Sad time for some kids

<p>“Directional” universities can have quality programs with smaller class sizes and friendlier atmospheres than the giant 50,000-student flagships. Don’t pooh-pooh a school based on the words in its name.</p>

<p>Thanks for all of the responses - even those of you who appear horrified at the thought that I might have opened my son’s mail! For what it’s worth - I did not, but I did call the scholarship office at my son’s request, as he is in school/at practice until after 5:00 and has no opportunity to do so himself. His acceptance packet took 3.5 weeks to arrive, and he wanted to be certain that his scholarship letter didn’t fall in the same black hole.</p>

<p>Ideally, we need to keep our total out of pocket cost well under $10,000 a year. And that much will be a strain.</p>

<p>I’m sorry if my initial post was confusing - I was likely rambling. The breakdown is this - </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Avg. State Flagship (i.e. not Chapel Hill or UVA-level) $2,500 scholarship + $5,000 Hope. According to the scholarship office, all awards were mailed out on Jan 21st. Maybe they’re not telling the truth, but we can’t count on that fact. Leaves approx $10k. He would have to take out loans.</p></li>
<li><p>Alabama - he was awarded full tuition - approx $21k vs. total COA of $36k. Leaves approx $15k</p></li>
<li><p>OOS Public he really liked - $0 scholarship vs. COA of approx $25k - not gonna happen</p></li>
<li><p>Small Christian Liberal Arts School - recruited in his 2nd sport - between academic, athletic, and Hope money, roughly $26k vs. COA of $33k - leaves $7000 - getting closer, but not his first choice sport.</p></li>
<li><p>Small liberal arts school #2 - recruited in his sport of choice - academic & athletic aid combined approx $16.5k vs COA of $31k - leaves $14.5k</p></li>
<li><p>2 Upper-end liberal arts schools that release decisions March 15th - known for fairly good merit aid, but still, @ $46-$48k per year it’d have to be pretty amazing.</p></li>
<li><p>Local Directional U - Financial safety, decent school, doesn’t have either of his sports at a varsity level, but has his #1 @ club level. Lots of friends going, 30 minutes from home. So far, Hope + Scholarship = $8k vs. coa of $13k - leaving $5k, with more to come we’re told. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>In answer to the “why did he apply there if he didn’t want to go” question - Applying to Alabama was my son’s choice - all of his schools were. I encouraged him to apply to a variety of places for two reasons - we knew we needed extensive aid in order for him to be able to go most places. According to the financial pre-read at one of his schools, we are not Pell eligible, and due to my husband’s age and health issues, I simply can’t take out a ton of loans.<br>
The other reason is he had just turned 17 when making the decisions where to apply. He wanted a variety of choices should his interests change between last fall and next fall. </p>

<p>We talked about this over dinner last night, and he spent about 5 minutes in “that sucks” mode, and then sat up and said - “Ok, what are my choices now?” He narrowed his focus to the state flagship, small school w/sport #2 and local directional U. Decided he didn’t want to have to compete in sport #2 for 4 years to pay tuition so nixed #2. Further decided that he didn’t want to take out loans to attend avg. flagship with 20k people. nixed #1. Landed on local directional U. Our cost will be less than $5k - possibly way less.
Texted a friend who he knows is going that needs a roommate, and is ready to buy the hoodie.</p>

<p>On the positive side, he will likely graduate with a great GPA and no debt - both good things if you plan to go to medical school. There is also a med school, and they tend to give preference to grads of the program here. </p>

<p>So, to make a long story short (too late, I know!) - he is disappointed, but is also very practical. He handled it way better that I thought he would and I’m proud of him.</p>

<p>Happy to hear that he’s been able to find a solution that meets both his academic/athletic interests and your family’s practical needs. One of my kids made her final decision based largely on scholarship offered, and although the school she ended up at wasn’t ever at the top of her list, she’s having a wonderful experience there and is looking forward to the freedom that graduating debt-free will give her later on.</p>

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<p>All parents should keep this statement in mind.</p>

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<p>I think this is great, and I don’t want to throw any monkey wrench in, but I have a question just for my own edification.</p>

<p>Given his ACT score, reasonable GPA, and national level athletic ability, is there any reason he didn’t apply to any Ivy League type/level schools? </p>

<p>With over 30,000 kids applying to Harvard it seems like he certainly wasn’t out of the ballpark for schools like this. Is it just because he/you felt he would not be able to pay for them even with need based aid, or is it because he was really set on the Southeast? Or was it another reason - eg he just didn’t like the schools.</p>

<p>Really, I’m just curious so don’t jump on me people. I know Ivy league is not the be-all and end-all for everyone. This approach just seems so different from 90% of the kids on here. Which may mean it is actually the most reasonable approach.</p>

<p>I believe if parents are honest from the get go, are involved and know where their students are applying, understand the “big picture” and have open lines of communication the kids might be disappointed but they won’t be blindsided and will handle the situation admirably. I’m amazed at posts from kids that are only applying to privates, have high need and seem not to be communicating with the parents. I also look at this a very important ‘education’ moment about purchasing power and saving and making solid cost/value life decisions. OP you are approaching this in my opinion in an excellent manner and your son is learning a valuable lesson. When he hits med school and after he will realize, if he doesn’t already, that wise decisions were made. Best wishes to your family going forward.</p>

