Sacrificing family for Columbia...

<p>I've become enamored with columbia; and to say that i would be thrilled if i got accepted, would be understating how i'd feel. My family and i are really close, and my mom, though supportive of my wanting to go to columbia, is a little iffy about the whole situation. quite frankly, it would be almost devastating having to leave my home. i was planning on applying ED to columbia to show my commitment and desire to go there, but now i'm more inclined to not doing so. Rice has been my second choice because it's so close to home, and when i visited the campus, i absolutely loved it. </p>

<p>so both are pretty much dream schools for me, columbia more than rice, but both dreams nonetheless. what would you advise i do? apply ED to columbia or rice?? i know it isn't certain that i would get accepted to either school, but i wouldnt want to apply ED to columbia and hten be torn apart because i'd be so far from home. i also don't want to apply ED to rice, get accepted, and then feel repentant because i could be going to columbia! so you see my dilemma!</p>

<p>how would you deal with this? i'm probably ranting but if you happened to read through all that, any advice would be appreciated.</p>

<p>If you are absolutely sure Columbia is the college you want to go to, then apply ED. You’re not going to be in college forever, a few years there and you can relocate back. Even if you do decide to stay at home for college, you might end up moving away afterwards anyway.</p>

<p>Yeah, I would say go for it and apply ED. At least give it a try, and if it’s too hard being far away you can always transfer to a school near home such as Rice later. If it’s a dream of yours you should give it a shot. Best of luck</p>

<p>Well it seems as if you would regret not going to Columbia more. Your family and mom might be sad about you leaving if you got in, but in the end you have to do what makes you happiest. I guarantee you once she sees how much fun your having (if you get in) then she will be happy for you. You just don’t want to be old and wrinkly and saying what if I had risked it instead of playing it safe…</p>

<p>i think that leaving home for college will be hard for you whether it’s 20 or 2000 miles away. the reality is that either situation will require you to move away from home and thus be separated from you family. while driving home is definitely more convenient than flying home, you probably won’t have the time and energy of doing that every weekend, no matter how homesick you are.</p>

<p>also, as much as it sucks, you’re gonna have buyer’s remorse either way. if you apply ED you’ll most likely lie in bed the night after you send in your application thinking to yourself “oh god, oh crap, what’ve i done, i wanna un-do this, i’m not ready to leave home, ahhh!”. but if you don’t apply ED, you’ll lie in bed the night after apps were due thinking “oh no, oh crap, i just ruined my chances for the greatest thing that ever could’ve happened to me.” sucks but that’s life.</p>

<p>the good news is, either way you’ll be happy. at either school you’ll meet lots of nice kids and likely have a really nice core group of friends, they’re both great colleges which both have the potential to open doors to great jobs and graduate programs, and either way you’ll have to be at least a bit more independent from your parents.</p>

<p>Columbia probably does open more doors for you do to its prestige, although i’m sure Rice also doesn’t have very many homeless graduates. and as for separating from your parents, i went through the same thing, it’s rough, but that’s the really awesome thing about college, it grows you up. and part of that is learning to be your own separate person from your parents, it may seem almost impossible now, but for me Columbia’s been the place where everything I thought was impossible became possible, the good and the bad.</p>

<p>so I’d suggest applying ED, but whichever you choose I’m sure you’ll be happy with your decision in the end (unless you’re like me and decide to go to grad school and get stuck studying for the bloody GRE’s until 3 in the morning on your summer break lol).</p>

<p>The other obvious piece of advice is to make sure that your going to either school will be financially feasible before you decide to apply ED. It would be awful to apply ED, be accepted, and then realize your family cannot afford for you to attend there…</p>

<p>if your accepted ED and you realize there is not way you can afford it, then you can talk to the fin. aid department and admissions and they can void your early decision agreement.</p>

<p>^^ Yes, that’s possible – but not until he gets his financial package from the ED school and has that discussion with them. By the time that is resolved, it will almost certainly be too late to apply to the other school. So he’s taking a big risk.</p>

<p>Unlike some of the others posting here, I’d suggest that you NOT apply ED because: (1) you clearly do not have a “first choice” school (since you are torn between two very different schools), and (2) there is no proof that an ED application will give you any kind of “boost” in admissions anyway.</p>

<p>By the Way, Rice is likely to be considerably cheaper for you since the COA there is much less than Columbia’s and you will not have to budget airfares to get to and from the school.</p>

<p>That may or may not be true. Columbia’s financial aid is a better than Rice. Lets say, for example, her/his financial need is calculated to be $35,000. Columbia will meet that 100% fully with grants that don’t need to be payed back. Rice will also meet the need 100% but around 90% will be grants and 10% will be loans.</p>

<p>I’m sorry,jroc92, but you are wrong.</p>

<p>Here is Rice’s stated financial policy (straight from its website):</p>

<p>For incoming freshmen:
• Rice will continue its policy of need-blind admission and meeting 100 percent of demonstrated need.
• For families whose income is $80,000 or less, Rice will meet 100 percent of need eligibility without loans. That means these students’ financial aid packages will be covered by scholarships, grants, work study and other aid.
• For those whose income is above $80,000 and who are need eligible, Rice will cap the amount of loans in financial aid packages at $10,000 for the four undergraduate years (as long as they remain eligible for need-based aid).
• Rice will continue to offer merit-based aid to the top 30 percent of the enrolling freshman class. </p>

