OP, I don’t have a story to tell, but just wanted to chime in and say that I will pray for you. Miracles do happen. Have faith and hold on.
@busdriver11 , @romanigypsyeyes has explained that she has a strong medical support system where she is. She is a smart cookie and I’m sure she has discussed her health and a baby’s health with her doctors in relation to potentially carrying a pregnancy .
I was able to have two healthy children, but still remember how stressful it was when months went by initially with no pregnancy. A miscarriage between kids was difficult when everyone else seemed to be pregnant . It was an emotional time and any struggle I had pales in comparison to what you and others here have dealt with.
All the best to you in your journey , in whatever from that ends up taking -pregnancy , adoption, or being the best aunt out there. Thanks for sharing your journey with us!
I know, @sevmom, but every time I read these threads, I fear she is risking her life, with far too many health issues. It’s hard for me to get past it, so I will just wish her well and hope for the best.
I think it is wonderful you are so concerned, @busdriver11 . I’m with you on wishing her well and hoping for the best in this, in whatever way this evolves.
I had difficulty getting pregnant and thought that once I got pregnant everything would be fine. Five miscarriages in 2 years (one ectopic just to make things interesting) and it turns out getting pregnant was the easy part, staying pregnant was the hard part. Pregnancy #6 was the charm (well, #6 that I know about, probably many more before when I didn’t know I was pregnant), except that daughter was born at 24 weeks and that started an entirely new area of medical study for me.
Daughter #2 is adopted and that was a great option to grow a family for me.
It all takes a long time and that’s hard. They think one thing is the problem and it turns out to be something else. You have to just keep moving to the next step.
Sending positive thoughts your way. One of my daughters is undergoing fertility treatment right now. I wish I had a happy story for you, but so far all her results have been bad.
Another success story here! My husband and I tried everything for six years. It was without a doubt the most difficult and frustrating time of my life. We tried everything - Clomid, artificial insemination, injectables, two rounds of IVF, surgery to repair blocked fallopian tubes (twice). We did have one pregnancy but it ended in an early miscarriage.
We ran out of insurance for another IVF, so I decided to try something “outside the box.” Like @Coloradomama I tried acupuncture. I checked with my OB/GYN first to make sure there were no risks involved, and he said it could help in some cases, largely by increasing blood flow to the uterus. So I tried it and wouldn’t you know, I got pregnant in the very first cycle ! We did the acupuncture in conjunction with artificial insemination and injectables, but my husband’s sperm count was really, really low that cycle and it seemed hopeless. But now I have my lovely D! I had done injectables many months prior to that with no luck, so I attribute it to the acupuncture.
Best of luck, I know how incredibly trying and frustrating this process can be.
Swedish Medical Center has a mandatory six weeks of acupuncture before IVF to allow couples to get pregnant naturally. Its less expensive, and healthier for the pregnant mother to not risk multiples, but i know IVF has come a long way from the 1990s, for safety. Acupuncture, the only risk is infection at the needle insertion site, but every state mandates brand new clean needles now. Also Chinese herbs may be key to stimulate ovulation for someone with cysts on the ovary, or a shorter menstrual cycle. The herbs are key, and so you may want to find a practitioner called “traditional Chinese medicine” doctor. There are thousands in the USA now. They use dried herbs that much be boiled on a stove top. Its not easy to drink, but its safe, as long as you have found a reputable doctor. Use RESOLVE to find the best Chinese doctor for infertility. There are very good schools now in the USA but many American practitioners get trained in mainland China today. Japanese acupuncture is slightly different than Chinese, as well, but may also work.
Chinese herbs do a lot more than “stimulate blood flow”, the actually changed the length of my menstrual cycle. That was key for me to get pregnant. Also herbs stimulate ovulation, so nothing to do with blood flow. I don’t think even Chinese doctors completely understand acupuncture, but my understanding from my practitioners over 20 years, is its more than just blood flow. There is also lymphatics, for instance. Lymphatics may be greatly affected by acupuncture. I don’t think most western doctors have any training in this, but also the science studies of how it works are just beginning. Eventually we will know more.
The fact that so many women who have more than ten years of infertility, get
pregnant on their own , for a second pregnancy after an IVF pregnancy, is not understood. If the woman did not ovulate, how could that happen? Clearly,
she did ovulate at least once, to produce the second baby!
This explains that acupuncture/Chinese herbs have specifically helped women with PCOS to get regular menstrual cycles. See about half way down the article .
There has been more testing of chinese herbs and acupuncture specifically for infertility and PCOS. Also IVF success is hugely increased by the six week acupuncture treatment. IVF alone could be about 24% success rate. There are a lot of variables, including the female’s age and egg quality.
https://www.healthcmi.com/Acupuncture-Continuing-Education-News/1280-new-infertility-to-pregnancy-with-acupuncture-herbs
@romanigypsyeyes, I just want to say that I’m so sorry that you and your husband are having such a difficult time, and wish you the very best. My ex and I tried unsuccessfully to conceive for more than a year without medical intervention. But then one round of Clomid was successful, and we had our wonderful son – now 29 years old, believe it or not, and about to enter a PhD program – 9 months later. I still vividly remember getting the news that the Clomid had worked. It seems like yesterday. I hope that you have an equivalent experience, much sooner, rather than later.
@busdriver11 I have been in conversations with a MFM, my rheumatologist, and a obgyn that specializes in lupus pregnancies (there are advantages to having one of the world’s best lupus clinics in your backyard!) for over two years.
