Hi guys so I’m a new member of college confidential, As a little introduction , I’m planning to retake the SAT this January and I’m in need of some help. Please grade the essay I wrote. This would be greatly appreciated!
‘Knowledge’ is the most powerful tool one can have. As most of the people can imagine but not all people have the knowledge to properly use that imagination. Only people who have knowledge can use all of the other sources efficiently and this can be proved by taking the examples of Neils Bohr making of periodic table and Mr. Barrack Obama’s mission to kill Osama Bin Laden.
Neils Bohr, one of the most eminent scientists in the history of chemistry. He succeeded in making the Modern Periodic Table because of his knowledge about the physical and chemical properties of the atoms and their molecules. It would not have been possible because of his imagination as imagination would not have told him about atomic numbers, masse and properties of the atoms. So, knowledge is much more important than imagination as it(knowledge) would help us to do things correctly and then would help us to become a success in life.
Same was with the mission of the American President, Mr. Barrack Obama. His mission to kill Osama Bin laden would not have been completed and succeeded without the accurate knowledge of Osama’s position. His army men and he were successful because of their knowledge and not because of their imagination. They might have imagined that how will they kill Osama but that was not enough, in order to make their mission successful. Therefore again knowledge proved to be beneficial than imagination.
Hence, knowledge is more important and valuable than imagination. Knowledge always leads us to success; we have seen in the above examples of Osama’s mission and that of Neils Bohr.
The Essay Prompt is: Do you believe that fantasy or imagination is more important than knowledge?
try using literature examples. i think the graders are English teachers LOL.
Guys please help me to grade my essay!! 
In my opinion, this would receive a 7-8. Please don’t take this offensively. In general, your essay could be longer. Also, your conclusion definitely feel rushed was just combined with the 3rd paragraph. If you are going to 2 examples, try to at least have an entire paragraph for the conclusion. There is no flow in the essay, it keeps ending and starting abruptly. In your Obama example, you digressed to talk about the army, which deviates from the center of the topic. Also, you do not have any specifics in each of the examples. You mention what each person generally did, but never explained how the specifics of their actions demonstrate the presence of knowledge. Furthermore, you have to use the specifics to explain WHY they are important and relate to KNOWLEDGE. A few more SAT words could also move you up a point, and please learn to spell the current POTUS’s name correctly. lol There is a lot of room for improvement, so start fixing!!
@littlemonster39 for your suggestions. pls can u also tell me the length of each paragraph if I go for 3 examples?
here are just some suggestions:
I suggest maybe using leaving out the casual conversational words like “so, …” and “same was…”
“. As most of the people can imagine” ?? Most of the what people??
“Only people who have knowledge can use all of the other sources efficiently and this can be proved by taking the examples of Neils Bohr making of periodic table and Mr. Barrack Obama’s mission to kill Osama Bin Laden.”
This is a runon sentence. It would work if you removed the and between efficiently and this and turn them into separate sentences.
I think that that you are trying really hard to prove one side or another. But what you really need to do is explore both sides of the arguments and expand upon your ideas.
I would probably give this essay a 7, please dont take offense at this, you just need to work on some grammatical and flow stuff
I agree with smileydinosaur…a 7…it definitely needs some work
Why don’t people pay attention to the warnings telling them not to post essays on this site?