<p>So, I have gotten into Stevenson, Emma Willard, and Thacher. I just went to a revisit day at Thacher and loved it!</p>
<p>Though, there were a few problems. One being I didn't feel as though I connected with any other perspective students. And I just now realize, I am scared and nervous about boarding school. </p>
<p>There is no turning back when I decide to go to Thacher. I can't turn back if I realize I don't belong there. What will I do if this does happen?</p>
<p>The deadline for acceptance is in nine days! I'm now starting to think, 'Wait, what if Emma Willard is the place for me?' I'm not going to a revisit day, yet I haven't denied acceptance. </p>
<p>And then, if I don't go to boarding school at all, I will be stuck at the public high school in my small town. </p>
<p>I am also worried that I will get accepted into Exeter or Andover (my top two choices I was waitlisted at) late, but have already committed to Thacher (or Emma).</p>
<p>I don't really know why I'm posting this, but maybe it is because I need convincing or advise. But if I need convincing, is Thacher the school for me?</p>
<p>You will have a miserable first term wherever you are at because of the complete and utter strangeness of the environment. You will feel alone, you will feel that everyone is weird, and you will feel that you made the worst mistake of your life. After Christmas, you will return, you will actually settle in, eat the right food, make the friends you thought you couldn’t find and by end of the first year you will absolutely LOVE IT. This pattern will be repeated at every school you would go to, so don’t worry about not connecting at Thatcher or anywhere. Fling yourself into the void.</p>
<p>On our revisit days, I generally notice that the vast majority of revisit students are scared out of their minds. (Some hide it better than others.) It does not surprise me at all that you didn’t connect with other prospective students on such an intense, overwhelming day. In fact, one of my Sophomores was reminiscing this week about meeting a current freshman during revisit day last year. The freshman had absolutely no memory of this meeting at all even though they are very close friends now. We were all laughing about how nerve-wracking a revisit can be.</p>
<p>Deep breath. Give yourself time. Thacher is a great school, and part of the reason you were accepted was that the admissions committee saw things in you that gave them every belief that you could be happy and thrive in their school. It doesn’t happen immediately, but it does happen for most kids at a new school.</p>
<p>Look, you should sit back and kind of take a look at some things here.</p>
<p>1) Do you want to go to boarding school?
a) If yes, read on.
b) If not, you’re done.
2) Do you think you have what it takes to go and be successful?
Same a&b choices
3) Do you think you’ll enjoy life at boarding school?
a) If yes, read on.
b) If not, consider your alternatives. Is your public school going to be more enjoyable for you?</p>
<p>The social aspect will come, and I wouldn’t worry. All of these schools are generally supportive and friendly.</p>
<p>Usually, first gut feelings are the right ones. Don’t even consider Andover and Exeter right now. </p>
<p>Revisit days are not conducive to meeting other prospective kids in your class. It will feel a lot different when you arrive for school and can meet other kids in a more relaxed environment. Keep in mind that virtually no one knows each other, so it’s very easy to meet and make new friends.</p>
<p>My kid connected with no one, prospective students or host, on revisit day at the school the kid eventually decided upon, and almost went to another school (already knew kids at the other school, so revisit day there wasn’t really comparable).</p>
<p>However, we all knew it was the right choice, so the kid enrolled anyway. A day student, the kid was still dubious after coming home from staying overnight for orientation. On the first day of school, the kid made about 3 lifelong friends, has had a blast since then, and hasn’t looked back.</p>
<p>Our story almost IDENTICAL to photodad’s: went to revisit day at different school, son had a friend who got in (and was definitely going), went on same day, vaguely knew two other kids there, had a great time, super chatty all day. Went to revisit day at school he eventually attended, knew no one, felt incredibly awkward all day. Host perfectly nice, but no real connection. Felt like everyone else visiting seemed totally comfortable except him. However, he liked the classes so much better (as well as some ECs, logistics), he picked the school anyway. They had a picnic for new students in the summer – he didn’t want to go, but I forced him. He had a GREAT time. Then they did a couple nights in a camp in the Berkshires for new students – loved that too. Couldn’t stop saying how NICE everyone was. Has been happy with kids (and school) ever since. Of course, has kids he’s not particularly friends with, but overall vibe continues to be great, and definitely has group of real friends he hangs out with all the time. </p>