<p>^^ Bovertine - that’s not a bad question at all. He toyed with the idea of applying to either Dartmouth or Princeton - there were things about both schools that he really liked. He certainly had the test scores to get in, and a not-insurmountable GPA if he’d had coach’s support.
It came down to two factors, really - both schools only had his #2 sport at the varsity level, so he would in essence be giving up the sport he loves and spends 20+ hours a week on just to garner the support to get in. He realized he could “use” the support to gain admission and not continue for 4 years, but he’s a stand-up kid and that did not seem right to him.
The second factor is going to school 10-17 hours away is truly outside his comfort zone. He has a 10yr old sister he adores and a 75 yr old father, both of whom he’d like to be able to see and spend time with over the next 4 years - more time than a few weeks in the summer and at Christmas. He really limited his search to schools within easy driving distance for weekend visits. He decided, after the fact, that Alabama, at 6.5 hours, was just too far. </p>

<p>As much as I would like to be able to say my son is at (insert prestigious school here), I believe he has probably made the wisest choice, all things considered.</p>

<p>^^^ Wow. Sounds like a fantastic young man. I hope he becomes a doc, we could use more like that.</p>

<p>Are there any scholarships through your high school? One of my kids gets $5K a year from some annonymous donor through our high school and the other gets $7.5 K a year, plus he got an additional $5K (one time) from another group. I think we found out about them in late spring.</p>

<p>JCC, glad it will all work out for him. Out of curiosity, what are sports #1 and #2?</p>

<p>Your son sounds like such a great guy. I am sure you are very proud. I’m sorry you had to experience that pang of disappointment. It hurts not to be able to give our kids the sun, the moon and the stars. But it sounds like you have given him a wonderful start in life. Best to all of you!</p>

<p>Sports #1 and 2 are cycling and swimming, respectively. He’s a much better cyclist than swimmer- i.e. top 10 nationally some years/in some disciplines and probably top no worse than top 20-25 every year in any given discipline. By comparison, he’s probably top 15 in our state in swimming, qualified for state all 4 years, etc. Good enough to get him lots of looks and several offers, but just under big-time D1 level. The time commitment for both sports is huge, and he had to factor in how he really wanted to spend his time outside the classroom for the next 4 years.</p>

<p>tx5athome - good question. There are likely small scholarships he will pick up along the way between now and fall. But, how do you make a decision based on that probability?
The issue he has is he is basically holding recruiting slots at several schools in both sports that rightfully could/should go to other deserving athletes if he chooses not to attend. He is, of course, being <em>mildly</em> pressured to sign by the coaches, and would like to be able to tell them one way or the other, sooner rather than later. They have all dealt with him in an outstanding, straight-up manner. He’d like to be able to do the same, and not string them along hoping to pick-up enough outside money to make the schools do-able. He will be racing against these same coaches for the next 4 years - it’s a small world and he’d like to stay on good terms. We’ve been clear about our financial needs from day one, so I don’t think any will be surprised (but probably disappointed!)</p>

<p>Finally - thanks to everyone for the nice and generous comments. Bias aside :), he really is a great kid and I’m sure will make the most of his next 4 years!</p>

<p>He sounds like a great kid. </p>

<p>Is the Olympic Training Center a possibility for him for cycling? I understand that athletes there get in-state tuition at the local colleges. (University of Colorado, Colorado Springs, and Pikes Peak CC.)</p>

<p>arabrab - he has actually been to the Olympic Training Center already and loved his experience there. That may be about the only thing that would make him think twice about being far away…</p>

<p>Right there with you, JCC. We’re waiting on numbers, knowing full well that if they don’t come in, od1 will be attending the university where I work. It’s a fine school, and she’ll be able to live on campus because of the tuition benefit, but she won’t be “going away” to college. I’ve been upfront with her from the beginning, but I would still love to see some choice (we’ve applied for a recprical benefit at 2 other schools; probably 2-3 weeks before we hear anything). </p>

<p>Things work out. She’ll take it pretty well, it’s just we . . . wanted “more”.</p>

<p>Jcc,
It sound like you both have it figured out. It’s nice to have criteria which are important to you in order to rule out schools. My S only had one - cold (not very noble, but a criteria nonetheless). Your son sounds like a nice, grounded boy. Good luck in which ever direction you go, I’m sure it will work out fine.
Roll Tide</p>

<p>If you can pay up to $10,000 per year, then why not have him apply to colleges (such as certain Ivy League schools) where demonstrated need is covered and use the money to fly him home when he wants?</p>

<p>I am confused as the OP is looking/hoping for Merit aid, hence, their EFC must be significant…So following along this thought, applying to schools that have great “need” based aid might not work…I assume Fafsa was filled out,so what(without being nosy) is your EFC?</p>

<p>What about the son taking out some student loans?</p>

<p>This is just my opinion, but what´s important about going to college is to get a good education, not to pursue a sport. Doing varsity sport is very time consuming. Frankly, for the amount of time it is required, they should really get paid (scholarship).</p>

<p>Would a work-study program be out of the question? He could also become a RA sophomore year so that housing would be free.</p>