<p>So if OP has a financial need of $35K (out of the total $45K for COA), the family income is certainly less than $80K and there would be NO LOANS from Rice. Even if the family income is over $80K, the maximum loan amount would be $2.5K (7% of the total $35K package) per year.</p>

<p>I have not seen any similar statement for Columbia specifically stating that there will be no loans. Although the school’s website does say that it will meet 100% of need (as Rice does), it also discusses loans as one potential source of funding. Can you direct me to an official source for your statement that Columbia’s financial aid package would not contain any loans? If so, that would be great and Columbia’s aid might be competitive with Rice’s.</p>

<p>i asked my mom and dad to sit down with me and use the financial aid calculator on collegeboard but there’s always one that isn’t home or there’s always one that’s “too busy.” but we will eventually figure that out sooner than later.</p>

<p>another quetsion? how true, for lack of a better word, is columbia’s statement that they’re almost always more generous than the calculator on the collegeboard?</p>

<p>in regards to my original question, hopefully i’ll get a bit over my homesickness when my mom sends me to new york to visit columbia later this summer.</p>

<p>thanks for your input guys!</p>

<p>^if they say FA is generally better than Collegeboard’s, then it prob true. It’s something that would very likely be true, Columbia is big on giving financial aid.</p>

<p>so if your family income is below $90-$100,000 then definitely apply to Columbia they will give you good aid, without loans. by good I mean that if they earn below 60, they’ll give full ride, and at $100,000 you’re probably paying $10-20K. from 60-100k it makes much more sense to apply to C than to R, C will have much better aid for this range. Rice has merit aid which is basically money being taken away from financial aid. </p>

<p>If your family earns between 110K and 150K then it might not make sense to apply ED at all, both school will not be great for aid (although Columbia might still be better here). </p>

<p>Finally in terms of leaving home, it really sucks, but it has to happen, jinxed is right, if your leaving for home on the weekends at Rice, you are criminally wasting away your college experience. It is a chance to grow, to make life long friends, to develop social skills and finesse, and to create some awesome fun memories, most of this happens on the weekends at school. </p>

<p>It’s going to be very tough on both you and your mom I feel, but it’s necessary and beneficial in the long term, it’ll develop both of your independence. Who knows down the college road, you might begin to resent being so close to home and being pressured to return frequently. Everyone needs to learn how to be happy by themselves, without crutches, how to deal with freedom, and how to take risks when only you are accountable. I’d give the same advice to a new yorker wanting to go to rice over columbia but hesitant to leave home. If rice becomes your top choice for other reasons, then go ed/rd there.</p>

<p>I strongly suggest that you not apply to either school ED. The ED process should be used only by those who are ABSOLUTELY certain of a first choice. Your ambivalence makes it VERY clear that you are not a good ED candidate. Your notions understandably will likely be fluid over the next six months. Although ED admission rates are generally higher than RD rates, remember that many ED admitted students are legacy, development, recruited athlete and URM candidates. I would apply to both Rice and Columbia RD, and use the extra time to work through your and your family’s choices.</p>

<p>worried_mom:</p>

<p>[Columbia</a> University Office of Undergraduate Financial Aid and Educational Financing](<a href=“http://www.studentaffairs.columbia.edu/finaid/enhancements/]Columbia”>How Aid Works | Columbia Financial Aid and Educational Financing)</p>

<p>this is on their website. I am not sure how it can be any more unequivocal about being no loans. and from my experience so long as you do not have tons and tons of assets, columbia gave me the best financial aid of schools i applied.</p>

<p>i think that if you are choosing between two schools and not 10, than ED is not a horrible idea. you have over 4 mths to become more or less sure of your decision and decide on a school. if on nov. 1 you are not ready to pull the trigger, then don’t. but consider that for most students that apply ED to a college are not selected so you have to have back-up schools anyhow. few students nowadays can with guarantee apply ED and be admitted.</p>

<p>to piggy back off of concoll - it is college, 4 years of your life, not forever. i understand the OPs ranting. he/she is acting like an average teenager who is approaching what people call the most important decision of your life. it really is not. who you are does not change depending on what school you decide on. and only come april would i ever try to push you to decide on columbia :). and so in this case. if 12 mths before you go to college the idea of leaving your family is an issue, it probably will be an issue 5 and 12 mths from now. that is okay. i made my decision on where to apply because of family too. as for your question of ‘repentant,’ i don’t get this. why would you feel bad you decided to go to a closer great school instead of a further great school. </p>

<p>as a final thing - new york and columbia are not going to be like home, it takes a person who wants to be in that environment and can succeed in that environment. and people who are tepid and are not willing to “jump off the cliff” and take a chance, well you are going to have trouble there. so a bigger issue is at play here. it is about your comfort and willingness to let go of your parents and their ability to let go of you. if you are worried that you can’t or they can’t - you wont have an enjoyable 4 years. i knew many students with similar troubles and you could tell they didn’t love columbia the same way i do. so have the conversation now and not later with the parents as it will help clarify what you should do. in the end - enjoy the process, don’t freak out. you will be who you are (as smart as you probably are) regardless of where you go. and anywhere whether it is UT, columbia or somewhere else - you will probably find smart people similar to you. consider that and take a deep breath.</p>