<p>As I am preparing to send my oldest off to school, I just learned that incoming students will be putting together roommate contracts. Are there any suggestions of what to include in the contract in order to maintain peace while living in tight quarters? Thanks.</p>
<p>Girls or boys? Borrowing clothes and other belongings. . .different bedtimes/negotiating lights & noise/music. . .sexiling. . .if sharing a fridge or MW, rules on cleaning, common food. . .Aren’t guys pretty hang loose?</p>
<p>Have to admit this is the first time I heard of this- and have two in college. Doesn’t it feel a little tense to start with a contract? Is this for a dorm? Or apt?
Put another way, both of mine had quads originally designed for two kids. If one of mine said a roommate wanted a contract from the get-go, I’d wonder how flexible that person was, just what sort of roomate that kid would turn out to be. Are contracts common at some schools?</p>
<p>Clean your dishes promptly and don’t use up my printer ink!</p>
<p>This is the first I have heard of such a contract. The way I understand it, all the students in the dorm will meet with the RA on move-in day and compose a contract that the roommates will sign off on.</p>
<p>CCsiteObsessed, I suppose I could look it up, but what is sexiling?</p>
<p>My son is launching Saturday. He has a hall meeting with his RA the first day. One of the first things they do is write a contract with their roommate. They are encouraged to revise it as often as they feel necessary. Things they think are important (or not important) in the beginning may not be a week later, a month later, or the next semester. What’s important is to begin an open line of communication, a way to address expectations, and what to do when either party feels those aren’t working or aren’t being met.</p>
<p>Just guessing, but I’d say sexiling is when you are exiled from your room while your roommate is having sex. </p>
<p>In my day, the symbol was a towel over the door.</p>
<p>Because urban dictionary does this much better than I can…</p>
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<p>If these contracts are something the school/dorm is organizing/ encouraging like with the OPs son I think it’s a good idea. Get them talking about potential problems. I hope the dorm staff brings up some situations that might not occur to incoming students. Even though I had a sister it never entered my mind that my room-mate might feel free to wear my clothes…and leave them on the floor…which one of them did.
And on the sexile front, better talk about what doesn’t go on while the room-mates are present and trying to sleep as well!</p>
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Yea…you’d think this goes without saying until you wake up and hear otherwise. I know…ewww! Who thought girls would do that?! I was mortified…my roommate obviously was not.</p>
<p>I don’t think this is something that one would necessarily want an RA or administration to see, but parents have told me their non-(pot) smoking kids have had problems when a roommate smokes. Also, underage kids can get in trouble from a roommate’s booze in the room. I guess some type of consensus on partying behavior and paraphernalia?</p>
<p>I will never forget when I lived in a cooking co-op, and a jar of stuff a girl had left in the fridge hatched big time – like hundreds of big bugs. Guess it was something used to a cold climate and little air. Yuck!!!</p>
<p>I think contracts are pretty common now and smart since telling freshmen to talk over room rules with roommates probably won’t get much accomplished and one might not be bold enough to say what they really think. Plus as someone said, they often don’t think of things to include. A written contract/check list makes sure all relevant topics are discussed. The obvious stuff is what is okay to borrow without specifically asking…food, clothes, umbrella, laundry detergent, boyfriends! Also agree on rules of overnight guests - romantic and just friends from home. With the suites/apartment style housing all the visitation stuff is usually up to roommates. Do you want quiet time hours or cut-off for having friends over to hang out.</p>
<p>My D is an RA this year in a freshman dorm and will be helping her students put together their roommate “contract.” They will all be doing it so it won’t seem so weird. Plus, at her school, the RA has a formal meeting with each resident at least once a semester to hear how things are going, if the contract has been breached, etc. Make sure your kids know to go to the RA if things get difficult. They are not their just to “rat you out.” My D says her goal is to help her residents have as great a freshman year as she did!</p>