<p>No- actually the colleges ( who share information), can see that the applicant who isn’t sure what they are looking for or what university could make that available to him- is not likely to be any more decisive once they get to campus.</p>
<p>When you understand what you want , what your strenghts and weaknesses are and are able to see past the glossy brochures to the institution that exists- you don’t need to apply to so many schools</p>
<p>It’s too bad the D in post #32 didn’t realize premed isn’t a major- she could have gotten the med tech degree like a couple of my med school classmates in the early '70’s and also made sure she had the med school prereqs, done her application and informed her parents she was going. Back then she would have borrowed like the rest of us whose parents had no money.</p>
<p>I came from an area where a classmate told me at a HS reunion he “only” had a bachelor’s degree- the comment stuck because I now live in an area where a proud grandma considered tech school college. It was an eye opener to realize that where you lived in the same state influenced your thinking about attending college, not just how well you did in school. Back in the early '70’s there were students from my area who probably shouldn’t have tried college and those here who should have gone but nobody encouraged them to. In the late 1940’s my mother was discouraged from the math/science/engineering path she would have excelled at- instead she didn’t study and flunked out.</p>
<p>Much of this discussion strikes me as one that could take place only in the post-affluent segment of our society. For most Americans (not to mention the vast majority of people in the non-American world) the question is not “what can I do to feel fulfilled”, but “how best can I prepare to support myself and (in the future, perhaps) my family?” That is the attitude that I try and instill in my kids. Don’t tell me that you’re not interested in some potential career because it sounds “boring.” That’s why they call it work! If what you turn out to do is interesting, that’s a plus–but only a plus.</p>
<p>Exactly EMM1! My sister was torn between “Interior Design” and becoming a surgeon. She decided she could be a surgeon to pay the bills and have INCOME to use for interior decorating. It seems like parental malpractice not to TRY and convince your child to find something they will enjoy THAT can support them and their families in the future. </p>
<p>My friend’s major in anthropology wasn’t very helpful when her husband left her with 3 small kids. She worked 3 minimum wage jobs to support her kids. That boring accounting or engineering degree certainly would have made her life easier!</p>
<p>“So college is a vocational school? I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree for most.”</p>
<p>I always find it particularly charming when people who know nothing about me make implicit value judgments about the way that I live my life. But in any event, philistine that I am, I actually believe that the basic purpose for going to college is vocational. If I want my children to grow intellectually and emotionally, I’ll take a year’s tuition and send them around the world with the stipulation that they also read one hundred serious books during the year.</p>
<p>My D applied to one and only one CC & later one & only one transfer 4-year U. She has attended both, happily & is now at flagship U where she is learning German over the summer. A friend’s D also applied to only 1 U–UVa & then only grad program – Harvard’s master’s in applied psychology. Happily, she was accepted & completed both. She has a history of only making one application–only applied to one private school for K-12 too.</p>
<p>Our parents just had “veto” power but otherwise encouraged us to pursue our interests. They vetoed me going into Community Service and Public Affairs in college, so I majored in sociology & went on to law school. I practiced law for a while & now am back into public health, so the circle does revolve. My parents generally encouraged the girls to go into teaching & the boys to go into law or medicine. Everyone is fairly content.</p>
<p>I know a guy who went to law school to please his parents but then went to med school to please himself. He’s happily practicing medicine. Another went to law school, got his degree & became a “gentleman farmer.” He’s happy as well. I know another guy who got a degree in travel industry, hated after a year, went to law school, hated it after a number of years & is now a corporate banking attorney, which he seems to like better.</p>
<p>“My references? Erm…I’m not sure. My own experiences plus success stories I have heard?”</p>
<p>You gave the impression that there was some research behind your statement. When someone on CC states something, some (or many) others will assume that there is some research behind the statement as lots of CCers are or have been involved in research. You evidence is simply anecdotal which carries much less weight absent other evidence or reasoning.</p>
<p>“I tend to make money easier at things I am naturally good at. And I loved doing what I do, which helped greatly in making me focus on the job.”</p>
