<p>OK, so maybe that is an exageration but I am definitely feeling down. My bright son had a disasterous sophomore year but seemed to be steadily improving during his junior year. (He is a kid that we thought would be able to apply to schools like Wesleyan, Middlebury etc based on ability). We just received his report card and he has C's in 2 of his AP classes and a comment about poor work habits from his latin teacher ( he has always had A's in latin) etc. </p>
<p>I told him that everyone has been working really hard to help him succeed except for him. How can he get decent letters of rec when he isn't doing well in any of his classes? I know that it won't be the end of the world if he has to go to our local, not so good state college but I still can't help feeling really upset....</p>
<p>There comes a point when parents need to step back a little and let the kids start taking responsibility for their actions. He knows what it takes to earn A’s but isn’t willing to put in the work. He’s old enough to understand how it works. His junior year is almost over and he will have to adjust his college list (reaches, matches, safeties) accordingly.</p>
<p>College admission’s offices will look at his HS Transcript through 11th grade when evaluating him for admission. They will also look at the rigor of his senior year classes and will want to see his senior year mid-year grades to make sure that he hasn’t shown a downward trend in his grades.</p>
<p>Things usually work out in the end so don’t stress out too much about it. It’s important to remember that he needs to find his dream and passion and it may not be the same dream or passion that you envisioned for him.</p>
<p>My first thought was the same as the previous poster - what does your S say about his performance? Does he think he’s trying hard but just not achieving the results expected? Or does he think he’s not applying himself as much as he should and if so why? Does he think he’s distracted by something other than schoolwork - girlfriend, video games, TV, alcohol, drugs, social group, etc.? Does he actually do his HW and spend an appropriate amount of time studying? I think the best thing to do is to see what he thinks might be the issue.</p>
<p>The good news is that he’s not failing but if you and he don’t think he’s performing at the level he’s capable of then he should focus on determining why.</p>
<p>What is it about teenage boys? (Yeah I know, a rhetorical question.) Most of my friends were screw ups in HS, and we all turned out all right. We had a couple of picture perfects too, and their lives turned out, well, less that what everyone predicted. The difference, as best we former screw ups can figure, is that each of us eventually got tired of our behaviors … and that was what turned our lives around. </p>
<p>The moral of this little story is that knowing what’s making the boy behave badly may NOT be sufficient to start correcting his behavior. If he isn’t going to try …</p>
<p>When you are feeling calmer, try talking to your son about how he’s doing. Set aside the grades and really open your heart. I’ve been surprised by things my son has told me lately. As the transition from high school to college becomes more real, it seems all three of us are showing stress in different ways.</p>
<p>My S, and I think a lot of teenagers, still have a little trouble drawing motivation from future goals. Mathmatically he knows A+B=C but in day-to-day life, he seems to forget about the step between A and C. </p>
<p>I know how stressful this can be. Just love your kid and love yourself and the rest will work itself out.</p>