<p>DD and I had dinner out the other night and when I offered to drive her to her car, she felt that she should walk (it was night). She explained that the car garage (2 - 3 blocks away) was well-lit, etc. It was then that I realized that DD has not the right idea of <em>safety precaution</em>. I insisted on driving her to her car but she was not happy.</p>
<p>So, how have you taught your daughters safety without robbing them of their feeling of confidence? DD is in the stage where she desires independence and doesn't really want advice from me. This however, is advice I feel I must impart.</p>
<p>So, what's the advice and how to give it to a 17 year old who doesn't want mom's advice?</p>
<p>Why do you feel your D needed a ride to her car? Just because it was night?? After dinner means it was, what, 7:30 PM? 8:00 PM? Is the area known to be dangerous?</p>
<p>Everyone has different ideologies on gun ownership but for anyone who can (legally) I recommend carrying a small handgun. Laws are very different in different states, but check the laws in your state and see if it can work for her. Perhaps she can have it somewhere on her person where it is easily accessible?</p>
<p>And one other thing, if you do that, make sure she has shot it before, and can use it properly. And an unloaded gun does you no good if you have to use it, don’t count on a gun scaring someone off.</p>
<p>I know I was on edge the first few times when my then 16 yo daughter had a job at the local mall and had to walk to her car at 9:30, 10 pm. But I had to let her do it. You can’t spend your life afraid of everything. Was this a rough neighborhood? We need context.</p>
<p>1 part requirements, such as buddy system when walking at night. Walking alone is flat-out unacceptable, in any community. require it or she loses everything. somethings are not open to negotiations. was it optional for her to brush her teeth growing up?</p>
<p>1 part communications, text messaging is your friend. know where she is if she’s a hs student.</p>
<p>and 1 part surveillance: get her 2 or 3 closest friend mobile numbers so if you have to find her you can. also, again for hs students, check up on her. nothings changed since kindergarten when they were taught to be honest, if she says she’s at the pizza parlor she better be there if you peak in!</p>
<p>Good luck, but remember bottom line, keep’em alive!</p>
<p>Ours is a University town and everyone feels safe. But really (probably like everywhere) the safety is illusory. A 19 year old girl went missing just 2 weeks ago after a concert. Our downtown area (and the parking garage) boarder on a public housing area. There have been many muggings in the last year. But strangely, the kids feel safe.</p>
<p>I don’t think a gun would help DD unless she carried it in her hand at all times. (Hard to get it out if you are attacked from behind!). Also, I’m opposed to guns in general.</p>
<p>It’s just common sense safety rules I’m looking for - and how to get her to listen to me.</p>
<p>Also, I know that girls should be aware of their drinks, etc. </p>
<p>My daughter is 18, just left for a biggish university in an urban area. Basically, we’ve just spent the last couple of years emphasizing, repeating, and emphasizing again all of the usual safety issues. Like pacheight says, a buddy system is best. Remind her to keep her wits about her. I receive the campus police alert via email each morning, and I send her examples of what can happen when we’re not careful. </p>
<p>Also, many communities (and college campuses) offer self-defense courses. If she is 17 and you provide the car (or any perks), you could insist that she take a course if she is to continue receiving these perks.</p>
<p>And I would never give a 17 year old a handgun.</p>
<p>pacheight, “buddy system when walking at night. Walking alone is flat-out unacceptable, in any community” - I totally agree with this suggestion.</p>
<p>I am baffled that DD is 19 and this rule seems foreign to her. I first asked her if she never learned about safety in school. She told me no, and then I realized it’s my job!</p>
<p>She will resist texting me all the time. She wants her independence and I feel inclined to give it to her. Does anyone have ideas on this issue?</p>
<p>DD has asked for kickboxing for her 18th birthday. Is this a good way to learn defense? I wish she were a female Chuck Norris!! (Instead she’s lovely and petite.)</p>
<p>Encourage her to take a self-defense course.
As a 16 year old, I would tell any teenage girl to take a course. I’ve taken two 6-week courses (Basics and Advanced) and I can’t begin to describe how beneficial they’ve been.</p>
<p>Check with your local police or the school and see if they have any RAD courses. My daughter and her best friend and us Moms did one (organized by our girl scout leader I think)a few years back and it was excellent. It was run by a 2 police officers and they not only taught physical self defense (the last day they had to get past the 2 officers who were dressed in heavy protective padding - think michelin man), taught the girls not to be afraid to hurt someone who is trying to hurt them and gave them a ton of safety tips like not taking drinks from people etc. (they hear better from not a parent). Of course we took the girls to a concert a couple of weeks later and when we picked them up they started telling us how this guy was going to throw his water away so they took it because they were thirsty :rolleyes: We couldn’t believe it. Luckily he wasn’t some weirdo.</p>
<p>I would actually like to see my daughter do a refresher now she is older and out on her own.</p>
<p>Just curious…how would your daughter have gotten to her car IF you had not been there?</p>
<p>Our daughter goes to an urban university which feels like a suburban oasis. We are from a rural community. The school did quite a lot of education with the students about safety in and around the campus and that whenever possible, folks should travel with someone else. </p>
<p>But the reality is…sometimes kids ARE alone. My kid knows where all the blue phones on her campus are and her hand is always ON her cell phone when she is walking. She doesn’t usually go out alone at night, but I’m sure there have been times when she has been alone.</p>
<p>Thumper, my daughter and I were leaving the “dining part” of the town and walking to the parking garages. My car was parked in the area closest to us. She proposed that she walk alone another block or two into another garage where her car was parked. She thought it was perfectly safe because it was lit!</p>
<p>I am in the “don’t walk alone at night” crowd. I also have mixed emotions about self defense classes. Although I don’t think they do any harm, just being a little street smart is good. A tiny female has little power over most men, but learning where to poke and kick is helpful.</p>
<p>When I was in high school in a very small town in Iowa, there was a nut case who attacked several girls. It was (and is) a pleasant little town that most people would view as safe. But it only takes one. What I learned was that wherever you are, you should be aware of what is going on around you. If an area is known to be dangerous, of course extra care should be taken, but young women in particular need to be careful.</p>
<p>While I would never, ever have my child carry a gun, I did just order a small container of mace for both my kids to attach to their keychains. Found it online by googling mace.</p>