still reading but I am glad to hear that your kid will stay on track. My student switched into a grade that was not the same student cohort they started in. Everybody (kids) knew within days, everyone commented. My student had a rough rough time that year.
Just in case you are wondering, my student did not repeat a grade, they skipped a grade at the school’s suggestion. I have seen it both ways (skip and repeat), but there is unfortunately something about the American public school system that makes kids identify with a particular “class of 20xx” and when they are not in the class where “they belong” everyone is uncomfortable. I underestimated the effect that this would have on my kid and so i am glad to see you are rejecting this idea for yours. Best of luck to you!
I know lots of kids who have skipped ahead, and lots of kids who have stayed back. And I don’t agree with thingamafig that this is always bad or uniquely American.
But I do think the rationale behind a move needs to be more thought out than just “kid had a bad semester so let’s take a do-over”. I’ve seen kids stay back because they had a serious (life threatening) medical issue so they missed most of a year of school- nobody said boo and it worked out beautifully. I’ve seen kids skip a grade because they had an undiagnosed learning issue or behavioral issue/immaturity and once that was addressed it was clear that the kid needed to be pushed ahead. (like a boy who is held back from starting kindergarten because he’s deemed “not ready”, but by fourth grade his developmental age has caught up with his chronological age so now he’s mismatched).
But a rough patch after moving doesn’t sound like justification for doing anything besides telling a kid that you love him unconditionally and he can always come to talk to you regardless of how he’s feeling, performing, etc. and that you will always be in his corner.
I am pleased to see that the OP’s son plans to continue with team sports, singing in the chorus, and pursuing other activities. These are important in US college admissions, though they may not be in the system that the OP is familiar with. When the son is in his junior year, if he is still interested in a career in the medical field, he may want to pursue medically-related volunteer activities as well, or volunteer activities in the community that are not necessarily related to medicine.
hi @blossom. Just to clarify, I didn’t say it was “always bad”. just wanted to address the potential social consequences. A boy I know…math genius…basically had to skip a grade for his own healthy development, BUT he called it “social suicide”. In fact, for our student changing grades was ultimately good…that’s why the school suggested it and that’s why we did it. But there has been a social consequence and that is the multiple small moments of discomfort because someone stepped “out of line”. definitely builds up the social “grit” and social resilience.
Possibly we are in a more conformist state of the US than others, I am sure that makes a difference. For example, 5 years later we still have to update the student id (which begins with graduation year and is assigned in kindergarten) for our student. each fall. because they fail to change their “permanent record” which stays with you. and each time the school district demands an explanation from us for the requested change…a change that they initiated. so that would be my perspective – probably based on many fewer experiences than others here at CC.