<p>My daughter (rising junior) currently attends a Christian high school. I did the same thing as a kid, but I was cut from a different cloth: not a major rule follower, went to college and went nuts with all the freedom and parties, settled down toward the end of my sophomore year. Kind of what I think of as the quintessential college experience. </p>
<p>My daughter is much more of a rule follower. She won't eat a slice of whiskey cake because it has alcohol in it, holds her breath when she walks by someone smoking, avoids caffeine and the like. She is extremely moral, perhaps overly so if that's possible. </p>
<p>I am starting to comb through colleges to suggest to her and I'd love some advice. I'm not sure a full-on Christian college would be right for her because I think she needs to find some middle ground by being exposed to other kinds of people. However, I think a very liberal school would eat her alive. At this moment, she is diabolically opposed to drinking alcohol. I know full well that could change, but I am interested in finding schools where kids who don't drink have fun too and aren't considered freaks. </p>
<p>Her weighted gpa is a 3.87 and she got a 1740 on her sophomore PSAT (hopeful the math will go up now that she took geometry.) </p>
<p>I would love any suggestions or ideas you have. I thought Baylor might be one to meet this criteria. Others?</p>
<p>Has she thought about attending a women’s college? Many were founded by churches (Wesleyan College - Methodist; Agnes Scott - Presbyterian) and maintain friendly atmospheres for people like your daughter while not restricting their student bodies to people only like your daughter.</p>
<p>Your Daughter will be surrounded by other kids that are committed to drug and alcohol free lifestyle.Room & Dorm mates tend to be the best friends of freshman and substance free housing will put your D in a good situation.</p>
<p>She will have to be prepared for seeing drunk kids , regardless of a schools reputation regarding drinking. </p>
<p>Peer pressure is powerful but you will find that college kids are mature and can be tolerant and understanding of an individuals morality. </p>
<p>I think at least one parent here complained that their kid lived in a substance free dorm, but the college moved in a partier as a roommate when the college was trying to get the partier to clean up her act. A lot of these programs sound great, but its hard to judge how they are really working.</p>
<p>Regarding “college moved in a partier as a roommate when the college was trying to get the partier to clean up her act.”</p>
<p>This situation is the exception rather that the rule. Logic would dictate that a student has a better chance to make friends with a similar preference in substance free housing.
Many kids drink at college , but not all.
The kids usually have to sign an agreement to be substance free , if they violate they risk losing the housing.</p>
<p>In the OP search , they can call admissions with specific questions and may even be put in touch with students that can speak to the success of the program or lack thereof.</p>
<p>Some evangelical Christians don’t consider Mormons Christian, so maybe going to BYU would be the best of both worlds–she’d be experiencing “other kinds of people” and yet be among others who don’t party hard with alcohol, etc. ;)</p>
<p>I would look VERY closely at any school if they have a big Greek scene or have a major football scene or are located in the middle of nowhere. A culture of alcohol seems to be prevalent in those situations. </p>
<p>We had one D who went to a college without a big frat culture and one who is going to one with a big frat culture. It makes a difference in the vibe of the place, even though drinking was done on both campuses.</p>
<p>No pre-marital sex won’t be a problem, would it?</p>
<p>Marywood University in Scranton, PA has a substance free dorm, a strong Christian community (Big House draws kids from very liberal to very consevative, and they agree to disagree on major issues of theology). There is partying there, but no pressure to party and the campus seems to be extremely friendly. My liberal Protestant kid does well there; loves going to mass (which is not required). There are right-to-life groups and a lot of community service groups that she could join and find friends. And a lot of service trips to broaden her horizons. </p>
<p>Since she’s used to a small high school, she might feel less lost in a smaller school - and it might be easier to connect with other non-drinking kids.</p>
<p>I would suggest Pepperdine as well as one of the seven sisters all-girls schools. I might also suggest Texas A&M and a smattering of LACs. (There are several of these where the drinking atmosphere is essentially non-existent.)</p>
<p>“I’m not sure a full-on Christian college would be right for her because I think she needs to find some middle ground by being exposed to other kinds of people.” - That’s a good point. But don’t assume that Christian colleges (or any college) is a perfect substance-free places. Just continue doing your homework and find a place that is a good fit.</p>
<p>I second the idea of a women’s college-even the completely secular ones seem to be less about the party lifestyle. I went to Mills College on the West Coast and it was really not a place where people drank on campus much. It was also a place where she could experience the diverse Bay Area.
