I also don’t understand why not have a shoe rack outside to put the shoes? it just feels like i cannot have anything in the common area that I pay for
If you really aren’t compatible with the suitemates, ask for a transfer to another suite. Be careful what you wish for as the new roommates may have issues a lot worse than putting your shoes into your room.
We’re all saying the same thing - keep your shoes in your room. Not sure what else we can say. Is it that hard to keep your shoes right inside your room?
Do other people put shoe racks in the common area? I doubt it.! A common area is not your personal closet. Shoe racks aren’t really that attractive. Yes, you’re paying to use the common area. It’s for sitting, eating, relaxing and socializing, not for storing your stuff.
If the other roommates are storing personal belongings such as clothes in the common area, or leaving dirty dishes around and you’re being singled out, then that’s a different issue and should be addressed directly with them. Maybe you should have a house meeting with everyone together.
It has occured to me that maybe you come from a family or culture where outdoor shoes are not worn in the house (or at least the bedroom). It may be hard, but that is just not how most people do things here. You can still keep that kind of cleanliness in your bedroom, but you’ll have to adapt and extend the boundary to just inside of your bedroom door. You really can’t expect three other roommates to accept your shoes stored outside of your door unless they are doing the same thing.
she only does it to aginst me but no other roommate
Is the real issue that you just don’t like this roommate (maybe you don’t like each other) so everything she does bugs you?
I think if you learn to let things roll a little more you’ll be a lot happier. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life gets way harder than this.
It sounds like you left your apartment for the summer and came back to all new roommates and to what probably feels like random new rules for your own home. But it’s their home too.
Keeping shoes in the doorway isn’t safe. It’s more likely that the other girl’s grandma broke your shoe rack by tripping over it or falling on it than by moving it. If you want shoes for the common area why not just leave them just inside your door instead of just outside it? You have a whole room to keep your stuff in.
When your roommate moves coffee that you left on the counter for a few hours or moves your frying pan off the stove she isn’t just randomly moving stuff. She’s cleaning up after you. If all of you put your dirty dishes in the sink until you get to them other people can use the counters and stove. And if you wash the dishes and put them back in the cupboard people can use the sink.
It sounds like you feel like you can’t put things where you want in your own home, but the only things being moved are dirty dishes and shoes that you leave in the common area. Try to look at it from your roommates’ perspective. What you call randomly moving stuff they probably call cleaning up after you. Why is it such a big deal to put your dirty dishes in the sink and keep your personal belongings in your room?
Who gives a rat’s behind if she puts your shoes in your room? This is a very minor problem and you are making it worse.