Scared of the future

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<p>Because college admissions decisions are made by imperfect people with imperfect information in an imperfect process, it is just foolish to have a dream school and to view college admissions as either an affirmation or a negation of your self-worth. You are better than most of the people making the decisions. Get over it. </p>

<p>Have a dream life, not a dream college! There are many excellent colleges that can be a conduit to that dream life, but the dream life is the thing that is most within your control. Go after it. </p>

<p>So the solution to your problem is not to have a dream college. </p>

<p>Problem solved!</p>

<p>@Vizactyh‌:</p>

<p>It may matter where you go. Some paths may get you somewhere more readily, but in the US, there are always multiple paths to a goal. Plus, the biggest variable will always be you & your strengths, weaknesses, how you will maximize your strengths, lessen you weaknesses, and drive when it comes to achieving stuff.</p>

<p>I consider this the “I would only be happy if” syndrome. It’s a bit like having a teenage crush on a movie star. It’s some kind of ideal you fixate on without really knowing what about them would be right for you. Few of us marry a movie star yet most of us find someone, imperfect as they might be (except for my wonderful wife), and we discover qualities that make them right for us. Limiting yourself to two dream schools is not only ensuring you will likely be disappointed but it also removes the enjoyment of really finding the place that could be perfect for you. Look around, enjoy the search, and learn to be happy with what you have, not what you dream about. You’ll always be happy that way. Good luck.</p>

<p>You know, this is really a very telling post. Our society has managed to create an atmosphere where people cannot seem to be happy unless they reach a level that others tell them they must reach to be happy. This cite helps foster this perception. You can only be happy if you are successful . . and you can only be successful if you go to your “dream, elite, prestigious” school and from there the type of job that everybody will recognize you as the best of the best because otherwise you will be a failure in life. Not only is going to college a MUST to be happy, but going to the BEST college is a must because otherwise you will be a failure and your chance of happiness gone. The chains people shackle themselves with in this society is incredible. To the OP . . . you have your whole life ahead of you, but you can spend your whole life always worrying about the future and never being happy with what you have. That is the real risk you face and what you need to deal with. And by the way, much as I read about college fit on this site, I’m not sure how anybody will know if they have a good fit until they actually go to college. I expect that there are hundreds of colleges you would fit into just fine if you open your mind and gave them a chance.</p>

<p>The OP is international, so by “our society”, you must not mean the American one.</p>

<p>Nearby does not equal sucky. And a prestigious name doesn’t automatically equal the right education for you. Reverse your college search exercise by taking a good long look at what you need/want out of college. Then start identifying colleges that meet those needs and wants. You’ll end up with a list of great, not-sucky colleges in a variety of locations.</p>

<p>@knoxpatch Great advice, thanks :)</p>