<p>Gosh, who knew I would be posting so much on CC while in college...</p>
<p>Some 20-something creeper sat next to me in the subway. I felt uncomfortable next to him because he was taking much more space than he should have by spreading his legs widely apart, generally disregarding my presence next to him and just being so close to me. Whatever, I just moved, since the train as 2/3 empty. No eye contact or anything.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, we got off at the same station, and he kept annoying me all the way up ("why did you move"; "do I smell or something?"; "do you think you're better than me?"; and started talking about my size, general appearance in a derogatory way; said that I should be nicer because we share the same ethnicity (?), etc...). Whatever, I really couldn't care less, except that it was night time and I live in a semi-rural area, I was by myself and there was really nobody around except some teenage couple and a few old people. I'm not very big, I was very tired, did not have a cell phone and knew that nobody was expecting me, so I tried to downplay it by being chill and saying it's was alright, I just went where there was more space, but he angrily kept going through his monologue, doing gestures, etc... Maybe I should have ignored him?</p>
<p>When I saw that he was just walking off his own way from the station, I thought I would wait at the bus stop and make sure to watch him go his own way (which so happened to be mine too but he didn't know that) then take the bus to my parents' place instead of walking as usual (didn't want to awkwardly walk after him). And even more so unfortunately the bus stopped at my parents' stop at the exact same moment he got there. There is this really dark park I have to get through to go home and people have reported muggings and aggressions around there, because there is literally nobody out past 8pm but it's the only way to go. I ran and hoped he wouldn't follow me because he would have been a much much better runner.</p>
<p>Anyway, my point is just, what "precautions" are people supposed to take to ensure that they can defend themselves "by themselves"? I like being independent and not have to overly worry about being alone at night, etc... Would you recommend your child to take up martial arts or fighting lessons? Do you keep OC spray 24/7? I'm not much of a "safety person" and come back late from places all the time, never had a problem, but this makes me realize how quickly and randomly crappy situations like that can happen. What do people do about that these days?</p>
<p>I would have considered getting off at the next stop if it wasn’t too hard to come back.</p>
<p>For my daughter: I’d pick her up if she had to take public transportation to a nearby place. Our son I don’t worry about.</p>
<p>I have been accosted by aggressive panhandlers before who get in your face as you try to ignore them. For me, we got by the person by paying the fare and going through the turnstyle. This person was hanging around the change machines where you get subway tokens.</p>
<p>If you were tired and at a major size disadvantage, then martial arts might not have helped that much and could make a situation worse.</p>
<p>In general, it’s better to plan ahead so that you don’t get into positions of risk so that you don’t have to be concerned about carrying a weapon or potentially getting into a fight.</p>
<p>I would catch the bus or whatever to a very well-lit place that is very busy & call a parent or take a taxi to where I knew there would be people (folks’ home or wherever). Would NOT get out in a dark area where creep was also likely to get out. I also encourage my kids to have their phones on them, especially when they’re out at night. It’s always good to have at least as a prop to say, “Yea, I’m almost there now. I can see you already. Will be there in 5 minutes.” You can do this even if there is no one on the other end.</p>
<p>Pepper spray can be purchased at sporting goods stores. Planning ahead and being aware of your surroundings is good, which you obviouslydid(except forgetting your phone). Be safe</p>
<p>I think all the suggestions you got were good. In addition, I think when someone is making you feel uneasy I think you need to make sure others around you know what is going on. In a loud voice I would face this jerk and tell him to bug off before you call the police, and then call them if the situation doesn’t improve and s/he doesn’t leave. Make sure others notice the jerk and take note. I think sometimes we worry about taking people to task for their bad behavior, but at night, alone in isolated areas, it is no time to worry what other think of us. And always have the number of the local cab company handy. Sorry you had to deal with this. I hope it is the last time.</p>
<p>A whistle or other LOUD car alarm or noise can be very effective. Call attention to the pest/jerk and he will disappear quickly. It was smart of you NOT to go home alone to a rural area that is dark and not very populated. It is good if you can have a buddy system so that you can call someone and let them know where you are, how you’re getting home & roughly when you expect to arrive so they can look for you if you don’t appear. Even if you don’t, ACT like you do. Be alert and purposeful.</p>
<p>Many crimes are those of opportunity. Don’t be an easy victim. It’s best not to go in any car that is mostly empty–try to ride near the driver and other people.</p>
