<p><em>doing a happy dance 4 Shrinkrap</em></p>
<p>CONGRATULATIONS on Duke!! (((hugggggs))). Hope your D's thrilled!</p>
<p>p.s. underage drinking is exactly why we stopped having those "neighborhood's best parties." Despite having a LOT of adult supervision at my D's 13th bday blowout, invitees STILL managed to smuggle in alcohol, makeout, and in general add about 150 more gray hairs to my aging head. I figured a graceful exit from the party scene was in order.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I do not give alcohol to underage people.
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</p>
<p>Based on my parent's example bringing me up, I have allowed my children to have SIPS of the drinks my wife and I occasionally share at home, and of course the kids are revolted by the taste, as I was at the same age. I never have been drunk in my life, and correspondingly I've never had a DWI charge in my life. I had a social circle in my college days of nondrinking friends. I would never, EVER serve a drink to anyone under the legal age (as contrasted with letting my own children in my presence taste a drink I had served myself) and I think my children too have a social circle of families where the adults drink, a little, but the young people below the legal age don't drink.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap,</p>
<p>Congrats to D on Duke.</p>
<p>SMIA, </p>
<p>See just when you thought it was safe to take the bit S off your chest and hang up the cape.</p>
<p>I am glad that everything is now ok and babygirl is now in check. For a minute, I thought that you were going to open the large family size can of whoop on some folks mmmm.... honey, I was scared for some people.</p>
<p>Hey, you've heard it time and time again... this too will pass.</p>
<p>Absolutely no alcohol other than a little wine over the holidays with dinner, or a little indulgence on trips to Europe. </p>
<p>However, we do enjoy a little nip now and then with the oldest who is now of legal drinking age and responsible.</p>
<p>Although I do not agree with our nation's alcohol consumption laws, which I think encourage a binge drinking mentality, I would never serve alcohol to underage Americans. I have served an occasional beer or glass of wine with dinner to a 20 yr old European university student living with us who had graduated from HS and completed compulsory army service. (And who had a part-time job as a bartender when he returned home to make spending money while at university!) Of course, he wasn't driving anywhere.</p>
<p>I would certainly not serve alcohol to HS students, or wink at their consuming it in our house or elsewhere.</p>
<p>SMIA--So happy to hear about the "reprieve". This gives you time to make thoughtful decisions instead of reacting to crisis. Always a superior position to be in!</p>
<p>Shrinkrap--congrats to your D (and you)!</p>
<p>Thanks to all who have responded to the "poll" question. Anybody see cultural differences in how parents answer this question? Socioeconomic differences? </p>
<p>I see how students drink at college and it frightens me. Yes, there was certainly drinking when I went to college and I... well let's just say, I did have my share of fun in college. However, we did not play "beer pong" nor did we "pregame" by drinking BEFORE we went to a party. It is just scary.</p>
<br>
<blockquote> <blockquote> <blockquote> <p>Anybody see cultural differences in how parents answer this question? Socioeconomic differences? </p> </blockquote> </blockquote> </blockquote>
<br>
<p><em>laughing</em> Always! Here's some other cultural/socioeconomic stuff I've been thinking about of late:</p>
<p>Asian Dominance: Think the advantage is only in higher ed? Check out the final four in "America's Best Dance Crews" Thursdays at 10p on MTV. Predominantly Asian crews Jabberwocky & Kaba Modern are SCHOOLING both black AND white dance crews with crazy "ill" hip hop dance moves, tricks & choreography. And note the increasing saturation of Asian influence in finance, science & U.S. pop culture (Anime). To quote SuperDad (-he-ain't): "Yep. You right. They some bad*ss people an' I wanna be dey BEST friend!"</p>
<p>Politics: Hillary vs. Obama - O. Mi. G*d. I NEVER thought I'd be living in a day and age where I'd have a tear-me-in-half choice like THIS! I had to have (cute male) assistance and oxygen at our local primary recently. When I looked at that ballot and saw stark proof of the reality staring back at me, I just about had a freaking cow. HILLARY VS. OBAMA!! SOMEWHERE the gods of mischief are giggling like HECK over this.</p>
<p>Booty-shaking: When I was ohhh . . . 3 or so, I remember walking along a sidewalk as a Carnival parade of steel pan drummers and brightly-plummaged, energetic dancers, gyrated and strutted along with them. I was entranced. My grandmother was horrified. She leaned down, covered my eyes and hurried me along down a side street, away from "dem jammet wimen." Fast forward a quarter of a century or so. As a young mom, I turn on BET (Black Entertainment Television, for the uninitiated) and BAM!! Live, in color, plastered on my tv screen - gyrating, undulating, leg liftin', booty-shakin' dancers ala that striking tableau from 3 yr old memory! Well I did just exactly what any self-respecting young parent would do! I ordered my own 3yr old out of the room -- and set about learnin' them MOVES, man! Tootsie roooooll, tootsie roooooll! <em>sigh</em> Yeah. I'm ashamed. I am over 40, and I love hip hop and <em>hangs head</em> . . . rap. Does my affliction, the suggestive dances, increased single parent households, and teen promiscuity indicate that majority suspicions about promiscuous black culture was right all along???! </p>
<p>special end note: I peeped both D's ipods and discovered something shocking: Christian, Country(!), Broadway tunes, 50's rock - 70's funk, and CLASSICAL selections occupied as much time as contemporary rock & pop! With the exception of a small nod to Kanye West - VERY little rap! What the heck is going ON with this generation??</p>
<p>SuperMom I can tell you what's going on with the music:).</p>
