<p>Well, not quite the entire weekend, but Thursday night, Friday and Saturday. This was a second look for my D, the first since her acceptance into the College of Arts and Sciences. </p>
<p>Thursday night: Dinner in town at our favorite, Weia Teia at 9 Main Street. It's even more eclectic than last summer. I had the Chicken Cheese Cake. Surprise! It's an entree, not a dessert. It was absolutely fabulous. Outside, it was sort of cold, but there clearly were families with accepted students in tow, wandering around the town. </p>
<p>Friday: A mob scene. Well, kind of. Oberlin administration were shocked by the number of people that showed up on the first day of "All Roads Lead to Oberlin." One of them admitted it privately. They miscalulated. They didn't think so many people would use Good Friday and Easter Weekend to visit their college. There weren't enough seats or tables during lunch, which, by the way, was held for all visitors in Carnegie (Admissions & Financial Aid building) instead of a dining hall. Lunch was nothing special. And that's a good thing, because there were so many people. They saved money by going cheap. </p>
<p>We all registered and our student picked up a thick white folder containing information and goodies. Upstairs on the second floor they set up a "Resource Fair." Everything on campus from the Co-ops to the ExCos to the Oberlin Technology Center (buy your student's PC on campus and you'll save money and they will service it if something breaks) and a dozen more Oberlin "vendors"--too many for me to remember. But I thought it was very worthwhile. </p>
<p>At a few minutes before 10 am, most of the student visitors took off to attend the class of their choice (repeated at 11 am). My daughter attended a class on advanced music theory, then Sociology at 11. Here's the good and the bad. The GOOD: parents and siblings could attend the classes too, provided there was enough room. Very cool. The BAD: this was very much not organized by Oberlin. It was "do it on your own." By contrast, we had visited Dickinson College on Wednesday for a similar purpose, and they ran their visitation for accepted students like a Swiss watch.</p>
<p>Lunch followed the 11 am class visits. After lunch, there was a series of panel discussions. For the first one, they separated the parents and students. Student siblings tended to participate in the student session. The parents session was absolutely packed (Did I say they were shocked by the number of people that showed up? Did I say they were not a well-oiled and organized machine?). It was so packed in the auditorium, parents had to stand against the walls, some sat on steps in the aisles, completely blocking the aisles, some got frustrated by the crowd and left. Then the room blew up.</p>
<p>After a softball question for the four panelists (four staff members), your's truly threw out a bomb. I asked about the "communal bathrooms" in the dorms, if it was true that boys and girls would use the same bathroom at the same time, including the showers. You could've heard a pin drop among the massive crowd of parents. My impression was a significant number of them had never heard this "rumor" that I wanted confirmed or dismissed. Many of them tapped me on the shoulder or approached me afterwards and either confessed they didn't know about this kind of "permissiveness" or to tell me that they were Oberlin alumns and they didn't think it was a big deal. The shocked parents outnumbered the "no big deal" parents by about 5 to 1.</p>
<p>After the panelists did their best to "explain" the policy, several parents asked follow-up questions on the same issue. Parents of daughters were particularly concerned. There was a big debate about secret ballots (of students deciding their dorm bathroom policy) and if they were really secret. A couple of sets of parents weren't happy and left the room. I hope I didn't ruin this year's yield. Oops! All I did was ask for clarification. One of the parents not bothered by the communal bathrooms insisted this type of policy is very common in colleges today. Uh, I don't think so. As I indicated earlier, I was at Dickinson all day two days ago, and they do NOT have that kind of policy. The most risque they get is boys and girls "wings" on the same floor, or boys and girls floors, but totally separate bathing facilities. That appears to be the policy in the traditional dorms. It's a bit looser in upper class loft apartment style housing.</p>
<p>The afternoon panels at Oberlin were without tension, perhaps because I decided not to ask any questions. Later we visited the library where my Penn State older daughter was allowed to use one of Oberlin's PCs to sign in to a class at Penn State (Oberlin is very friendly). I managed to read about 1/3 of one of Ariana Huffington's latest books in the library cafe while every one else walked around the facility. </p>