<p>They say the neon lights are bright on broadway
They say there’s always magic in the air
But when you’re walkin’ down that street
And you ain’t had enough to eat
The glitter rubs right off and you’re nowhere</p>
<p>We told S4 he could go into anything but pre-med in college, all through middle and high school. We though it would be a difficult and long road for him to travel. </p>
<p>So, guess what his field of study is? Pre-med/Biology and he’s thinking surgery as the specialty. We were really half joking and had to tone it down during his junior year. My wife wanted him to go engineering, but I saw more scientist in him than engineering. We have no plans to cut him off, but will likely help less during his second four years.</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me that you’re not interested in some potential career because it sounds “boring.” That’s why they call it work! If what you turn out to do is interesting, that’s a plus–but only a plus.”</p>
<p>Don’t you think that’s kind of harsh? Isn’t there any middle ground? That almost sounds like you would encourage someone to pick a career ONLY because of it’s money making potential. Why would you want your child to pick something that they feel would be “boring” - which seems to imply they have NO basic interest in it? My child’s passion is literature - reading, writing, critical thinking. He’ll probably end up an English major. Not sure exactly what he’ll do with that degree (teaching, law, writing, publishing) who knows - he certainly doesn’t!!! He’s barely 18 years old. But the point is, the career path he chooses will have SOMETHING to do with what he enjoys. Just because he might be more likely to get a job and make more money if he went into another field (engineering? medicine? business?), I would never encourage him in that direction…</p>
<p>I do have to say that my son is NOT the type who is really driven by money and financial gain. As long as he understands that the choice is his and so are the consequences. He definitely would NOT be happy working at a job that was boring just to make the big bucks.</p>
<p>I wasn’t given the opportunity to really pursue a passion. I came from a very, very old fashioned family who thought it was only logical that their daughter go to “secretarial school” after high school (my 690/720 SAT’s didn’t really impress them).</p>
<p>I’m sure there are lots of people out there who can tell the “parents knew best and it all turned out great” stories, but I definitely don’t agree. I think following your heart is important.</p>
<p>I guess the bottom line is knowing your own kid. What works for one definitely would not work for all. It’s not a one size fits all situation.</p>
<p>“I guess the bottom line is knowing your own kid.”</p>
<p>Perhaps most parents don’t know their kids.</p>
<p>How many here spent at least an hour a day talking to each of their kids in high-school? I’ve seen statistics on this about ten years ago and they were pretty dismal but I don’t recall the numbers.</p>
<p>“I think following your heart is important.”</p>
<p>What if your heart is just plain wrong? What if you don’t know what your “heart” is saying? What if someone else has a far better handle on jobs, careers and your talents and abilities? What if someone else has knowledge of career options that you’re not familiar with?</p>
<p>BCEagle - I think it’s sad if most parents really don’t know their kid…and if that’s the case, why would they think they are qualified to give such important advice? If you don’t know your kid very well, how can you tell them what career to pursue? On what are you basing the advice - simply money making potential?</p>
<p>And by the way - I can’t say it’s true every single day, but I think I do talk to both of my kids at least an hour a day. In the car, during dinner, over weekend breakfast, etc. Both of my kids do actually talk to me quite a bit and seem to value my opinion and do sometimes ask for advice. Not saying they always follow it…Also not saying we don’t have our own parent/child issues, but communicating that way isn’t really one of them!!</p>
<p>And the part about the heart being wrong - I’d rather my son follow HIS heart and be wrong, then follow MY heart/head and be wrong. And again, in my particular situation, he has a definite passion. I know I would be doing him a dis-service if I didn’t encourage him in that direction, or if I tried to convince him to pursue something else because I thought he could be more financially successful in a different field. I happen to think with his particular “skill set,” he’d make a fantastic attorney. At this point, he doesn’t think it’s something in which he’d be interested. I have faith that he’ll figure it out.</p>
<p>If a kid really doesn’t know what they want and actively seeks their parents’ input on their career choice - go for it!! I’m just a little uncomfortable when I hear stories about people who seem to almost force their kids to pursue careers/majors in which they have no interest or desire. Let me say, yet again, that’s how I feel for me and my kids…Every family is different.</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me that you’re not interested in some potential career because it sounds “boring.” That’s why they call it work! If what you turn out to do is interesting, that’s a plus–but only a plus.”</p>
