<p>P. I really, really love you. And I hate you with the same passion!</p>
<p>Why is it okay for you to put down and criticize my sonās ātype Aā personality traits but if god forbid I implied your ācreativeā child is a slacker youād completely freak out? Yes my son is organizing the trip to our beach house and yes he told your son what time to leave and how they were handling the finances, but if your kid could have put down the video game controls for 10 minutes or so he could have been in on the discussion. Really after all these years I still have to bow to the wonder of all that is your family? We are controlling because we expect good grades and responsible behavior? Arghhhhhhhhhh.</p>
<p>You are smart enough to graduate magna cum laude last month from a top university, get accepted to an Ivy law school, and also get a job offer for a very intriguing position. Yet you are sooooo stupid that you spent the afternoon on the beach without sunscreen. 3 days later, Iāve taken you to your doctor, the ER, and finally to the not-so-local burn center where they admitted you for 2 days. How dumb can you be!!!</p>
<p>If you are going to work all weekend, go to the office. Otherwise, the entire family has to tip-toe around you, remain quiet and just generally deal with your mood. It would be a 15 minute commute - just go. And honestly, it seems to me that ever since youāve been given the ability to work from home, you feel the need to do it anytime there is something on the homfront that requires your attention. </p>
<p>And yes, I also work fulltime and have done plenty of nights and weekends. But it seems like I always have to juggle it around other schedules. I canāt (or havenāt) just sat myself down in the middle of everything and said IāM WORKING!!!</p>
<p>Dear paint-counter lady at Home Depot. You are very good and very patient. This last try was very close and I know how hard it is to match old paint. But this isnāt a palm green. Itās very close but more on the yellow side. It needed a touch less yellow and a drop more blue. After looking at it for a week I suddenly realized that the name of this color is Booger Green.
Sigh, back to the paint counter tomorrow.</p>
<p>You know, I understand how you feel. I really do. And I know you wish I felt the same, but itās not going to happen - not now, not ever. Iām really sorry, but please move on so that we can both get on with our lives; if you keep loitering about like this, Iām going to burn the bridge between us, because you can try my patience only for so long.</p>
<p>Dear car,
A nice mechanic is working on you now. He will fix you all up and make you feel better. Please, please get my boy to California. Please!</p>
<p>Iāve been unemployed about 24 hours now and Iām already sick of it!</p>
<p>Iām glad you want me to succeed, no matter what the reason is, but it is a little weird knowing that itās mainly so that your bosses know that the place is in good hands, so that you can get out of here faster. Itās not really that bad, is it?</p>
<p>You have put me in a very uncomfortable position. Did you think no one would take notice of what you have done ? Because you stole , I may have to sever my ties to a bank that I have done business with for many years. What a mess</p>
<p>Youāre traveling on the Friday of a three day weekend with a commercial vehicle going into the NY Metro area - did you not think you would hit tons of traffic? Did you think it was going to take you the same amount of time as it would if you were traveling non-commercial in November during the week? Why did you wait until 11:00AM to begin this trip? Now youāve ruined my evening and you canāt even get here until tomorrow morning. Iām sorry, I should bad for you and your bad judgement? Arenāt you the professional?</p>
<p>Good job, little blue car.You got him through Utah. Now get him the rest of the way and through the next 2 months. I am sorry for the names I called you when I was paying the auto repair bills.</p>
<p>We may stop by briefly for the fireworks celebration. But honestly, you are a very opinionated, bossy, negative person and hard to be around except in small doses. Add to that you really canāt cook, and that tree in the neighbors backyard has pretty much obliterated the view of the fireworks. It really isnāt a lot of fun now that the kids are grown.</p>
<p>Note to self:
Before you decide to triple the zucchini bread recipe to have 3 loaves, turn the recipe card over and read that each recipe makes 2 loaves! We are awash in zucchini bread!! I guess this is a good thingā¦</p>
<p>Dear son in college who has now lost his third cell phone: !@#$%^&!!</p>
<p>Sometimes, I find myself thinking of all the things I would have told you, if we were still friends:
-Iām submitting not one but two first author papers this month.
-I love Pandoraāitās sort of awesome.
-Happy Fourth of July!
-I have an academic crush on this TV psychologist just because he is so damn committed to science of it all, and itās such a pleasure to see my (our) field done so right.
