<p>Hey all,</p>
<p>One of my best friends and I are going to the same school. I am so excited to be spending the next four years with her! We get along as most best friends do. We have the same weird, quirky sense of humor, share a lot in common, yet fight on occasion (but resolve things fairly quickly!) She REALLY wants to be my roommate, and for a very long time I didn't oppose her. However, another friend of mine strongly advised me against it. She says it might stop us from meeting new / different people (which I kind of disagree with, we're both really social), and that our friendship is too rocky to sustain a living environment for four years. She (the girl who wants to room with me) often gets very jealous of me and my friend thinks it would be a unhappy and rather unhealthy situation at points. We both struggle a lot with severe anxiety and have been amazing support systems for each other the past few years. She fears that living with anyone who is insensitive or does not know how to treat her / cope with her frequent "episodes" (for lack of a better word), will be even more unhealthy than our petty arguments / the jealousy issue. I have no problem rooming with her. I would be comfortable and not have to worry about my personal belongings or space or not getting along with my roommate. However, I do see the argument my other friend is making: both about meeting new people / really submerging new environment and the rocky friendship we sometimes have. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>The one rule that has been regurgitated over and over again in terms of roommates: NEVER ROOM WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND. Ever.
Unless there is some extenuating circumstance(and I mean an extremely extenuating circumstance.) you’re going off to college for the first time, you will meet new people, and not only will you and your best friend change, but more likely than not living with each other will make you guys not be friends anymore. This is not absolute(obviously) but it is quite different to know someone and have a good relationship with them, and live with them. You’re sharing your private space with another human being. I would suggest getting a random roommate- if it doesn’t work out then you can get a new one, but if it does work out, that’s great too! And even if your random roommate and you have an argument, there is no chance of old arguments being rehashed, and long term friendships being destroyed, as it could with your current best friend. Also, you say that you two have a rocky relationship already, so I would suggest to steer completely clear of becoming her roommate. Say that you would love to have a dorm room near her, but you think college is a time to meet new people, starting with roommates,
And that you both need to move out of your comfort zone when living with new people. Good luck! And let us know what you decide.</p>
<p>If you’re questioning yourself already, it’s a definite no.</p>
<p>Rooming with a good friend is not a great idea. Even though you guys will be comfortable in each other’s presence, it also brings in a lot of opportunity to find and pick at each other’s little annoying habits and flaws. </p>
<p>Also, not rooming gives you guys “space” to “miss each other” in a sense, so basically an excuse to hang out and go on a girl date. Otherwise you guys will be seeing each other constantly and it could tire both of you out.</p>
<p>“One of my best friends and I are going to the same school. I am so excited to be spending the next four years with her! We get along as most best friends do. We have the same weird, quirky sense of humor, share a lot in common, yet fight on occasion (but resolve things fairly quickly!)”</p>
<p>Listen to me, and listen to me well, as well as everyone else on this thread. Do not do room with her. That is one of the biggeset no-no’s a freshmen can commit.</p>
<p>“She REALLY wants to be my roommate, and for a very long time I didn’t oppose her. However, another friend of mine strongly advised me against it. She says it might stop us from meeting new / different people (which I kind of disagree with, we’re both really social), and that our friendship is too rocky to sustain a living environment for four years. She (the girl who wants to room with me) often gets very jealous of me and my friend thinks it would be a unhappy and rather unhealthy situation at points. We both struggle a lot with severe anxiety and have been amazing support systems for each other the past few years. She fears that living with anyone who is insensitive or does not know how to treat her / cope with her frequent “episodes” (for lack of a better word), will be even more unhealthy than our petty arguments / the jealousy issue.”</p>
<p>Even more of a reason to get your own roommates. You have to branch out.</p>
<p>“I have no problem rooming with her. I would be comfortable and not have to worry about my personal belongings or space or not getting along with my roommate. However, I do see the argument my other friend is making: both about meeting new people / really submerging new environment and the rocky friendship we sometimes have. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!”</p>
<p>There are many reasons people tell you NOT to room with people you know/your best friend in college. I understand wanting to room with someone you know and keep a sense of normality when everything else in your life is changing, but the qualities that you like about your best friend are also the ones that will make you hate her when the two of you live together for a year. And seeing as how you said that your friendship is rocky already, I’d advise against it even more. Having a new roommate in college is a way to branch out socially, and, though you said you’re already social, you’ll still hang out with your best friend and living with a new person would help both of you learn how to contend with your anxieties about that as opposed to sweeping that problem under the rug and rooming together with the hopes of it working out (which it very rarely does).</p>