<p>I recently got into an argument with my parental units about the meaning of a certain invitation. It said "Mr. and Mrs. Jones." (Jones is used as an example) She said that because it did not include the clause "and family," kids were not invited.</p>
<p>Is this a steadfast rule? Does "and family" have to be included for kids to be invited? Or, perhaps, did they just put the father and mother, assuming that they would bring kids if they wanted to?</p>
<p>You could always ask? :P</p>
<p>Hmmm, I'd say it depends on the event. If it's an event that is obviously not all-adult or is not clear about whether or not bringing kids is ok, I'd say "Jones Family" or something. "Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family" is a bit long in my opinion.</p>
<p>The parental units are right this time. If it is something like a wedding invitation and the whole family is invited, the proper wording is "Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family. </p>
<p>When in doubt, call the hostess.</p>
<p>If the event is a catered one such as a wedding, a sweet 16 or a Bar Mitzvah, each person might cost the host $150--$200 or more. And the seating arrangements are very strictly organized ahead of time. You cannot assume that a whole family is invited to such an event unless they are specifically named in the invitation. In planning that kind of event, the hosts often agonize over who can and can't be invited because of limits in their budget. They might decide that they can go as far as first cousins, with some friends to make up their agreed-upon number of guests. It would be the height of rudeness to show up with children if they are not named. At my sister and her husband's wedding, a man who worked for her husband was invited with his wife. He was from another culture so he didn't understand this rule. He brought several children to the reception, each of whom cost well over $100 to accomodate. The staff had to scramble to find seating for them, as the tables had been placed well before the event. Children of their ages from the married couples FAMILIES had not been invited. Not only was it rude, but the children who came ran around all over the place in otherwise adult company, changing the feel of the reception. Also, calling the hostess to ask if the kids are invited might put her in an awkward position, depending on your relationship with her. On the other hand, if the event is something like a big picnic or a casual house party, and you are close to the hostess, a call might be fine. But don't show up with kids without calling.</p>
<p>if it'll be a family gathering, then "and family" is implied, if not, then kids are not invited.</p>
<p>The parental units are correct to a point. Only those whose names are on the invitation are invited. If it says, "Mr. and Mrs. Jones", it means only Mr. and Mrs. Jones, no children. If it says, "Ms. Susan Smith", it means only Ms. Susan Smith, not Ms. Susan Smith and her date/guest/friend.</p>
<p>However, formal invitations also require everyone's name be used, so that "Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Family" is incorrect. It should be "Mr. & Mrs. Jones" on the first line, "Miss Hannah Jones" on the next, and "Mr. John Jones" on the third (assuming of course 4 people in the family). Even children have names and their names should be included. This needn't be on the envelope for mailing, but should at least be on the inner envelope of the invitation.</p>
<p>If it is not a formal invitation, then "Mr. & Mrs. Jones and Family" is OK. But formal or informal, if "and Family" or other names are not included, do not assume that children are invited. Even barbecues can be adults only.</p>
<p>why use an invitation anyway, phones are there for a reason...</p>