I would not risk my life for a pregnancy. Mr R is even more emphatic about the fact that I am never to risk my life for a pregnancy. We are also comfortable with terminating a pregnancy if my health is in jeopardy. We’ve been assured repeatedly that there is no significantly increased risk to me to get pregnant other than being off some of my meds - and I’ve been doing quite well with that.
There is a risk to the fetus because of an antibody I have but that’s what I have an amazing MFM for 
Both my sister and my mom had super easy pregnancies so let’s hope that’s partially hereditary (fingers crossed)
The high risk is partially because all lupus pregnancies are high risk and partially because the anti-Ro/SSA antibodies I have require intense monitoring later in the pregnancy.
I appreciate the concern, truly, but this is a well-thought through plan and not something we’ve taken lightly. I worked in reproductive health before I became a historian and know the risks, especially as an American woman going through a pregnancy, that I face. I still write fairly extensively about the maternal mortality crisis in the US. I’ve also written extensively about my own fertility struggles in an attempt to do my part to de-stigmatize infertility. It’s something I’ve grown comfortable talking about but that doesn’t make it suck any less. And since that blog doesn’t really make the rounds past my circle, it hasn’t been helpful in hearing from others haha.
I have started checking out some of the places recommended by posters and it’s been helpful. There are just sooooo many forums that it’s hard to wade through and find good ones so I really, truly appreciate the suggestions.
The most important thing for you and your H to remember is that you ARE going to have a child. Period. How and when does not change that you WILL be parents. Hugs.
Well, I don’t know – but I’d guess that the massive hormonal changes that a woman goes through during pregnancy and post-partum, including with nursing, result in overall functional changes that at least in some cases resolve the prior issues.
If an injection of a drug can induce ovulation in a woman who was not otherwise ovulating, then the ability to ovulate exists. The drugs work by stimulating hormone production. So I don’t see any reason why the hormonal changes tied to pregnancy couldn’t also result in increased production of the same hormones post-pregnancy.
I’d also guess a hormonal change might be at the root of the many reported cases of infertile women becoming pregnant after adopting - (caregiving seems to result in increased oxytocin levels in the mother whether or not there is a biological relationship with the child).
Everyone’s story is a little different (my own being that I worried for years about my fertility, when it was my husband who was infertile). I wish you the best. I have read many of your posts, and I am confident that you will be a mother and an excellent one!
@romanigypsyeyes - also chiming in to send good vibes. I’ve been in your shoes . The short version: I was older when we married and we wanted kids ASAP. First, there was surgery to remove fibroids. Next, several rounds of just clomid. Nothing. Upped the ante to injections and IUIs. One took, but miscarried. At this point, we were paying out of pocket for the drugs. There were a lot of co-pays and deductibles, too. I vaguely remember some accupunture in there as well. These experiences covered about 3 years.
Next two things happened. I changed doctors and went to what was then considered one of the top two IVF / infertility research hospital affiliated infertility centers in NYC. I do believe this made all the difference. Their protocols were second to none. I met many women there who were going through the same thing. I also changed jobs and low and behold, suddenly had insurance coverage for IVF!
It was a different world. Constant blood tests, scans, etc. but it worked! I had six embryos implanted and three took - one of which disappeared at about 10 weeks. (We were glad we didn’t have to make that decision). But the fun wasn’t over! Flash forward to 32 weeks when my placenta ruptured. I was rushed to ER. (My assistant at the time had the presence of mind to ask me which hospital I wanted to go to. Someone else called 911. Two ambulance crews arrived simultaneously. This is midtown Manhattan in the middle of Friday afternoon rush hour. I went to the hospital with a top notch neo-natal unit). Our boy - girl twins were born at 32 weeks via emergency C-section and spent a few weeks in the neo-natal unit. They graduated college in 2018 and are now 23. (During the college application process we used to joke that we had no money left because we’d spent it all trying to get them here in the first place!) I was 40.
I have no idea how old you are or what part of the country you live in, but I do believe where you go through the IVF process makes a difference. Virtually any OB/GYN can say they are “infertility specialists” - but there are true specialists out there. From what you’ve shared, it does sound like you are with a good practice. Following our experience, I sent many older friends struggling with infertility to my doctor. All but one succeeded. Quite a few had their child / twins at 41, 42, or even 43. It all seems so long ago now (it was!) but your post and this thread brought it all back to me. Sending you nothing but good vibes.
I hope everything works out well for you. Only thing I can add is we know several people including patients of mine that once they stopped doing everything they could possibly think of to get pregnant like went on vacation somewhere and relaxed, had fun and yes… Somehow with a miracle… Got pregnant. Lol.
One of our friends had a lot of medical help to have her baby at 50–yes 50 years of age. The boy is healthy and starting his sophomore year of college in the fall.
Another friend had a lot of fertility issues before having her three girls.
We have other family and friends who have adopted children at varying ages—from 1 or so years old to 6.5 years old.
Wishing you and all on this path the best of luck!
I don’t know if it has been suggested, but there is a Nationwide organization called ,Resolve, for people struggling with this issue. They have support groups in your area. I met some amazing people there and in our case, ended up adopting 3 children.
Wishing you the best of luck @romanigypsyeyes. Sounds like you have a great team working on your behalf.
My brother in law and his wife were older when they married and his wife had different infertility issues. They ended up using his sperm and a donor egg, implanted into her uterus. They were thrilled, after several attempts, to achieve a sucessful pregnancy and to welcome a healthy baby… They were suprised (actually, more like shocked) 18 months later with a completely natural second pregnancy. They now have two healthy boys.