<p>Oh no! I just found this thread. My son is only a 10th grader. I hope it doesn’t die out.</p>
<p>SMIA - - hope you drop by, at least to post info re: OU.</p>
<p>SMIA, I think i said something similar last year. Now my family is making jokes about me because I’m still hovering around this site even though my youngest will be finishing her first year in a few weeks. Lol. </p>
<p>I too hope you will still check in from time to time. :)</p>
<p>@reeinaz – while this joint no longer “jumps” as it once did, I feel sure the activity level here is cyclic & will rise again. It’ll be up to awesome newcomers like you to be sure to check in and post once in awhile to keep things afloat. 
</p>
<p>Welcome! W/a son in 10th, you couldn’t have arrived at a better time!</p>
<p>I think, however, that black females are more likely to be concerned about the racial ratio because it’s not as easy for them to date outside of their race as it is for black males.</p>
<p>I think that’s starting to change, thankfully.</p>
<p>I concur.^^^</p>
<p>Most of the male students that seem interested in my 14 yo D (who cannot date yet) are not black.</p>
<p>SuperMom, Milk and Sugar, Prefect:</p>
<p>My kids were born and grew up in Minnesota, not in Minneapolis but in a 98% white, predominately Republican suburb. My kids are biracial. My in-laws are on the faculty at NDSU, and we’ve been to Fargo-Moorhead. Moorhead has an annual Scandinavian Festival. We attended once several years back when the kids were little. I was the only all-black person in the entire festival. My D1 received a full ride merit scholarship offer to attend NDSU despite mediocre high school grades (below 3.0). No influence by uncle or auntie. I think the school was desperate for any student that checked the “African American” box (she checked the “Caucasian” box too). Plus, her SATs put her in the top 10% of NDSU admits. We did not apply for financial aid. She turned it down but not because of racial issues or concerns. Several of her white classmates and friends were going to NDSU. I think a black kid with either extremely high grades or extremely high SATs, could probably waltz into NDSU on a full ride. That’s how desperate they are to enroll African Americans with either strong test scores or a strong transcript. And I don’t think it’s a bad environment for a black or biracial student who is used to be in a overwhelmingly white environment, academically and socially.</p>
<p>I came here when my D was applying, and she will be a senior in college next year.</p>
<p>Relatedly, think realy hard about letting your child go to a reach just because they get in.</p>
<p><glares @=“” plainsman=“”> Arrrrghhh!! Where WERE you when I was dithering on the fence about this one??! I got nuthin’ but grief & somber prognostications about NDSU and now I’m spending the big out-of-pocket bucks to send her to Ohio! :-)</glares></p>
<p>Nah, really - even paying close to full-freight (only modest merit at OU due to middlin’ SATs - 1100 M/V), I still choose it over NDSU. I kept procrastinating at drumming up the cash for air tix for 3 to drop in at NDSU. Everything else seemed more important, and by the time I looked around, prices were outrageous. Ohio University is a modest 5/6hr drive or a couple hundred $$ RT. Much easier to have the baby come home on the regular. I think this, the Speech Team, & its Cultural Connections wknd savvy enough to pander to us parents as well as the kids – was a huge seller.</p>
<p>@Shrinkrap - were u talkin’ to me? OU’s not a reach for S, her SATs & GPA put her smack dab in the middle 50. Her verbal is top10-15% :-)</p>
<p>@Carmen&Co & other poster - did I miss the dating convo? Couldn’t find the quote referenced, but I don’t know that I’d concur based on our experience. Fingers crossed that Ohio will yield D a wide spectrum of educational opportunities! :-)</p>
<p>I feel a little guilty that we were done so early in this process. D had acceptances in hand for all of her choices in early Dec either through rolling admissions or EA. She made her decision in early January. We did one last visit on scholarship students day and we sent in commitment deposit after that. She will be attending University of Georgia. Its where she has always said that she wanted to go and its instate. With the state HOPE scholarship plus the additional merit she got, it was also the best financially so we both got what we wanted.</p>
<p>UGA is about 7% AA, most of the schools she seriously considered were 5-7%, all of which are a bit different from the 50% at her HS so it will be a bit different for her but I think its a welcomed difference. She has never really “fit in” with most people at her HS from what she wears to the music she listens to. She and I both are so tired of hearing that she “acts white” when she is just being herself.</p>
<p>I am excited about the next chapter and can’t wait to see what it brings.</p>
<p>On the dating thing: I still see way more black guy/white girls than vice versa so maybe its just where you are…I am in Georgia.</p>
<p>“@Shrinkrap - were u talkin’ to me? OU’s not a reach for S, her SATs & GPA put her smack dab in the middle 50. Her verbal is top10-15% :-)”</p>
<p>No, just reacting to a distressing phone call from my D earlier that day…I’ve forgotten, but there is some name for those calls. </p>
<p>I admit it is affecting how I am viewing some of the options son has been given, although their situations were different. D’s grades where fine for her schools, but even with a 2K+ SAT, she was in the 25 percentile for the school she ended up in, in that regard. Son, OTOH, has SAT’s in the 75 percentile for most of his schools, but a GPA in the 25th.</p>
<p>My kids are going to be going to schools with the same, or more black kids than they have grown up with.Son has only “gone out with” white girls, although he has never had a “girlfriend” ( which he was not ashamed to announce to the entire school at a recent school function. Gotta love him.).</p>
<p>“think realy hard about letting your child go to a reach just because they get in.”</p>
<p>Agreed. I’ve been preaching this for a while now. I can’t personally imagine wanting to be the least qualified person in the class. Just because you get in, does not necessarily mean that you can handle the material. Some kids thrive on that kind of challenge. Others just wilt and fade away from the extreme stress.</p>
