Help!! Please grade my essay!!

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<p>So apparently my essay writing has gotten worse. So I revamped my technique a bit yesterday.
I left my spelling error(s) in. </p>

<p>Prompt: Are we free to make decisions or are we limited in the choices we can make?</p>

<p>Decisions are what define one's character. When making a difficult decision, nobody is circumscribed by the choices available. If one is determined, he or she can make a once impossible option possible. Hester Prynne from Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter and Rosa Parks both epitomize the ideal that we are free to make our own decisions. </p>

<p>Nathaniel Hawthorne characterized Hester Prynne as a character who could make her own decision, despite what society thinks of her. In the novel, Hester commits a sin in the rigid Puritanical society. After her deed is revealed, she is coerced to bear the scarlet letter. The townspeople expect Hester to succumb to the humiliation the letter gives her. However, Hester is defiant and does not let herself become a product of the doctrinaire beliefs. Instead, she embellishes the letter with gold thread signifying her decision to break from the conventional norms of colonial times. At first, it seemed as if Hester was bound by the options she had available because of the strict society she lived in. Nontheless, Hester Prynne exemplified that anyone can make a decision on their own. </p>

<p>Although Rosa Parks was confined by the law in her decision, she demonstrated that we are free to do as we please. On December 1, 1955, in Montgomery Alabama, Rosa Parks got on to a bus. She took a seat in the middle of the bus, but a white man asked her to get up. Rosa Parks decided to ignore the man. The man notified the police and Parks was arrested. Due to the segregation laws, Parks was required to move to the back of the bus by law. However, her decision to remain in her seat is the quintessence that anyone can make their own decision. </p>

<p>Hester Prynne and Rosa Parks are both prime examples that one is free to make his or her own decision. If we were restricted in the options available, we would merely become products of society. Making our own decisions is an expression of individuality.</p>

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<p>Rosa Parks paragraph needs MOAR analysis.</p>

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<p>anyone else</p>

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<p>please i need help</p>

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<p>I agree with Ankur about Rosa Parks. It needs more analysis and insight into HOW she was free to make her own decision. According to law/society...she wasn't. You need to back that up more. Also with the Scarlet Letter example, you don't really show HOW she was free. You explained how she was bound--but not how she was free.</p>

<p>Explain the free part more. Make sure you do less summary, more proving of your thesis.</p>

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<p>I think this is a pretty good essay. Your point is that people can make their own decisions despite powerful social norms, and even laws. Perhaps some more generalization along that line would help a bit. Avoid words like "doctrinaire" unless you are really sure about what they mean and how they are used.</p>

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<p>Thank you for your feedback. Does anyone know around what grade I would get? I just wanted an idea of where I am sitting. </p>

<p>Also, I thought doctrinaire was used correctly? Puritans were extremely strict</p>

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<p>Re: doctrinaire. This is an example of how good use of vocabulary has to come from reading a lot, and not just from looking at dictionary definitions. "Doctrinaire" is most typically used in connection with political views. When you're talking about religious views, one is more likely to use "dogmatic," "fundamentalist," or the like. I concede that the dictionary definition of "doctrinaire" fits, but it will seem strange to a typical well-read adult reader. (You might say that a committed Marxist was doctrinaire, for example).</p>