<p>Outside we ran into many of the parents of accepted students whom we had met earlier in the day and chatted them up again. Some of their students had already committed to Oberlin. Others, like my daughter, were still weighing their options, and most we spoke with were weighing the cost of Oberlin vs. U of Michigan or Penn State or U of Virginia, places like that. There were a couple of Oberlin vs. Vassar or Oberlin vs. Colgate pending decisions, but most were Oberlin vs. a top state school. </p>
<p>My wife and I had a private discussion session with one of the financial aid counselors earlier in the day. We got nowhere with this person, which was disappointing. We're going to appeal in writing to the financial aid committee. There was a parade of parents in the financial aid office during the day. Bring your lawyer. Just kidding. But definitely bring financial aid offers received from other schools. </p>
<p>We had dinner out in the suburbs (North Olmstead). There were several restaurants within walking distance of the Marriott Courtyard, and there was a big shopping mall right across the street. We picked the Macaroni Grill. Turns out when we checked into the hotel, I was asked the nature of our visit, and was informed that there were "a ton of other families visiting Oberlin" that had checked in earlier. The hotel is about 19 miles from Oberlin, in the direction of Cleveland. Don't believe them when they tell you it will take 35 minutes to go from the Marriott to Oberlin. It took us 22 minutes. There is also a Radisson across the street from the Marriott and a Hampton Inn next day. Obviously, several familes felt the cheaper, closer to Oberlin hotels were not nice enough (e.g, Comfort Inn). I thought we would be the only people who felt that way but, obviously, I was wrong. One dad I met on campus did stay close but picked a Bed and Breakfast. I should add, the Oberlin Inn is very nice but almost always crowded and the rooms are tiny. I stayed at the Oberlin Inn last summer and thought the bathroom was intended for a doll house. </p>
<p>On Saturday (today), we checked out of our hotel and drove into Oberlin to eat breatfast at the famous Black River Cafe. They opened at 9:00. There must've been a line, because we arrived at 9:15 and had to wait for a table. There was a ton more parents at the Black River Cafe, some we recognized from the Friday events. They waved. There was a long waiting line the entire time we were there. Verdict on the food: My kids loved the pancakes and waffles. I was not impressed. It was average, I thought. I know it's probably heresy for me to say that but I had high expectations based on a recommendation from another parent on this board. It was okay, but not worth standing in line for. In all fairness, my opinion is the outlier in my family. :) But like most places in the town of Oberlin, it was a homey, friendly, feel-good kind of place. But I've had better pancakes at Perkins. After breakfast, we sort of walked it off by strolling down to the Oberlin Art Museum. It is small but excellent. I highly recommend it. We passed an Easter Egg Hunt for kids that was taking place in Tappan Square but started at the main intersection in town. </p>
<p>Here's how my youngest daughter, the accepted student, felt about the college. She really, really likes it and does not seem put off by the idea of communal bathrooms, if that happens. I am put off by it, but I'm just the Dad. She commented how the kids at Oberlin are not "preppy" like Dickinson. Oberlin kids are more individualistic, open-minded, tolerant, and definitely nerdy, which I think she uses as a euphemism for "brainiacs." She very much prefers the culture at Oberlin to Penn State and Dickinson, the only other schools she is steriously considering. She loves the total absence of Greek life. She feels Oberlin is the right "fit" for her, but is still not 100% committed and won't say exactly why. I think it's because of the distance. Oberlin is the farthest of any of the 11 colleges to which she applied. It's a seven hour drive or a plane ride, which she is not keen on. She's never flown by herself. She's never been away from home. A part of her is very reluctant to be "out there" so far away from anybody she knows. I believe that is her fear, and I don't know how to approach the topic with her constructively. When I try, she refuses and changes the subject. </p>
<p>At this point, I'm not sure what she'll decide. She likes Dickinson well enough and loves the one hour and forty minute drive time from our house. She's just about ruled out Penn State, because she really wants Oberlin but is reluctant to make the leap. Dickinson is a fine school, but I'd hate to see her pass up Oberlin for reasons that have nothing to do with academics or campus culture or faculty or facilities and, instead, soley on distance.</p>
Funny, my parents called me wild and permissive when I was in college (compared to their day) 
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