<p>@boardingboarder - The admission’s team at Thacher is extraordinarily good at matching a student to the school. Its high yield and low attrition year in and year out are two crucial measures of that success. You were admitted for your very specific set of talents and personal characteristics. Since less than 15% of all applicants get an acceptance letter, it is a testament not only to your gifts and accomplishments, but to Thacher’s rock solid belief in YOU personally, their belief that you will be a great, HAPPY, engaged member of the community.</p>
<p>Revisit days and tours are the briefest snapshots - maybe they’re perfect, maybe they’re not, maybe they’re somewhere in between. The anxiety you feel about making a leap into boarding school is felt to some degree by everyone. It’s a big decision in your life, a brave decision, an exciting decision! The hardest moments are at the start. In short order, your anxiety will quickly fade and you will blossom with loads of new friends and incredible experiences. You will look back at this moment and shake your head and say “I can’t believe I was worried!” </p>
<p>My daughter was super excited to go away, UNTIL she got acceptance letters. We went to re-visit (about 3 days before answer was due) expecting to hear her say she liked it but wanted to stay home. After the very first evening - it was a 2-day event - she told us to “write the check” LOL. Seriously, she felt like everyone knew someone else that first night. Day 2 came and one of the girls came over to ask her to go with them to visit classes. That was it, we didn’t see her again. </p>
<p>Long story short: don’t base your decision on who you may, or may not, have met at re-visit. You only met a small sampling of POTENTIAL classmates. You need to think more along the lines of: does this school have the academic level I seek? does this school offer sports/clubs that interest me? Do I feel excited when I walk around campus? </p>
<p>From what I have heard, Thacher seems an amazing school. In fact, although I hadn’t heard of it until CC, if they had offered ice hockey as a sport, I guarantee my kid would have applied!</p>
<p>Good luck. Don’t worry about what might have been, spend your efforts of what is to come!</p>
<p>Great advice by all on this thread even for kids considering other schools. As a parent I feel I am the one freaking out and your advice has helped me to realize it will ALL work out!</p>
<p>boardingboarder - It’s hard to know which feels more intense, the storm surge of a revisit day or the flood that follows. In our case last year, my son had a blast at his revisit (at Thacher) but was nagged by uncertainty in the day following (we were right up against the April decision-day). Part of the anxiety was simply the idea of making a commitment itself. </p>
<p>When faced with the idea of signing on the dotted line, it can all seem like an elephant-sized gamble. What helped our son and us then was to take that proverbial gulp of air and step back. We asked him if he could verbalize specifically what “unknowns” he was particularly concerned about. In his case, perhaps like yours, it was “will there be enough kids ‘like me’ there… and will I make friends.” Those are perfectly reasonable worries… and it can seem like a crapshoot to throw your hand in when you have no idea how some of that will play out. What we did - this may reveal how totally nerd-ball WE are - was to call the AO and talk through that exact question: AO: you know our kid… these are his interests… in his free time, he’s likely to enjoy chatting about the latest XKCD cartoon far more than throwing a football, etc. what’s the likelihood of there being other kids whose idea of a good time falls similarly? </p>
<p>We felt a little bit silly making that call initially, but I can’t tell you how relieved we were in the end that we had! Thacher’s AO was brilliant… without naming any names of course, he was able to talk about the interests, general profile of the kids who had already accepted. We had to laugh at some of them… while there were plenty of mainstream and wonderful interests… several were as esoteric and wacky as my son’s. Still understanding there were no guarantees - either there or in life - just penetrating the darkness as it were and being able to visualize the profile of his class, made our DS feel immeasurably relieved. It punctured some of the uncertainty… It took him less than five minutes later to say “yes” and he had great peace about it. This is just a tiny little example. The point is that you and all your BS-bound mates are truly all going through rounds of rounds of exactly what you’re feeling. You’re in great company. And, if there are specific questions you feel you can put your finger on, I would encourage you or your parents to pick up the phone to the AOs and ask them. They truly are happy and eager to help. Knowledge - even if not perfect - is power. Best of luck to you! Hope to see you at Thacher in the fall :-)</p>