Scared to talk to my roommates?

Student Lounge College Life
1

I got my room assignment a few weeks ago and I’m too scared to email or text my 3 other roommates. I don’t know why, I just get so nervous and can’t get myself to send the message! Anyone else feeling this?

2

What about it scares you?

3

@JustOneDad I’m not sure! I’m scared that they won’t like me or they’ll be terrifying. I’m just concerned that we won’t click. I really like my room and I don’t want to have to change if they’re scary, ya know. IM SO NERVOUS

4

All of that is unlikely. But, you won’t know for sure until you take a stab at it.

5

They’re scared too. That’s why nothing is in your inbox yet.

6

I think everyone is scared about going off to live with someone they’ve never met before for six months, often far from home. If you make an effort to reach out and make contact, it might actually ease the transition. If you feel awkward, have fun with it. Make a survey, ask them about stuff they like. Enjoy this ready-made chance to know someone before you get there.

7

Don’t worry about whether or not you will get along. Try to think about how if you don’t get along, at least it will be a learning experience.

8

Eh, just do it! Start with an innocuous text or email. If you’re female then something like, “hi guys this is Anne! Looking forward to meeting everybody in September.”

If you’re a guy then something like, “bringing my PS3, who’s down for some halo?” Or whatever manly stuff you’re into.

9

I just went through the “OMG I AM SENDING MESSAGES TO COMPLETE STRANGERS WHO I AM GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH” thing and it went fine. Here are some things I found out:

  1. A good starting question, if you have this option, is “Which dorm/building would you prefer to live in?” It’s a general question that is also practical later on.
  2. If you live in a unique place, tell them you live there and ask them if they want anything from there (within reason of course). Great icebreaker that also tells them something about you and your background. Also has the added perk of establishing you as a nice person.
  3. People love to talk about TV, movies, and books, because these are sort of shared experiences. Even if you have never seen each other before and live halfway across the country from them, you probably have both read some of the same books or watched the same shows. I asked for book recommendations and learned quite a bit about what my roommates enjoy. Also offer a few of your own recommendations based on their answers. You can tell a lot about a person’s personality from what they like to read.
  4. Don’t try to talk about room arrangements (fridge, decor, etc) too early.
  5. Be a slightly more personable version of yourself. Don’t hide your real personality in order for them to like you. Write the way you talk. Remember that text will never be as dynamic as speech, so talk about yourself a little, too. Imagine if you thought reading texts that you would have a super friendly roommate but then he/she turned out to be rude and inconsiderate. Represent yourself honestly.

I hope you can overcome your nervousness and enjoy the experience!