You’re going to get all kinds of uninvited, dumb comments as you raise children. You have to let them roll off your back. I’ve learned it’s pretty pointless to argue with people.
Wow- thread name changes are possible-page 11 came up and I then found out.
Early congrats and best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy. I have one kid because of infertility problems. He was premature (due to his placenta it turned out) but did fine. We’re physicians and knew too much so had more we could worry about. Physicians can be just as nice to patients as midwives. At least you will be in the big medical center so the actual person in the delivery room will have instant backup.
I’ll say it now instead of months/years later. Even though you have had so much difficulty getting pregnant and a tough time while pregnant please treat your child as if pregnancy was no big deal. I mean to not treat him/her as special or spoiled but to let your child lead an ordinary life with all of the risks that come with. Don’t overprotect. Allow your child a full of experiences, ordinary life regardless of the extremes you went through. I saw how my widowed aunt overprotected my cousin and vowed not to smother my child.
^Excellent advice. I saw close friends do that when it took them a long time to conceive. I said, “Don’t let the little one be the center of the universe or he will have a really tough time as an adult.” We moved away so I’m not sure how things turned out.
@wis75 thanks for that.
My parents never treated me like the center of their world. They still went on vacations and had their own lives, but I never felt neglected or unloved in any way. It was nice because they never hovered or tried to control things and they were truly the best parents I could’ve ever asked for.
I’m not worried about being overprotective because of the pregnancy stuff or just general raising a child - because that’s not my personality nor Mr R’s. What I AM worried about is the first several months of the baby’s life when they still have my antibodies and meds in them and are immune suppressed. I know that I’m going to have to have very long talks with my MFM to figure out how to strike a balance between safety and not going overboard with caution.
I’m very lucky to have been involved in many niblings’ lives and learned somewhat to strike a balance already. I know it’s not the same a being their parent but at least two of them I see and stay with multiple times a week so I really do love them as if they were my own. My oldest nephew (2.5) is a little daredevil so me and his mom have both learned how to freak out less than we want to lol.
Okay- get that worry gone right now. You are who you are and your child will exist because of you- the total package. Worry induced stress hormones will not help. You are with top experts who can mange anything that needs doing. Relax, let go and trust things will be fine.
^^^So good to hear. I had no trouble becoming pregnant, had uneventful pregnancies, and gave birth to very large but healthy babies. I still to this day haven’t figured out how to not feel overprotective (on the inside, at least). I’ve tried hard not to let my inner worries keep me from letting my kids do what makes them happy. I forced myself to not smother them or keep them from doing anything that they love and enjoy. I always took reasonable precautions yet still encouraged them to play sports and travel and all that stuff. But I am a pathological worrier and that has not been easy at all. Sometimes it drives my optimistic, carefree husband crazy. I envy all you people who go through life without irrational fears. I wish that could be bottled-I’d pay a pretty penny for it.
So happy to hear everything is going well. So far so good! I will enjoy hearing about your road to motherhood.
I’m trying, wis. I’m trying ?
Actually all things considered, I think I’m handling things way better than I anticipated since my default state is anxiety and worry. I’ve been very laid back thus far with the pregnancy with just little spikes of worry here and there. I’m just already anticipating I’ll be a basketcase once the baby is out of my belly so I’m doing what I always do - gathering information from reputable sources to calm my fears lol.
@wis75, that’s exactly what my infertility doc told me when I finally got pregnant with S1. I went back to that thoughtful advice many times as my sons were growing up.
Romangypsyeyes, I only check in here every few weeks anymore, but I just wanted to congratulate you on your hard won pregnancy (what a lucky kiddo it will be!). The wealth of wisdom here @ CC has always been one of its greatest strengths, so I’m sure you’ll be availing yourself of it in the future. I’m just so, so happy for you! Be sure to get as much rest as you need, and try to manage your stress levels. You’re going to be such a fantastic parent. Many hugs!
Thanks @Poetsheart and anyone else I haven’t thanked individually.
7 weeks today. I leave for New Orleans tomorrow for the rest of the week (conference). Luckily I’m staying IN the hotel where the conference is. I’m supposed to be chairing a panel right before I give my own paper but thankfully have a good friend on standby to take over my panel if needed. I’m also traveling with a friend whose dad happens to be a high risk OBGYN we can call if anything comes up.
