SAT Essay (please grade ou of 12 .. thnx !!)

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>assg : is it important to question the ideas and decisions of authority?</p>

<p>ESSAY :</p>

<p>Franklin D. Roosevelt once said ,’’you are disappointed if you fail but you are doomed if you don’t try.’’ In other words,success requires a person to walk on a road that is untravelled or to un-follow the ideas and decisions of authorities. Only when a person moves away from a commonly accepted claim,is he able to vanquish what he desires.This universal notion is explained through out history and literature.
The fact that it is necessary to trespass a pedestrian claim to fulfil desires of myriad of people is shown in the civil rights movement .By refusing to sit at the back seat of a bus where the black were forced to sit ,Rosa Parks violated the common trend and inspired the black public in America . Although she was jailed for her so called ‘mis conduct’.She became the cause of a mass protest in 1962 which lasted for one year. Inspired by this Martin Luther King Jr. gave a speech entitled ‘I have a dream’ to the public which inspired them to struggle for their rights.soon after in 1965, 17th amendment (voting rights for the black and ascertainment of equal status) was enacted which marked the success of their struggles. The rejection by Rosa Parks to accept the common trend resulted in the long awaited gaiety of the black in America.<br>
Another compelling illustration that shows how stepping aside from common conception causes one to lead a better life, is shown in the Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel ,’The Scarlet Letter.’ In the story the protagonist Hester Prynne is charged of adultery and is forced to wear a scarlet letter ‘A’ on her bosom which symboled ‘adulteress’. She was stunned of by the puritan community as they thought that an impure person can do no just deeds. She was heart felt and decided to do good deed from then onwards.Finally her altruism resulted int he change in the public ’s view of her. Hester challenged the perpetuity of impurity and vanquished it thus resulting in her success.
As seen in the above examples of history and literary ,one need not always pursue what is pedestrian conception , sometimes challenging them results in harmony at a greater tier. As stated by Maria Joseph, a socialist -‘’nothing is permanent except change.”</p>

2

<p>I’d probably give it a 2 out of 6. You do not seem to have a good grasp of the english language.</p>

3

<p>can u provide more detailed review</p>

4

<p>^A few comments on your conclusion. These comments are representative of issues throughout the essay.</p>

<p>As seen in the above examples of history and literary - replace “literary” with “literature”</p>

<p>one need not always pursue what is pedestrian conception - not sure what you mean here</p>

<p>sometimes challenging them results in harmony at a greater tier - english speakers do not write like this, perhaps " . . . results in a greater level of harmony"</p>

<p>As stated by Maria Joseph, a socialist -‘’nothing is permanent except change.” - the writing is fine, not sure of the relevance of Ms. Joseph being a socialist and if it is relevant why it is being introduced in the last sentence</p>

5

<p>the “literature” is used in the last sentence of the intro para and i ws going to use in the conclusion too bt it slipped frm my mind due to lack of time .</p>

<p>the second point i wanted to make was that- one need not follow(purseu) what is a common and unwise (pedestrian) mindset(conception).</p>

<p>about the maria joseph thing , actually i was studying frm 'how to write a killer sat essay by tom clements 'where
the real essays shown had a conclusion quote by a personality (not necessarily real) which had no early reference in the topic so i thot it would be f9 if i used such a concept here. still it would be better if u would tell me if i should or shouldn’t do it.</p>

<p>and yeah , thnx a lot for a detailed review.</p>