-For all your faults, you did have excellent taste in music.
-Books? not so much.
-It kind of sucks not having air conditioningā¦
-Shrek 4 was surprisingly dark and compelling.
-I go back and forth between being totally excited to move and totally hesitant to do so.
-I finished my Americorps term! Yay!
-Every time someone talks about running, I think of you. You really should publish that essay some day, with or without my half.</p>
<p>Sometimes, it is the little things I miss the mostā¦</p>
<p>I told you so. I told you so, I told you so, and I told you so.</p>
<p>And, six months from now, Iāll have told you so again.</p>
<p>Dear parents:
I know you know Iām 22 and a happy graduate of a super top notch school with an engineering degree and a job lined up. But you still seem to demand so much out of me. For the past four years Iāve lived how Iāve wanted to live. Sure, my dorm room and apartment room was scattered with books, books, notes, more books, and piles of clothes dropped off my body at 3am after a long homework study session (I was kind enough to drop the sleeping naked habit upon returning home, ya know). I ate when I was hungry, worked out when I felt fat, and hung out and socialized maybe more than my GPA would have appriciated.</p>
<p>But nowā¦Iām home. Until September or October or whenever I feel stable enough to venture out on my own and be a contributing member to society. I took the summer off at your suggestion because Iāve endured 17 (YES, 17!) years of public schooling. That doesnāt even include two years of preschool. All Iāve ever known is how to work hard in school, thatās all thatās seemed to matter. Want a sleepover? Get all Os. Want to drive? Get As. Want to go to college? Gets As, do track, do band, do math league, etc. Oh, and be a contributing member of the household. I understand I was a ****head most of my high school years, I was pubescent and having girl problems (I was the only 5ā10" big boned girl that was, in no means, overweight) and a high schooler. It was your job to command me around for those years pre-18 and pre-college. I actually thank youā¦I got to go to a dream school and get a great education, have no loans, and a job in this economy. Whoopie
But now, Iām an adult. I know you think you know best and want the best for me and therefore feel itās appropriate to hound on me to keep my room perfect and not be a total waste of space on Sundays and do so much. Iām an adult, I should be a contributing member of the household and society. Fine. But guys, Iāve been working my butt off for a long, long time. Two months of downtime isnāt too much to ask. Iāve picked up a nice part-time job that Iām basically working full-time until my real engineering job begins, pays well, and I help cook and clean and run errands and get the little one places. </p>
<p>All I ask in return is a little less āclean up your room!ā and āyou need to eat this full mealā and āyouāre getting fatā. Iād also like to not have a curfew. I promise I wonāt sleep till noon the next day, I promise I wonāt be grouchy (just let me get my eggs and OJ to get my hangover taken care of). I donāt mind you asking when Iāll be home, but when I say āgee, the Metro closes at 3am, so at latest, 3amā, I donāt want menacing looks. I know you donāt fully approve of my job but it pays extremely well, I LOVE it, and itās going to expand my horizons, use my knowledge and creativity, and serve me well, at least for a year. I know you donāt think moving into DC is a great idea ever. Fine, but let me figure these things out. Iāve lived on my own for 4 years and havenāt terribly maimed myself with more than a parring knife, I donāt smell, I shower regularly, and actually worked out more than I do at home (pinky swear). Let me take control on these aspects of my life, and I PROMISE that I will not treat this house like a hotel, will contribute when necessary, will have dinner ready most nights of the week, and be a happy camper. I really do like being home, so letās all enjoy it</p>
<p>PS- donāt ever question me when I send a text saying Iām staying at a friendās house on the Metro because I drank too much (because at 1am, when I figure this out, I donāt want to wake you, I just want to let you know Iām safe). EVER EVER EVER EVER. I donāt need you guilt tripping me into a DUI and I will never drive drunk but I donāt want a war erupting either. Iām 22, I know about the birds and bees if necessary</p>
<p>Thank you, all of you, for once again behaving beautifully and providing such a good example of extended-family relationships to all the little cousins and new potential in-laws. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. See you next year, same place, same time. Oh, and whoever brought that orange jello fluff dessert, it really hit the spot mid-afternoon. Can you please bring it again?</p>
<p>what are we doing here I wonder? anti nagging?</p>