Nausea is pretty much gone - which makes me nervous but my mom and sister keep reminding me that they never got nauseous. (My mom isn’t sister’s mom so hopefully it’s genetic from both sides.) I’m still so tired though. I have a fantastic hematologist who is keeping a very close eye on my iron levels because I’ve been anemic on and off since getting sick. Right now levels are low but holding steady. She said I’ll almost certainly need some IV Venofer throughout the pregnancy which is fine by me.
Otherwise all is well. Mr R & I are going to Galaxy’s Edge at Disneyworld (the Star Wars version of Harry Potter world) in late Sept for our very late honeymoon. While there. we’re doing our reveal pictures so I asked Mr R to pick out a Star Wars onesie. He picked one because “it matches mom’s [me] tattoo!” and I started crying. So that’s where my emotions are right now ?
Enjoy all your travels, Romani! Good luck with your panel and presentation at the conference.
Tomorrow morning is the scan and first MFM appointment. I’m very nervous, especially since MFM is first and scan is later. So we could potentially go to mfm and then later find out it isn’t viable.
Yes I’m being paranoid. I’m just so scared. I haven’t had morning/ day sickness at all in weeks and am unreasonably scared about that. Despite the fact that my mom had virtually no symptoms with me and apparently there’s a genetic link between pregnancy symptoms.
Either way, wish us luck. Mr R got the whole morning off to go with me. If all goes well though, we have a framed picture with the other nibling announcing the pregnancy to Mr R’s parents. This is also how they’ll learn baby jedi is getting my last name. Hoping the joy and celebration will overshadow anything snarky they have to say about that. They’re not going to take it well but too bad. Not our problem.
Totally understand your apprehension - any of us would (and often did) feel the same way. Best of thoughts with you!
Try and keep your energy on the health aspects and not the family/social aspect. This is you and Mr. R’s first role as parents - the pregnancy - and you should not have to worry about any snark from the fam.
Any chance to just tell them about the baby and not the last name right now. It’s like your giving them joy then sucking it right out of them. Maybe during a casual conversation at a latter date. The reason I say this is the last thing you need now is stress. You need to concentrate on you now and nothing else.
Good Luck.
I had absolutely no morning sickness either until the very end of pregnancy (by then it was just heartburn from babies pressing against different parts of my body).
Try not to worry. It seems no one’s business but your and Mr R what baby’s last name will be/is. I don’t see any upside to announcing it at this time.
Be good to yourself and Mr R. Celebrate the joy!
"If all goes well though, we have a framed picture with the other nibling announcing the pregnancy to Mr R’s parents. This is also how they’ll learn baby jedi is getting my last name. "
Not that you asked for our advice on the matter but I agree with @Knowsstuff about waiting on the name thing. I just don’t feel that level of discussion is needed when announcing a joyous event if you know it will bother them. Plenty of time to address it later.
Good luck tomorrow! I agree with others about holding off about the last name. Even though you feel it is too bad if they don’t like what you are doing, they are the baby’s grandparents and may have feelings about it. Please try to be sensitive to that and get off to as good a footing as possible with the grandparents. With luck, you will be one yourself some day! You do have every right to pick any last name you like. Maybe just hold off a little on announcing it until everyone has more time to enjoy the moment. All the best!
I wouldn’t disclose the last name until the baby is born. Then introduce him to his grandparents with the complete name. When the baby is actually around it is much harder for people to complain. (One reason why I don’t think people should disclose the first names they have chosen either. )
Good luck tomorrow. You’re allowed to be apprehensive - just don’t read too much into your lack of morning sickness.
I’d hold off on telling your ILs about the last name. Let them enjoy the news without interjecting something you expect them to object to. There’ll be plenty of time to tell them about the last name (which you have every right to choose as you and Mr. R wish).
Another reason to hold off on the name news is it is likely to save Mr. R months of grief. I can envision your in-laws working on your husband behind the scenes trying to get that changed. So, waiting to later saves you and him from hearing about their opinions - at least for now, or until it is a done deal. 