<p>Don’t you think that’s kind of harsh? Isn’t there any middle ground? That almost sounds like you would encourage someone to pick a career ONLY because of it’s money making potential."</p>
<p>First, very few kids have any idea what jobs are really like. Second, most jobs (even very good jobs) are at least 95% boredom. Many affluent kids don’t get this. Finally, the first objective is get a job–any job–but hopefully one that pays fairly well. It will make the rest of your life much easier.</p>
<p>That being said, I would applaud any of my children who chose to take a low paying job doing some kind of genuine community service. But even in that case, they should be prepared to do something that pays better in the event that they want or need money at some point in life.</p>
<p>The cost of following the heart can be high indeed. Four years of schooling that turns out to be a dead end or the excitement of a relationship in teenage years that turns into kids where the teens aren’t really equipped to deal with a family.</p>
<p>Failure is certainly a strong and memorable instructor but it can also be very inefficient.</p>
<p>Wow - how the heck did we go from choosing your child’s future career/college major to teenage pregnancy!!! That’s another whole conversation as far as I’m concerned. </p>
<p>BC - Maybe I’m just a little too much of an idealist…not bad after 48 years of the real world. I just feel strongly that my son will be less likely to end-up in a dead-end career or become a “failure” (your word, not mine), if he pursues his passion. And by the way, if you’re basing your opinion of failure versus success simply on financial gain - now that’s really sad. There I go - sounding like an idealist again.</p>
<p>And EMM1 - do you really think that “most jobs (even very good jobs) are at least 95% boredom.”? Really? Even my not particularly overly satisfying/stimulating secretarial job is not that boring!!! And I don’t agree that “getting a job - any job - but hopefully one that pays fairly well” is the main objective. The main objective for what exactly? Certainly not happiness. I know an awful lot of very rich people, with very high paying jobs, who are extremely unhappy. Money does not equal happiness! And while it might make life “easier” in some aspects, it is not the answer to everything!!! Sounding too idealistic again? Sorry - it’s definitely how I feel.</p>
<p>“Wow - how the heck did we go from choosing your child’s future career/college major to teenage pregnancy!!!”</p>
<p>We’re talking about dreams and the ability of teenagers to make decisions.</p>
<p>“And by the way, if you’re basing your opinion of failure versus success simply on financial gain - now that’s really sad.”</p>
<p>Strawman.</p>
<p>I make more money trading than I do at my professional job. But I enjoy my professional job more than I do trading. Even to the point that I’d do it for free (and I have donated huge amounts of time to Open Source projects).</p>
<p>Sad is simply your opinion. Happy may be just as sad for someone that can’t put food on the table.</p>
<p>'ll take a year’s tuition and send them around the world with the stipulation that they also read one hundred serious books during the year.</p>
<p>Seriously how fast do your kids read?
A hundred books?
My D is traveling around the Indian subcontinent and considering that train travel is so crammed that you can’t touch the knee of the person sitting across from you, and that there are so many other things to experience while traveling than reading " serious" ( what does that mean? Proust? Asimov? Sontag?) books that you can read anytime.</p>
<p>Honestly I would rather she take an hour everyday to write if she only had an hour to sit with good light, than an hour to read.
That is over two serious books a week.
Slamming one hundred books a year isn’t going to teach you as much as reading one or two and really thinking about the ideas that they raise and if you are really going to take the time to spend traveling around the world why spend it doing something you can do in your own bedroom?</p>
<p>Sorry if you were only exagerating to make a point- I tend to be very literal.</p>
<p>My friend’s major in anthropology wasn’t very helpful when her husband left her with 3 small kids. She worked 3 minimum wage jobs to support her kids. That boring accounting or engineering degree certainly would have made her life easier!</p>
<p>Did she keep up her job skills and contacts while staying home with three young children? That is going to make a bigger impact in being able to reenter the work force after divorce or job loss of the primary wage earner, not the choice of undergraduate major.</p>
<p>( plus didn’t her husband share custody pay child support? )</p>
<p>Don’t worry about that, If your senior didn’t make it, his parents have no one to blame but themselves… But later on if he’d learn to appreciate what his parents want him to be, (though i’m afraid that he wouldn’t enjoy his college life) guess he’ll be proud of himself too…</p>