<p>If so, look for the “zebra.” it’s up in the air, alongside the tracks. It’s a sign of sorts–it’s long and thin and has diagonal black and white lines. It marks the place where the conductor’s car stops. When your traveling at any time other than rush hour, the safest course of action is to ride in that car. The zebra lets you know where to stand to get in. </p>
<p>If you have any problem, the conductor will know about it. He can get help. He may intervene. Most importantly, every pick pocket, subway beggar, and even most of the deranged folks who ride the subway avoid that car. (They can’t sleep in it, for one thing.) When you are traveling late at night, the conductor’s car will have the most people in it. </p>
<p>If you do move seats, I myself use this sort of silly strategy when I’m moving because I think the person next to me is nuts. I get up and look at the map or the lit display with all the lights. In other words, I try to make it look as if I got up because I needed to check the map. Then I sit down under the map/display. (Moving cars when the subway is moving is dangerous! In NYC, it’s also illegal.) </p>
<p>The only other thing I think you might have done is to tell the bus driver that you got hassled by this guy at the subway station and you’re a bit worried that he’ll start up again. In NYC at least, the drivers all can communicate with the dispatcher and sometimes they will ask the cops to take a ride by. Or sometimes, late at night, the driver will wait a few minutes to see if the guy does follow you and, if he does, then call the cops. I’ll admit this probably works better for females then males. </p>
<p>If lots of people have to walk through that park, contact your local elected officials and ask that the area be lit late at night. Get up a petition in your neighborhood to support it. If there have been muggings there and you can document that fact, there’s a good chance you’ll convince the authorities to install one. </p>
<p>I don’t think you can ever completely eliminate risk.</p>
<p>You might ask for blue light call boxes in this park. I remember when these went up at BC a long time ago and they’re common on college campuses today.</p>
<p>Just to offer a slight caution on a logically great suggestion by HImom re: pulling out your phone and getting on it/pretending to get on it. Note that phone theft–particularly iPhones–is huge right now, and especially on public transport. Just Google “iPhone theft” and you will be shocked!</p>
<p>My college freshman boarded a public bus from his uni to the airport to come home for winter break, and shortly after he sat down, a hand came over his shoulder and snatched his iPhone out of his hands. Creepy! The thief was in motion and out of the door before my son knew what had happened! Other passengers said it appeared there was a second “spotter” (a kid est. age 12–so sad) working with the thief–his job was to hang out near the bus door to identify easy marks as they boarded.</p>
<p>My son activitated the remote search and also data wipe feature from an Internet station at the airport within an hour of the theft; however, it didn’t appear effective–talking to ATT about it when I called to report theft/suspend service, they said thieves usually turn the phone off and remove the SIM card. See [MobileMe:</a> Troubleshooting Find My iPhone](<a href=“http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2734]MobileMe:”>Official Apple Support)</p>
<p>Just to clarify, I meant I would switch cars at the next stop, and I would do it by rising suddenly when the door was open, so the person could not follow me.</p>
<p>Years ago I had a situation where a man at an empty dark bus stop started making a friendly conversation with me. Then he told me his name was Spike. He took out what looked like an extra long thick nail, and said, “because I like to drive these through people’s skulls” It chills me just to think of it. Thankfully the bus came, I sat next to the driver, while the man moved to the back. I told the driver, who let me out in a safe spot without the guy following me. My moral being, as people have said, try to make quick friends with anyone who happens to be around.</p>
<p>One of my sisters was at South Station (Boston) around 7:00 PM and a pimp basically said come with me if you don’t want to get hurt. She didn’t know what to do and got up to go with him. Fortunately a few police officers (or station security) came by and he took off. This was a few decades ago and she’s far more careful now when traveling.</p>
<p>Wow! D was riding her bike alone recently in broad daylight in LA near her campus (USC) when several young men yelled at her from across the street & started toward her. She took off rapidly on her bike to campus & LOTS of people. That was the main time she felt alarmed, so far.</p>
<p>Take a personal safety/defense class. There are many things you can do to prepare yourself to deal with threatening strangers. First, don’t look like a victim, walk assertively. Public transit employee are trained to help you and can contact police. One easy self-defense suggestion is to hold your keys with one sticking out between your fingers - easy to rake a face if needed. Also, never be afraid to kick a guy where it counts.</p>
<p>Another thing that I don’t think was mentioned is that young people who are in the habit of wearing headphones most of the time put themselves at risk because they cannot hear what they need to hear.</p>
<p>Thanks a lot for your answers again! A bit scary to think that it doesn’t get any better and that it can happen at the most random times. I’ll try avoiding coming back home at random night hours from now on then, but, not being able to plan my schedule as I like, wear headphones, hang out outside until late, and other normal pleasant things, sounds like such a constraint…</p>