Earlham is also a Quaker school that seems to attract a sober group, although not necessarily an overtly religious group. It is a safe and nurturing environment as well, though it is an environment where should would be challenged to define her own beliefs. It is politically liberal and very tolerant at the same time.</p>
<p>Be careful with substance free housing. I’m the RA on the substance free floor and we get three kinds of girls.</p>
<ol>
<li>The girls like your daughter, who either stay that way, or turn into partiers.</li>
<li>The girls who don’t think they’re going to party, and turn out not to be partiers, or turn into big drinkers.
And then 3. The girls whose parents force them to live on the substance free floor in hopes that it will clean up their act.</li>
</ol>
<p>In all honesty, I don’t drink either, and I go to a big “Party” school, and I have tons of friends who are like minded. Wherever she goes she’ll find people like her.</p>
<p>But Wheaton College is a good school if she’s looking for someplace conservative.</p>
<p>MOWC…Granted, Baylor is not Liberty or BYU; however, in comparison to most schools, the students are fairly straight-laced. I teach at a Christian school in TX, and we always have a large number of non-drinkers head to Baylor and A&M. I would not put these two in the same category as UT, TCU, etc.</p>
<p>Some of the good midwestern schools have a reputation of being not heavily party hearty…there are parties but it is not a predominant campus activity on weekends and pretty much non-existent on weekdays. Those that I know relatively first hand are Kalamazoo College and Hope College in Michigan and St. Olaf in Minnesota. Great schools and good opportunities for merit money. I’m sure there are others in older threads on this topic or others will chime in.</p>
<p>Hopefully your D will learn an understanding of why the rules she is religiously adhering to exist and devop an internal locus of control instead of just following rules. I don’t consider her any more “moral” than those who may indulge in activites she doesn’t- she is still a naive rules follower at this stage of her life. I was a “goody two shoes” in HS and rule follower, I matured into someone who understood why I wouldn’t do some things, and discarded rules I disagreed with. It sounds like you also matured, but went through a rebellious wild phase in the process. It also sounds like you want your D to continue with good lifestyle choices but to do so with maturity without following your path.</p>
<p>When you are discussing colleges she thinks she wants be sure to find out WHY she likes them. You may find yourself encouraging her to look at less conservative colleges than she thinks of (she may equate strict rules with better behavior but campus culture may be circumventing those rules in rebellion…). She should check out the campus religious organizations she may want to be involved in at any school on her list. Finding a peer group of like minded students will help her stay centered and may make a college she finds too “liberal” on paper not so.</p>
<p>First develop a sense of where she fits academically, then consider the campus character.</p>
<p>The first two suggestions that popped into my head were BYU and an All Girls College.
On second thought, from my experience at a large research university, I think she can also find her “niche” at a big school, while still being exposed to other types of people. Maybe it’s at my school, but at large schools, most people who are like each other tend to group off together. I think if anything, at smaller schools, there tends to be more pressure to behave a certain way.</p>
<p>Hmmm. You should talk to my dad lol. My dad is very clear that he doesn’t want me getting into the whole partying/drinking scene when I leave for college next year (I’m a Christian, too! Lol). But like you, I feel like it’s important to be exposed to things of that nature, not because it’s good, but because it’s important to meet and connect with different types of people. When people are limited in meeting only certain types of people & not others, it would only make one ignorant. </p>
<p>I would suggest Pepperdine. It’s Christian, but the student body is socially diverse. Otherwise Biola, also in LA. Or Whitman. I know you’re Christian, but Notre Dame is Catholic and has no frats/sororities. Everyone lives in dorms & has a 12am curfew, meaning no boys allowed in girls room after that time, vice versa. Except on weekends when it’s extended to 2am, I think. I can’t remember though if the dorms are co-Ed or not. Strict a little, but she’ll be able to meet different types of students.</p>