<p>Okay, as dumb as this sounds, I'm going there. I have never heard of, or seen, a "skull shirt". I'm assuming it's a tee shirt with a picture of a....skull? I was at D high school on a daily basis, 3000 kids, till she graduated last May and never saw one. Is this a new trend, a regional fashion, does the skull per say have meaning? I called asked D last night, and she hadn't a clue either!</p>
<p>Good afternoon!</p>
<p>The kid is keeping in contact ..more or less. Anyway, the problem. For as long as i can remember, she has held the bar higher for herself than her we, her parentsw have.</p>
<p>Middle school " waaaaah I failed the test" reality = A (oh boo hoo).
High school " I think I really blew my AP exam" reality = 4 (oh boo hoo).</p>
<p>College ..frantic call..tears...sobbing..."I'm going to drop the class" Mom--well how was the mid-term. "I haven't taken it yet" Mom-- "...."</p>
<p>For a long time, I have had to bring her down out of this self-imposed panic state. Any hints for other strategies? We remind her that she is the pressuring herself, all we ask is she do her best, but she feels this need to uber-excel. </p>
<p>Any help will be greatly appreciated. All I want to do is run down there and hug her...except I am 600 miles away : (</p>
<p>Silvermoon,
Realize that you're probably a great listening ear, way for her to vent and blow off steam. </p>
<p>I used to be that kind of drama queen. I'd call mom with my upsetting tales, blow off (including sometimes crying), and afterward would feel great, while meanwhile Mom was the one who was upset.</p>
<p>The best thing that you can do is stay calm and realize that your child is doing fine, and is perfectly capable of handling these upsets herself. And keep in mind that while she's crying "catastrophe" her track record has been that she gets upset over mountains in molehills, so no reason for you to allow her calls to ruin your day.</p>
<p>Anybody?</p>
<p>Ga2012 mom,
Yes, it's a shirt with a skull on it. Usually multiple skulls. I just don't like them. check out JC penney.com if you want to see what they look like.</p>
<p>Silvermoonlock,
She's clearly afraid of not doing well. Ask her what she thinks is the worst thing that will happen if she gets a bad grade. The answer may be very insightful.</p>
<p>Silvermoonlock,</p>
<p>Also remind her that she has an opportunity to improve her grade with her final exam and that some courses will be more difficult.</p>
<p>You know, sometimes you just have to give thanks for all blessings : )</p>
<p>This was in the morning paper, and I e-mailed it to the kid. (Along with an early AM random I love you text ) She responded and I think Northstarmom has it nailed. She needs to vent, who else to, but Mom!! Anyway, she thanked me for the article and said it encouraged her : )</p>
<p>Life lessons from students admitted through the Office of Special Programs at what is now the University of Detroit Mercy:</p>
<p> Be persistent. Always keep trying.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you're having difficulty with a particular course, seek out support resources available on campus.
Establish a support network for each class. That can be a study group or study partner.
If study habits or organizational skills are an issue, tap into resources on campus that can help.
Surround yourself with positive people who share your same values of achievement and success.
Find mentors. Identify people who can work with you and who believe you have a future.
Believe in yourself and know that no matter how tough it gets, you can still make it.
Immerse yourself in university life. Be open to new people, challenges and experiences.
Be willing to learn and grow from others not like ourselves.
Give back to your community now. Not later. Find ways to be helpful to senior citizens on your block; tutor younger kids; become an advocate for those in need.
Never let anyone tell you that you cannot attend college, or that you are not qualified. Take the initiative to find out what's needed and work very hard to attain those qualifications.
Spend a few days at each of several different types of professional work sites so that you can get a feel for the nature of the work and qualifications required.</p>
<p>We have given her this information before, but I think having it listed and see it is coming from successful people other than us, may mean something.</p>
<p>Silvermoonlock is smiling today :)</p>
<p>Can I get a turn at the worried-about-my-D thing? D called to say she was making an appointment with a counselor. "We" have been there before, and "we" know what this means.(Rather not go into details). Turns wt she puts on a happy face for calls home, but she is really "lonely at night", when there are no classes or activities to distract her. Anyway, she's involved with lots of activities and has connected with several upper classman who are pointing her in the right direction, but she seems less connected with the kids on the freshman campus. Shoot. It seemed too good to be true.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap,
Maybe she's just more mature than the other freshmen. My daughter says there is rampant heavy drinking among freshmen on her campus and she's not inclined to participate. She called me today to say she wants to come home for Halloween because one of her high school friends is having a party. I wish I had some advice for your daughter. I really think time is the only remedy for finding the right group of people to hang out with.</p>
<p>I'm sure you are right, and she is not into the drinking scene AT ALL!. There is a freshman or two she likes to hang out with, but they live nearby and go home often on the weekends. Why can't they just go to sleep at night? Didn't they do that one upon a time?</p>
<p>No. Never in the history of college have kids gone to bed at a reasonable hour. </p>
<p>Note to all parents: While driving to work this morning, I prayed that God would watch over the recalcitrant S who is taking the PSAT as we speak and D who won't go to the student health center for her cough. Then I told Him I was releasing them to Him today.
