SAT Essay---Please Score

<p>Prompt: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority?</p>

<p>Without a doubt, it is crucial to challenge the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority. If authority is not questioned, then the people would become mindless slaves to a tyrannical regime that would only repeatedly oppress its victims. Many historical dissident figures including Martin Luther and Thomas Paine have allowed their voices to be heard by denouncing those in power. Every person in position can go astray and it is the people's responsibility to prolong a functional civilization.</p>

<p>A primary example of the beneficial challenge of authority occurred in the 16th century during the Reformation when Martin Luther questioned the absolutism of the Roman Catholic Church. Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to a door, attacking an extremely corrupt, authoratative body, the Catholic Church. The decisions of the church included accepting bribes for positions and selling papal indulgences, fake documents granting ensurance to heaven, which at the time was highly valued. Angered by this corruption, he posted his 95 Theses on the door of the Vatican openly condemning the Church for its clerical abuses. Furthermore, his posting eventually started the Reformation, a period when the schism between Protestatism and Catholicism occurred. Additionally, during the Reformation, the Catholic Church revived and purified itself. Therefore, had not Martin Luther criticized the church's adulterated ideals, the Church would have continued its practices, much to the loss of the European people.</p>

<p>Secondly, in the 18th century, Thomas Paine, a radical writer, opposed colonial ruling and advocated to build a democratic society. During this time, America was under the rule of the British monarch, King George III. Under his rule, the colonists were slammed with numerous acts that imposed duties on colonial imports and dissolved local assemblies. Assemblies were the only way colonists could represent themselves to the British. Dismissing monarchy, Paine, an early defender of republicanism, bravely published his ideas in Common Sense. The book spread among the literate, and eventually it impressed deeply upon minds that his belief became one of the most significant ideologies of the American Revolution. By seeing the ways to break through the shackles of the British, Paine's enlightened thinking liberated people's established beliefes, and in turn, by publicizing Paine's democratic ideas, America emancipated herself. If no one had revealed Britain's dark ruling, then America might stll be in a position where its people are coerced by a tyrannical monarchy. </p>

<p>While those in power typically exhibit leadership qualities that allow them to rule, both Martin Luther and Thomas Paine realized that corruption needed to be fixed. In order for a society to progress, it is crucial for its people to never abandon their voices during critical issues. Opposing traditional, orthodox ideas is always important because mankind moves a step forward.</p>

<p>Comments:</p>

<ol>
<li>I highly doubt that you wrote 454 words in 25 minutes, and you likely couldn’t fit that on the two pages provided. </li>
<li>Good introduction and thesis</li>
<li>Excellent examples and details</li>
</ol>

<p>Something about this essay doesn’t seem right to me. I am fairly confident that this was not written in 25 minutes; it feels much too polished and it is abnormally long. If you actually produced this during the SAT (and could fit it on two pages) it would be a 6/6.</p>

<p>econ981, don’t worry I’m taking this SAT class and we had to research examples, etc…since collegeboard states there are I think 7 types of essays or whatever…this is my biographical essay. Thanks for the feedback though, and it fits on one and five sixths pages haha</p>

<p>Good job then; it is one of the best essays I have read on college confidential! I wouldn’t waste any more time on the essay since it is such a minor component. If you have a solid understanding of English grammar rules you will get an 800 on the writing section anyway, even if you get a 9 or 10 on the essay (which I don’t think you will!).</p>