<p>The Admissions Office of one of the schools at the top of my daughter's list has requested an "optional" recommendation from us--her parents! Have any of you received such a request? This is something new in my experience, and I am not sure how to respond. Any advice, information, suggestions?</p>
<p>Some colleges ask for this (Mount Holyoke is one I know of). I never had to do this, so I could be totally off with my suggestion. I would write an honest essay on why I think my daughter would be a good fit for their college (for instance, I can tell them why I call my D "my Rosie"), give them some insight into my child's personality that may not be reflected upon in her other recommendations.</p>
<p>I did one for my D's Centre app last year. It was kind of fun. They knew all the stats, so I wrote about "who" she is. I really enjoy writing, so I had a blast. The nice thing is, it's optional, so you don't have to do it if you don't feel comfortable ... but if you decide to do it, there's no right or wrong way to approach it.</p>
<p>Smith College asked for one for D1 back in 2004. I, too, wrote about her growth as a person. It was a pleasant surprise...and we were pleased to provide some insight.</p>
<p>I did one for Brandeis and enjoyed writing it very much. I talked about my son, of course, and also why I was glad that he was applying - his great grandmother, an immigrant from Austro-Hungary, had helped with fund-raising for the school when it was founded.</p>
<p>Saint Anselm sent a lovely note requesting such a letter and I have to say it was great fun to write. It was a unique chance to share about the girl behind the stats and why we love her so much :)</p>
<p>Thank you all for your responses! I can now see how this would be a lovely experience sharing some of what makes this D such a delight for us. She is our youngest and ready to fly.</p>
<p>I had to do one for my daughter for high school admissions. It was truly enlightening for me because sometimes I get so caught up in daily life that I don't see the big picture. I also don't often stop to really think about my kids in great depth and this was a wonderful experience for me to do that. I saved the recommendation because it is so personal and I hope to share it with her someday.</p>
<p>The college counseling office at D's school asks for such a recommendation from all parents during the junior year; the counselors use it to augment the recommendations they write for each child, and it's a terrific opportunity not only to brag about the unique and wonderful creature you have raised, but also, as Zoosermom says, to appreciate the "big picture" of who your child is. Don't fail to take advantage of the opportunity, especially if it's a top choice school.</p>
<p>We had to write up stuff for the GC's questionnaire at DS1's HS. It was a chance to back away from the activities and honors and discuss who he is, his role in our family, how he has grown, etc. DS did not want to talk much about how he pursued his interests back when he was very young, but I did. It was a pleasure to write, and I think it gave the GC some perspective when she wrote her letter.</p>
<p>I was also able to discuss some things (i.e., how we as a family, and specifically, DS, have handled my medical condition) so that the GC could put it into context -- because DS said there was no way he was playing "the cancer card" (as he put it) in his apps.</p>
<p>As I tell the kids on CC who ask about the GC questionnaires, it is an opportunity to help frame the discussion. Take advantage of it.</p>
<p>None of his colleges asked to hear from us, but that was OK.</p>
<p>My parents refused to write the parent recommendation that one of my schools asked for. I think it was Tufts, and I got rejected there.</p>
<p>I did one for my D for Hampshire College just a few weeks ago. I thoroughly enjoyed it and after all the essays she had recently written she got a kick out of seeing me agonize over my "writing assignment".</p>
<p>I don't like parent recs; they give an unfair advantage to kids whose parent's are well-educated and articulate.</p>
<p>Geneseo had an optional one of those.</p>
<p>"I don't like parent recs; they give an unfair advantage to kids whose parent's are well-educated and articulate."</p>
<p>Only if that's what they're looking for. Very few people write as well as they think they do and the well-educated are certainly going to be more inclined to overthink this and attempt to be manipulative. I don't care how smart someone is it is generally pretty easy to tell if someone is being sincere and writing from the heart about something so personal.</p>
<p>I received a request from Saint Anselm College to write a parent's letter of recommendation for my son. I sent one in that told about some of his personal qualities that were not apparent in his application. My S had his acceptance letter within a week of me sending the recommendation.</p>
<p>I, too, wrote reflections on my son when it was requested in a small LA school's application and enjoyed the process immensely. I think my son also gained insight into his strengths from my perspective, which I had never elaborated on before, not wanting him to have a swelled head. He was accepted with a large merit award, and I felt it was because admissions took a holistic approach to understanding their applicants.</p>
<p>In the case of parents who are less-educated or articulate, I think it would be a really good idea to have someone else help them write it, or to help polish their recommendation. It's not like it's cheating... it's not the parents who are applying and their writing skills are not being tested. It's the ideas they want to share about their kid that matters, and there's no reason they couldn't get help expressing those ideas in a letter.</p>
<p>in my cynical mood, i couldn't help wondering if one of the purposes was to see if there was any similarity in writing styles between the parent's letter and the student's essay -- ie whether the same hand could be seen in both!</p>
<p>at one school that had an optional one, the ad officer at the info session said it was just a chance for the student to have a positive letter of recommendation.</p>
<p>I really don't think the schools are looking for the most articulate letters in choosing students. A school requiring a parent recommendation letters is likely to be the type that prides itself on putting together a very diverse class (in terms of life experiences). I can't imagine a parent would write anything bad about his child. The school is looking for more insight, and often a parent can provide that better than the guidance counselor. It's just another way to get to know the applicant. A strong applicant isn't penalized by what is or is not written.</p>