I can't tell you how much better I felt after that.</p>
<p>Hi everyone.I am a new poster but a long time reader of CC.
Texasmama like you my S took the PSAT today. He is so clueless he asked me on Monday when is the test.
D2 is a college freshman. I told her before she left for school to go to the health center if she doesn't feel good. She replied she does not think she will ever need to . That's when I realized she was psychic.
Dealing with teenagers make me miss changing diapers.</p>
<p>Hi ontheedge. Love your screen name! I don't miss changing diapers, though.But I do miss holding hands as we cross the street. There's something about having those little hands in mine that is so comforting.</p>
<p>My son took the PSAT today too, as a practice, (he is 9th grade). He told me it was "hard" and "easy." :)</p>
<p>Hello, all. I have some info to share that responds to earlier posts about students studying abroad. I indicated that my D is spending a semester in Spain. She arrived in September and was having a great time until recently. This past weekend, she travelled to Barcelona with some other students from her program (not students of color). Within an hour of her arrival, she was pickpocketed. Apparently, Barcelona is notorious for pickpocketing. Her recollection is that she had taken her wallet out to pay for the metro, had placed it back in her purse, locked her purse and turned the lock towards her body. She's not sure how it happened, but it did. She contacted the police, but they were not at all helpful. They asked her if she knew who did it! So, we cancelled credit cards, etc. and made arrangements for the delivery of replacement cards and the like. Also, the incident is not isolated. Another student in the same program also was robbed in Barcelona the weekend before my daughter's visit.</p>
<p>As if being pickpocketed was not traumatic enough, that evening she went to a local disco. The big social thing for young people in Spain is to go out to the discos and mingle in the evenings. However, my D was accosted at the disco by the bouncer and was taken out of the club because she is black. Her friends, who were not black, did not witness what happened and my D had to pay a very high entrance fee, one that no one else had to pay, to get back inside so as not to be separated from her friends. </p>
<p>I was very distressed by both experiences, but I've got to admit the pickpocketing bothered me less than her being treated the way she was at the disco. I've heard that the Spanish are not accustomed to blacks and that they may be "curious" but I never expected my child would have been subjected to that humiliation and discrimination. There also was potential danger, from my point of view. Who knows whether or not those types of attitudes can spill over into violence. I've counseled her to share her experiences with both the local study abroad coordinator and with the study abroad coordinator at her college. They need to know that these things can happen so that they can counsel other students and so students can prepare themselves if they decide to study in Spain.</p>
<p>Marnimom, sorry that your daughter had to go through that experience. How long will she be in Spain? How is she feeling about staying on?</p>
<p>Marnimom I am so sorry your daughter is having these problems. Yes, Barcelona is notorious for pick pocketers. This, though, could be chalked up to "life lessons." The disco episode is of a completely different realm. I am surprised this happened in Barcelona. Yes, unfortunately there is racism across Europe but usually when there is the perception of economic threat by African immigrants. I don't think such perception arises in Barcelona which makes your daughter's experience even worse.</p>
<p>I hope she sticks it out. Like the US there are a*&holes around the world. But there are lovely warm and giving people around the world also. I hope this was an isolated incident for her and she gives Barcelona another chance (if you couldn't guess I LOVE Barcelona).</p>
<p>Oh and in response to what do we miss the most? I miss the night time snuggle to read a story before bed.</p>
<p>Marnimom, Thanks for sharing. I will definitely remember this if my children travel to Spain. I hope things get better for your daughter. </p>
<p>In response to what I miss, I miss the noise (it's a lot quieter with only 1 at home). Also I miss watching movies together and having the house filled with music.</p>
<p>Marnimon I am sorry to hear about the racist incident your D encountered. Like Triguena said I hope she sticks it out and not make ignorance ruin her experience.</p>