<p>It's the white teen boys who know every beat and every bounce of the hip hop and rap canon. At least if my son is a representative datapoint....</p>
<p>He will have long discussions with me (long in teen boy terms that is) about the merits of Chris Brown and Lupe Fiasco and Rihanna's voice and Beyonce and so on and so forth although with Beyonce it's not exactly her voice that has his attention... He even spends his free time making "beats" on a synthesizer. Imagine sampling Joan Armatrading.</p>
<p>In one of those conversations that teen boys like where you have to rate some category of things, he told me that Sam Cooke's "A Change is Gonna Come" is the greatest song of all time.</p>
<p>So, from those in the know, does this make him a wannabe? Other than this, he has no particular dress or speech affectations that set him apart from the throngs of other upper middle class white teen boys in Silicon Valley.</p>
<p>I don't know how to think about the " wannabe" stuff. My son is the only Black kid among his friends. He is always being told he's not "Black " enough. This year he gave up soccer for basketball, want's Hip Hop dance LESSONS (if my family ever heard that. ...) and his grades are down
( I hope that's just a freshman thing... he's never been a great student)..</p>
<p>With regard to my D, thanks for all the congrats. Any thoughts or literature out there regarding URM success at Duke? I read somewhere GPA's tend to be lower. I so don't want my question to be used in some AA debate, but I'd like to know. What about kids in the bottom 25 percentile or with few "rigorous" classes in general? This " Duke" thing all came about because of a "Black Student Alliance Invitational" where she will spend several days with a host enjoying festivities. I believe this will be a huge eye-opener for her. Could be love or hate. Then we'll have to deal with the cost/benefit stuff. People told me this day would come, but I never really thought I'd consider paying full price for a private school.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap,
Congratulations to you and your daughter. My S also received an e-mail from Duke. It has been a busy and exciting year.</p>
<p>Hey Harmony2! Welcome back! Is he going to BSAI? Maybe our kids will meet one day! BTW I sleuthed an old post of yours ( hope you don't mind), and thought I'd mention my D has 89 kids in her graduating class.This is her schools 7th graduating class.</p>
<p>Thank you for the Welcome. Yes, he is going to BSAI and I don't mind you sleuthing my posts. I have not posted often but I have learned a lot from everyone and I hope our kids will meet one day. I am so impressed with the Class of 2008. Oh and as I am sure you know, your D's class is very large compared to my S's class.</p>
<p>I wanted to switch gears a bit in this particular forum. Along with Harmony and others, how well have your children fared in the early going with regards to admissions? My S has been accepted to OSU, Vandy and Swarthmore thus far. It is very exciting to see his hard work being acknowleged. We are awaiting several more decisions but he is pleased and relieved. Thanks so much to all the CC community for their advice and words of encouragement.</p>
<p>My D is looking at Mills, Santa Clara, Spelman, UCSB , and drumroll please. ...DUKE!! so far. Thanks for bringing the thread back up. I was going to use this...</p>
<p>Middle-Class</a> Dream Eludes African American Families - washingtonpost.com</p>
<p>Welcome Harmony! congrats to your son on Duke</p>
<p>Hey Madville, it is good to have you back. Congrats on your son's wonderful admissions . I know that more are coming.</p>
<p>Congrats to all. Please keep us posted as we get closer to that magical 3/31 date. It is heartwarming to share your journey. </p>
<p>I am just beginning this process--our first college road trip begins next week. We are seeing 5 schools in 5 days. I plan on bringing a big folder for each school. I also impressed upon DS the importance of thinking about 3 things about each school he hopes to find out on this trip. Any other suggestions? </p>
<p>This will be the longest we have spent in each other's exclusive company in years. Lord, I am going to need another bottle of Miss Clairol.... But I am looking forward to it. I realized that so very soon he will be off so I want to savor these times (so sappy and I am not even drinking--yet).</p>
<p>What seems to go even faster is the 4 years they are at school.</p>
<p>Hey madville, I haven't seen you around for awhile. Congrats on your S being accepted to some very fine schools! </p>
<p>As for us, D2 just got accepted at UNC-CH. Still waiting on most of the others.</p>
<p>Congrats to all on the good schools. This is a great thread. So far, D has been accepted to Baylor University, University of Texas at Austin, Texas A&M and Houston Baptist. Still waiting on Trinty (TX), Wash U and Northwestern (husband's alma mater).
She just missed National Achievement by a few points. She was a "referred" scholar.
Wash U and NU are reaches for her, but if you don't reach for the stars, you'll never know what could have happened. </p>
<p>Scholarship offers have been a bit disappointed. EFC is pretty high. Best dollar offer so far has been from Baylor. Next two weeks should be interesting.</p>
<p>Wow! Shrinkrap, that was a great article from the Post. I've always been fascinated with this subject of upward mobility. I learned in Sociology class (back when Carter was in the White House) that the most closely linked factor in how far a person would go in life was how far his or her father had gone. Had a chance to interview the head of a sociology dept a few years ago and I asked him if this were still true. He said now the factor most closely linked to how far a person will go is probably whether his father went father than his grandfather. I know that sounds confusing, but it backs up the article. My grandfather struggled to drag the family out of poverty. All three of his kids had at least two years of college. One got a master's degree. But of his three grandkids, I'm the only one with a degree. I think my family is slipping. Of the four great-grandkids 19 or over, two are high school dropouts and two finished college. Very mixed results.</p>