With news of sexual assault pandemic at colleges, what tips, tools did you pack with your daughter?
^Realize that anything classified as a weapon may be banned on a lot of college campuses, even pepper spray.
Oh geeze.
Look, most sexual assaults happen when the victim/survivor has been drinking. That isn’t victim-blaming, it’s just the truth. At that point, s/he isn’t going to be able to use any “weapons” given to him/her and if s/he does, it’s more likely to hurt him/her than anyone else.
It’s the basics: drink slowly and drink water, never leave a drink alone, never drink something that hasn’t been opened by you, walk in groups, etc.
I’m in my mid-20s and in my 8th year of some sort of college. I’ve never carried anything on me until this year. I carry pepper spray now but I’m not afraid of getting sexually attacked. I’m afraid of getting attacked by someone mistaking me for someone wearing a hijab (which have happened recently at my uni).
None.
Try not to get alarmist about this.
Always go to parties with friends and have a code not to leave one another. Watch consumption of alcohol so you can stay in control. Never walk alone at night. When I was in college and after I ran and always carried pepper spray. It just made me feel safer. I think about that lovely woman in CA who was kidnapped recently and I couldn’t help but wish she had some pepper spray with her.
My question was about non lethal weapons, like mace, pepper, taser etc.
A weapon doesn’t have to be lethal to be banned, only dangerous.
Life is full of risks. There’s a chance something will happen to them every time they get in a car. All you can do is teach them what to do to minimize risks. Those are the best and most effective tools. A few have been mentioned in this thread and many more in other threads. Most are common sense.
What you don’t want to is set them on a path of living in fear every time they walk out the door.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Unless one is looking to get this thread closed, this is not going to degenerate into a discussion about the 2nd Amendment or individual state laws. Pretend that the OP asked “What advice did you give you daughter(s) and son(s)?”
^ My point was that what you can do at a university in state X might be different than what you can legally do in state Y.
If the OP is asking for actionable advice for her kids in state X, then knowing what someone does in state Y might not be relevant.
Don’t drink. If you decide to drink, do so responsibly and get your own drink and keep an eye on it. Also have a designated buddy who will not drink and will look out for you. Do the same for your friends.
A basic martial arts self defense class is probably a good idea.
I think self defense classes, classes about alcohol intoxication, effects of drug use, common sense Seminar etc can be helpful. On top of that cell phone apps, mace, pepper spray, key chain devices with loud panic button etc are another line of defense.
However, as most cases involve alcohol, athletes, cheerleaders, sororities, fraternities, off campus partying, drugs and irresponsible sexual behavior by both sexes, colleges, parents and society in general needs to do some soul searching and find out where we went wrong and what we need to do to protect our youth.
The problem is that the majority of sexual assaults happen in the first few months of your first year. Classes at the start of the year aren’t going to help that.
Do you have evidence for this? Other than alcohol, I’m not aware of any of the other ones being involved in “most cases.”
Teach your children that sex is NEVER an expectation. Whether it be a date, a drink, even a make-out session while naked on your bed, NONE of these mean that sex is inevitable whether you want it or not. Teach your children not to pressure anyone. Ever.
Most of the things you describe are more for the “jump out of the bushes” rapist. That’s not how the vast, vast majority of sexual assaults happen.
How about a dose of common sense?
Like thumper1 says most tips would fall under the category of common sense: don’t drink until you black out, watch your drinks, don’t walk alone late at night, and don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re alone at some boy’s apartment. A self defense class isn’t a bad idea either.
@romanigypsyeyes Pickup newspapers and look at let’s say last 100 cases from Stanford to Baylor to Columbia and you will have your proof.
Those are cases that make the papers @WorryHurry411 . Many sexual assaults go unreported so it’s difficult to prove your hypothesis with anecdotal data.
Or, you know, I could have access to campus sexual assault statistics since I have worked in campus sexual assault prevention for several years. Sexual assaults happen to approximately 1 in 5 to 1 in 4 women. You want to tell me that athletes and cheerleaders make up 20-25% of the student population? And that’s assuming that they’re doing the vast majority of the assaults and are the vast majority of victims. That is not the case.
Sexual assaults are most likely to happen to first year students in the first few months of college. Yes, they’re more likely off campus than on. Drugs play a VERY small role compared to alcohol. Athletes and cheerleaders, as far as I know, are not actually disproportionately affected. Sororities can’t have alcohol so there’s a conflict within your statement.
The list goes on and on. Soul searching is meaningless. We know the problems but we largely choose to ignore them. Blaming them on x, y, and z just glosses over the problem.
Your newspapers pick up the sensational stories. Those stories are not a representative sample.
It’s not that alcohol, drugs, sports, Greek life and party culture cause all rapes but they are cause of an alaramingly high percentage.
There is a self-defense group that markets what looks like a small ice scraper for a car windshield that can be carried with keys. This can be used to fight an attacker (thrust into eye or throat to incapacitate and then run) yet is legal to carry.