SAT Essay

Test Preparation
1

<p>Hi, I just took my first practice test, and I would appreciate if someone could grade my essay (on the 2-12 scale) and give me pointers about how to improve my writing. The SAT Online Course Grader gave me a 10, but I think that I got a 7/8; please confirm.</p>

<p>Essay Prompt: </p>

<p>Is it always best to determine one's own views of right and wrong, or can we benefit from following the crowd?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>Individuality is the key to the gates of unprecedented creativity and prodigious change. Without it, the course of human history would have taken (and still could take) a path to deevolution rather than one of advancement and progress. Thus, it is always best to determin.e one's own views of right and wrong, and not follow the crowd. The success of this dogma is evident with the case of Hitler and Piggy.</p>

<p>When Adolf Hitler came to power in Germany in 1933, few Germans knew the extent to which he was willing to go to execute his dogmatic plans against Europe and the Jewish population. Before long, Germany invaded Poland and Czechoslovakia, setting off a world war; secretly, he also initiated his "Final Solution". Jews were first stripped of their citizenship, but were also taken to concentration camps before long. Even though the majority of German citizens clamored to join Hitler in his quest for German glory and power, a select few resisted him. Stauffenberg, an SS officer, unsuccessfully executed Operation Valkyrie to kill Hitler and reestablish democractic control of Germany. Though he failed and was executed, Stauffenberg gave the world hope that morality existed in Germany. </p>

<p>The power of individuality is also crystal-clear in "The Lord of the Flies". Piggy, though not the leader of a stranded group of boys on the island, displayed an uncanny moral inclination. Even when almost all the other boys reached a gruesome state of savageness, Piggy kept his cool and tried to establish democratic control with the conch. Although he may have been murdered for his individualistic morality, the other boys had no hope of survival in their savage states while Piggy did.</p>

<p>All in all, individual morality is better than following the crowd. If not for this, the modern way of civilized human life would have never developed.</p>

2

<p>Errors:</p>

<ul>
<li>redundancy (ex. said before long too many times)</li>
<li>minor spelling (ex. should be devolution)</li>
<li>don’t say crystal-clear; it’s a colloquialism…maybe evident </li>
<li>the actual essay is very short, and that really does make a difference. Aim for 425-500 words</li>
<li>in your examples, you need to write more about how their “individuality” led to “unprecedented creativity and prodigious change.” Just a couple of more sentences</li>
<li>examples both end with the maverick being dead; since that doesn’t support your thesis, you shouldn’t mention that or just think of better examples</li>
</ul>

<p>Overall this would be around a solid 8 to a 9.</p>