<p>^^^ I think about this often. My kid is a middle of the pack child. He has no desire to be number one and is fine as long as he isn’t the worst. I think he would be ok as long as he felt like he knew the material even if others outperformed him. But he’s not yet been in a situation where he was in over his head. How can you really tell if it’s the work that’s too difficult or if it’s the other kids that are crazy brilliant?</p>
<p>The school where my oldest attended had an AA population of about 10%, which would have been about 1,300 undergrad students. That didn’t really seem to solve any dating issues though. According to her it was still “slim pickins” once you sifted out all the undesirable baggage, attitudes, personal tastes, etc. I think the dating scene is tough for profssionally ambitious black females no matter where they are. I’m a very protective dad and even I felt bad for her at times. Here’s this stunningly beautiful, talented young woman - got plenty of attention, but zero qualified suitors. Ridiculous. More often than not, they really have to be patient, I think. </p>
<p>Fortunately that advice paid off for D1 - she’s long out of undergrad, but the wedding’s next month. One down, two to go. And I’m making sure the younger two are taking notes from their older sister. Wish it could be easier for all of them though.</p>
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<p>In our case, I just looked at how much work was being put into it. I could always tell when they were just kind of going through the motions versus putting forth a serious effort. If the effort wasn’t there, I’d conclude the real problem was lack of interest. If they were working hard with mixed results, I’d conclude they were being challenged, which was fine. But those were the only two conclusions I allowed. The notion that others were brilliant could be acknowledged, but that others were generally “more brilliant” was not an acceptable brand of thinking. Yeah, yeah, I know, I brainwashed em. Made parenting a little easier though :).</p>
<p>My D is also one of those with no desire to be number one and is fine as long as she isn’t the worst. But she does have a hard time dealing with what she calls “stupid people who ask stupid questions”. That has been her biggest complaint in HS. While UGA is not the most intellectual college and she is in the 75th percentile SAT, we hope that since it is more selective than her other choices that she will not have to encounter those situations much.</p>
<p>@flvadad- care to share some of the wisdom from D1 in finding eligible suitors? Is it all about having patience…which my D has very little of.</p>
<p>After all my gabbing during the past couple of years, now it’s time for the rubber to meet the road. Lake Jr. and I are headed off on our first college trips next week. Junior attends a very good and competitive suburban high school that unfortunately, has its share of kids and families whom look down their noses at your aspirations if those aspirations don’t include the Ivy League. I was an ambitious working-class teenager who made his way into one of the popularly characterized “elite” colleges, but I’ve tried to instill in Lake Jr. the idea that college is what you make of it. I think I’ve done a good job because he tells me that he rolls his eyes whenever White and Asian classmates second-guess his curiousity about a few non-Ivy colleges. Would he be in over his head at an Ivy or Michigan or MIT? Right now they would all be reaches, but I’m confident he would survive. But would he do well and even thrive? Too early to tell.</p>
<p>on the theme above of whether our kids can survive the “crazy brilliance” of a select group - I LOVE FLVADAD’s approach and took a similar one w/my adopted youngest. When she was old enough to understand what a “crack-baby” was, and learned in health class how drugs can impact the brains of babies in the womb, she shut down mentally and decided that everyone else was simply “smarter” than she was. Honestly? Certain test results seemed to support a bit of that thinking. So I didn’t share those test results w/her. </p>
<p>Instead, I RODE HER BUTT through all the years when I thought maybe I was crazy and everyone else was right and I was pushing her beyond her capacity. This year: 5.0 weighted GPA her 1st quarter, 4.5 the second (for those who may not know, weighted GPAs are possible at our school when the kid takes honors or AP classes). She has blown it out of the water. The harder she tries, and the more successes she earns, the more she realizes that she could have done this all along. I am in constant prayer & tears of joy. </p>
<p>So does that mean that others aren’t crazy brilliant? No. But the brilliant are few, and it takes more than brilliance to “make it.” Half the battle is showing up an trying. I think all our children can have their own moments of brilliance. The parents who find their way to this site, have kids who by virtue of their parenting, need worry about nothing - academically speaking.</p>
<p>My Friends,</p>
<p>I am a convert. A cheerleader. A total, zany, NUTCASE over this school! Ohio U ROCKS!!! O.M.G.!! My husband never goes ANYWHERE, was totally against paying to send the kid to an OOS school. Stuck on D’s past performance, he swore cheaper was better. NO MORE. </p>
<p>Ohio Univ is an amazing place. Okay, I can talk about the decent retention rate, grad rate, world-class communication programming & stunning visual beauty of the campus – but I’m talkin’; about the PEEPS, people! At this wknd’s shindig, we got to mix it up w/the university staff as well as other families. I LOVE it that OU’s visit program included FAMILIES. Holy Cow, EVERYBODY was just like US! Never have my husband and I felt so instantly connected to a group of people: Black professionals, hard-working middle class families w/solid values. The kids are a fabulous, talented, intelligent bunch. The school’s black prez gave a stirring speech at the very well done semi-formal dinner. I’m typing this from my (free) luxury hotel room (thanks, OU!) where I have totally surrendered to the idea of doing THIS for the next four years:</p>
<p>"Thank you sir, for allowing me to give you this money. Would you like some more? Is there anything else I can do for you? Empty my pockets, you say? A blood donation?? No problem! I appreciate the opportunity. Just let me know what I can do for YOU! <grin></grin></p>
<p>Oh LAWDY!</p>
<p>I’m jealous! Still haven’t found what we are looking for.</p>